Has anyone called you brave?

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

Yes,  to snub a compliment isn't nice :-) doesn't really do you any good.

Besides we are brave.  I think it's funny that people thought they were the opposite of brave for not transitioning (not brave for sticking with it),  then they are the opposite of brave *for* transitioning because they are being themselves.

You are being too hard on yourselves!

Yes you are just being you self.  Yes it might be as brave as running from a burning  building,  but I imagine if ur in a burning building it takes a certain amount of nerve not to hide at the back but instead to run through the flames.  I know it took an amount of nerve for me to go out the first time, actually it still does. It's not easy to stand in front of friends and family who may cut you off and tell them u are transitioning, it takes nerve not to back out.  Showing a lot of nerve is called being brave.  Sure you may not have had much choice,  but you only find out how strong you are when you *need* to.

We are often brave.  We often have to be.

Steph :-)
X

[Keaira]

I've been called brave many times. Is it brave to stay true to yourself in adversity? sure. But I tell these people that it's bravery born of desperation.  I transitioned because I found myself one day with a knife to my wrist.

[Arch]

It's not egotistical at all to accept a compliment. Actually it is worse not to. When you deny a compliment, you deny the other person's propensity to forward positive energy by returning a dismissive attitude back- rejecting their kindness/effort to bring you to a happier state of mind. When you accept a compliment and show them you appreciate their attention, you are returning the favor of kindness and showing gratitude. It promotes all sorts of good things.

I've received compliments for things I haven't done, and I think it right and proper to deny credit and redirect the positive energy toward the person who did do the praiseworthy accomplishment. To accept a compliment for something someone else did is, to my mind, dishonest and wrong. I've also received undeserved compliments, but I try to take those more gracefully.

[Jennygirl]

I've received compliments for things I haven't done, and I think it right and proper to deny credit and redirect the positive energy toward the person who did do the praiseworthy accomplishment. To accept a compliment for something someone else did is, to my mind, dishonest and wrong. I've also received undeserved compliments, but I try to take those more gracefully.

That is different I agree, I do the same thing when that happens. But when it comes to transitioning or just being trans in general, it is usually the individual that makes the difference- because it is only you who can make the decision to present yourself the way you see fit and "own it". Unless someone takes you on an amazing shopping spree I always give credit to outfits others have helped me with!

[sam79]

Been called "brave" a number of times.

As soon as it's mentioned, I try to point out that I'm not really brave, just got left without a choice. It's either this, or something much, much worse.

[SophiePeters]

I get courageous all the time suppose it's fitting since I continue on despite being scared.   I hate when people tell me I'm so strong that usually gets me riled up pretty good.









Edited for profanity

[StellaB]

I take someone calling me brave as an attempt at showing compassion or support or an acknowledgement that society needs to change.

But just because someone calls me brave doesn't make me brave. I'm just being myself, on a par with everyone else in society.

Just because I don't fit in with someone else's view of what is female isn't being brave. I'm not sure what it is, all I'm sure about is that it's not my problem.

[muuu]

.

[sam79]

Hm... I wonder if I just dislike it because the compliment is about being transsexual.
"You're brave" means they see you as an "other" that is doing something you don't have to do, like coloring your hair. It's out of pity and seeing you as somebody with a lot of difficulties, somebody who may never get an acceptable life, or have a life with severely reduced life quality.
Lots of other compliments are not positive. Like: "You look feminine for a transsexual/guy", they are giving you a compliment, but it's directed the wrong way. They're basically accentuating that you're different, transsexual, an other etc, to the point it's no longer a compliment.
Generally, I think, it's better to not give a compliment to somebody with a "handicap" than to give a compliment that they have heard numerous times and are directed at their "handicap". If you give a compliment it shouldn't be directed to their "handicap", but the compliment should be about something unrelated to it. Because people don't like to have their issues rubbed in their face constantly by others as well.

^^^ Very well said.

[Brooke777]

I get told things like I am brave quite often. I just tell them thank you. Like others have said, it shows they recognize that society has a bleak outlook on transsexualism, and to go against what society deems acceptable is brave. To be your true self, no matter what the cost, no matter what anyone else thinks is a brave thing to do. I also agree with Jenny. Turning away a compliment like that will not help either the giver or the receiver.

[bethany]

Yes I have been told I am brave on a number of occasions. And I actually think that we the trans community are brave. I admire everyone who has the strength to live their lives as they see themselves. I thank those who have paved the way to make transitioning a possability for all of us. And we who are going through it now are hopefully making it easier for those who will follow in our footsteps.

[Tristan]

I get it too but don't really understand why. The only brave thing I do is stuff alone like go to clubs or latitude 30. And use to do ic combat medic. But as far as transitioning I don't get how that makes me brave. So like the rest of you I just smile and say thank you

[Alainaluvsu]

I don't see it as a negative like some of us do though. Maybe some of the people that think we're brave have skeletons in their own closets, and they admire us for living as we see fit, despite what society wants. Also, maybe they don't see us as any less of a woman, they just realize that it takes courage to make the decision to start. I think in a way, it does take courage when you don't understand that it really is a life or death situation.

In an alternative point of view, 40%+ of us just try to kill ourselves... were / are they brave? I don't think so...

[Joanna Dark]

I would just take it as a compliment and move one. Easier said then done, I know. I overanalyze everything. but, still, I think people who say this are generally trying to be nice and supportive and most of us need all the support we can get. Plus, when you assume what they are thinking, you make an ASS out of U and ME hehehehe

[luna]

If you're being called brave in a complimentary manner, just take it for what it is. Most people in any walk of life cannot find the bravery to stand up to the world and be themselves. Those of us able to transition are doing something a lot of cisgender folk have trouble doing every day. We all have different challenges in the world, many people just can't face them... so yes, transition is a brave path in the eyes of many people. Just accept that most people aren't going to understand the intricacies or psychology of that path, take a compliment as a compliment and move on. Telling them you aren't brave probably isn't the best thing to do.

[MadelineB]

Change scares the heck out of most people. They consider it courageous and daring to try a new hairstyle or a whole new look, or to change careers, or to leave a comfortable position or a home town and go out on one's own.

To make any kind of change out of personal conviction, especially in the face of social or emotional or finacial hardship is considered admirable and highly courageous.

I have been told "you are my hero, because if you can chose to live your life, then it gives me hope that i will one day have the strength and courage to make smaller changes in my own life."

I have seen people take inspiration from my embracing of change. To go back to school, to leave a bad relationship, to come out, to enter therapy, to start dating again, to develop a personal style, to change company policies, to reunite with a loved one.

[kathy bottoms]

I've pretty much decided now to take any kind of support from anyone who is actually concerned, and caring.  After all it should be easy to let the word "Brave" go by, and it's far better than the friend who said he could live with my "lifestyle choice".  That one really stopped me cold on the tracks, and the former friend made it worse by arguing that it was a choice. 

Kathy

[Brooke777]

I've pretty much decided now to take any kind of support from anyone who is actually concerned, and caring.  After all it should be easy to let the word "Brave" go by, and it's far better than the friend who said he could live with my "lifestyle choice".  That one really stopped me cold on the tracks, and the former friend made it worse by arguing that it was a choice. 

Kathy

Wait, you made a lifestyle choice? So...do you live in a nudist colony now? 

[Saffron]

If you're still alive and transitioning/ned, then by definition you're brave 

[Tristan]

If you're still alive and transitioning/ned, then by definition you're brave 

I guess your right but I have ninja skills . No one can take me down