Therapist and others pushing too hard?

[Antonia J]

So I have been in therapy with a gender counselor since last November.  Until recently I have been going weekly or biweekly, and am now going every three weeks. I am scheduled to meet an endocrinoligist in May to discuss an HRT plan. Here is the thing, my therapist seems to be aggressive on my long term plans and asking/pushing "when are you  planning to transition full time...what is your goal?" I've said several times that I don't know, and want to take this as a journey and see what I am comfortable with.  I just started dressing femme/andro in the last month and have my first  laser session on Monday.

The more I learn, the more I think I may be non-binary, and want to tell my counselor  to back off. I wonder if she is pushing me so hard because of the physical implications of HRT or just that being non binary is beyond her paradigm.  Has anyone else felt transition pressure from your therapist?

[Shantel]

If your therapist believes you're in the binary spectrum, they will likely treat you differently than if you're not. It's important you discuss this with them.

I'm not binary either and I discussed this with my therapist, it changed how our sessions went. Sessions became much more 'open ended' and less 'here's your objective girl'. 

Yes to Kim's advice I'm on the same page! Here's the reality, some therapists can't wrap their head around the concept of anyone presenting other than either full male or full female, in their economy of thinking there is no room for anything else. So you will have to feel your counselor out on that issue and try to discern what her motives are in driving you forward so rapidly. You may have to tell her to back off like you say. There are many people, myself included who are happy living and presenting publicly as an androgynous individual. Long before SRS was even heard of there were plenty of naturally androgynous people on the face of the earth. The counselors and the post-op mean girls society needs to get over it, we don't in any way invalidate them.

[JoanneB]

I've been in therapy and actively working on sorting out who I am for a good three years now. It took well over a year before I started going out presenting as female to more than m TG group meetings. I still have no firm opinion if I need to transition to full-time. HRT and part-time seems to be working. I am still very gainfully employeed. I still have a (little scared) supportive wife.

There is a great old saying my support group members are constantly reminding me of when I start freaking out over the "And now what?" question. "If it's working, don't mess with it"

[Antonia J]

Thanks for the perspective check, everyone!  It's funny, she has generally been pretty good (if I am able to salvage my marriage, she will be singularly responsible for all of the guidance provided). However, I get the sense that she somehow wants me to make a decision on how far I am going to transition. Little questions like "Do you want to be a woman?" or "When do you see yourself going full time?" I have answered "I don't know, and I am going slow - I like the journey, so why worry about the destination?" She made my referral to the University of Michigan gender clinic, and I actually got the same from them during the intake "What is your long term goal?"

It's so funny to me that the so-called professionals want to help me out of the closet by putting me into a box. I have a pretty good stubborn streak, so will push back if I feel it is going in a direction that is faster than I want to go (or am not comfortable going). I just wondered if this is what it was like from the medical/therapy community for others? Like once you come out and seek help, everyone assumes you are ready to begin your RLE and fully transition tomorrow?   

Joanne - it's funny you mention the support group because that along with Susan's Place are the only times where I feel reinforcement that it is okay to go at your own pace, develop your own route, and that being non-binary is not only an option -- but works just fine for a lot of people, and is okay.  Honestly, everyone has been very supportive, but you, Shan, Devlyn, and Cindy have been especially amazing in helping guide me since I joined a month ago. I don't know why you all care so much to help others out, but really glad you do

Anyway, long day and I need my beauty rest. Just wanted to say I really appreciate the insight.

Toni