post-transition and baby pictures

[savannahbee]

i have never seen a photo of my boyfriend before his transition. he thinks his mom might have gotten rid of all his baby pictures, but even if that's not the case, i'm not sure if he'd show them to me. i have all these framed photos of me as a baby and child, but i don't put them up on the walls because i don't want people to ask why there aren't any of him or for it to remind him that a) his childhood pictures are painful or b) they're not even in existence anymore. i saw a wedding idea once that used pictures of the couple at different ages that corresponded with the table numbers and i thought "oh that's super cute...wait a second we can't do that" and it's not a big deal, but it still made me a little sad.

we don't want kids, but it's always possible that could change, and as a kid i loved looking at my parent's baby pictures. my future-non-existent-children won't have pictures of their dad to giggle at.

anyone else ever think about pictures? for those of you who met their partners post-transition, have you ever seen photos of them before?

[savannahbee]

i hope that she hasn't, for a variety of reasons, but i wouldn't be horribly surprised if she did 

[blueconstancy]

My wife may be unusual, I dunno; she doesn't mind her pre-transition pictures. (Of course, she also considers herself to have genuinely been a man, for a while there, so the pictures are "accurate about the person I was then" she says.) We do have a wedding photo still up in our bedroom, and she has plenty of old pictures lying around. Still, I can totally understand how it'd be awkward and undesirable for someone like your boyfriend.

To be fair, the only early photo in the public part of the house is of the two of us in college - one where people always mistook her for another girl even before.

[savannahbee]

We have a few pictures from when we first dated 10 years ago, before he was on t, but we both look so awful that it was a mutual decision to never show anyone ever 

[Brotherskeeper13]

I've been out as trans for seven years now. My girlfriend and I have been dating for the last two. She's seen all my baby pictures (thanks to my mom) but she still doesn't challenge me to put them around the house. She's supportive of the fact I don't want to share that with everybody and she doesn't pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do. She's extremely supportive of me and her not begging me to put pictures up really makes me feel a lot better.
Also: she does have baby pictures of her EVERYWHERE in the house. Nobody has ever questioned it or anything. It's not a big deal. A lot of even cis gender people don't like their baby pictures.
Hope this helped!

[Ptero]

I think everybody is different but if it can help you to have one more opinion... I didn't transition yet but when I see my childhood pictures it's not really painful. Seeing me in a dress or a skirt (clothes I didn't wear for a least 10 years) is more strange than anything else. I'm more amazed to see that "version" of myself than sad.
You know, it's not because you realize that you are not in the right body and make everything you need to feel yourself that you forget about your life as a "cis considered child". Of course I suppose every trans person has bad memories about the family pressure and so on during childhood. But there are also, I suppose, good family memories. There are even some photos he can like. As an example, I have some baby or child photos where you can't tell if I'm a boy or a girl. And I definitely love them.

And I also like to see old photos of my boy/girlfriends when I have one. Sometimes it makes me think that she/he has been a really better adjusted kid that I could have been but when I look at photos of someone else, I think to them more than to myself

So, if it is important for you to have baby/childhood photos in your house, the first thing to do could be to speak about it with your boyfriend. Perhaps he could surprise you ! (and not only his mother could have these kind of photos. Think about aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, godfathers/mothers and so on. If he wants to have some...)

Oh, and by the way, I never saw any photo of my mom or dad when they where babies.

[TXftmMom]

I'm glad you posted this--it reminded me that I needed to change my FB page photo to one not showing our new son as his former female self.