As a gal that has always erred on the slower than slow side, patience is your best ally here. I came out to my wife 10 yrs ago and though I move way too slow for most, she's still with me and ready for me to fully transition. Privilege, money (not a lack of it), career, community, kids (grade school aged boys), and extended family are all obstacles but she is not at all. I am fully out and living in the middle at home and she sees me and treats me as her female lover. It works for me and I consider on my side patience and understanding her place in this relationship as the keys to my success. Frankly on her side I consider her open mindedness and sexuality (fluid) to be a key but I could not control that. All I can control is me.
I guess I self disclose on your thread to simply say patience IS a virtue!
Peace and love to you and your beautiful wife!
-ash
