So much for a parent's unconditional love...

[ZoeM]

*hugz*

That is all.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Anna,

What was your relationship like with your parents before you told them ?

Was it warm/loving ?

Or somewhat strained ?

Do your parents practice a 'religion' ?

That is, is it their religious beliefs that has lead them to reject you ? Fearing they will be shunned by the community if they embrace your decision to transition...

Or is it just plain old ignorance where they've watched one too many Jerry Springer-like shows ?

Metta Zenda

[Anna++]

So yes, walk away. They are being abusive, rude and refusing to accept that you have a validity outside their own. They are basically saying you will never be good enough, so behave.

I can see that, and I hate that I have to agree with it.  I thought they were better people than this.

It truely hurts reading the OPs post, because I have a mom that is so utterly the reverse.

Some of my friends have fake-come out to their parents just to see how their parents would react.  They all got much, much better reactions than my parents gave me and I'm a little jealous.  I'm happy for everybody here who have better parents than I do... do any of you want to adopt me as your sister?

No matter where you go, what you do, you will always have a family here.

Thanks.  I probably wouldn't be doing as well as I am now if I hadn't found this place

This is a very difficult and delicate situation. Parents are parents and often struggle to come to terms with what's going on with sons and daughters. We must try to help them in this and walking away from it is not the answer. That said of course if the parents really do not want to continue a relationship then there is perhaps little to be done.

I'm going to stay open to them coming back into my life, but I'm not going to push for anything if they're not willing to accept me.

*hugz*

That is all.

* hug back *  Thanks   I really needed that.

What was your relationship like with your parents before you told them ?

They were loving and supportive of everything I did.  The day before I came out my mom was talking about the argument she was in with my grandma and she promised me that she would never cut me out the way my grandma did to her.  That conversation gave me the courage to come out, and it hurts that she didn't follow through.

Do your parents practice a 'religion' ?

I don't know about practicing a religion... they say grace before eating dinner and they insist that I was raised methodist but religion rarely comes up (at least around me).  I think my dad is embarrassed to have a trans daughter, which is why he's said he's not proud of me and wants this to just be a phase that I'm going through.  I'm a little embarrassed to have them as parents right now after going through all this.

The funny thing is, I was going to wait until after the family vacation to start HRT that way I didn't have to worry about medications when I'm around them.  Not going on the trip gives me a chance to start sooner.

[Anna++]

  She just linked me to one of those Christian "pray the trans away" sites.  It's not an apology or request for forgiveness, so I'm just going to ignore it and wonder why she can't just accept me for who I am... especially since I see transitioning as a dream come true so being "cured" would ruin that for me!

[Misato]

You clearly care a lot about your parents by your continued efforts to talk to them and your posting of their next aggression here.  It's truly a shame that your care for them seems unrequited.  I want to find a way to take that back and find the silver lining here but... assuming Christian faith, they are not being Christlike in the least.  Really they're using the faith as a proxy to justify their judgments so they ain't you or a church any favors.

I also find I'm left here thinking:  Is this the time when we begin to wonder about if there is something going on in a closet back home at your parents?  Just, how many times with vitriol this strong does it come from someone running from themselves?  I mean not to cast aspersions, only, this reaction seems awful strong.

[Eva Marie]

Maybe i'm wrong, but this seems to smack of manipulation by your parents. I have had similar dealings with my parents (over non-trans related issues). I finally reached a breaking point and I walked away from the relationship but left the door open for the possibility of having a future relationship on MY terms. We did not talk for over a year, but we now have a casual phone relationship and I see them from time to time - but if any BS starts up i'm out the door.

[Anatta]

  She just linked me to one of those Christian "pray the trans away" sites.  It's not an apology or request for forgiveness, so I'm just going to ignore it and wonder why she can't just accept me for who I am... especially since I see transitioning as a dream come true so being "cured" would ruin that for me!

Kia Ora Anna,

Sorry to hear that, but don't give up on her just yet...You could try sending her some positive trans-stories to counter the 'pray the trans away' groups who rely on pseudo-psychology which has been discredited by most mental health professionals...

Metta Zenda

[GendrKweer]

What was your relationship like with your parents before you told them ?

They were loving and supportive of everything I did.  The day before I came out my mom was talking about the argument she was in with my grandma and she promised me that she would never cut me out the way my grandma did to her.  That conversation gave me the courage to come out, and it hurts that she didn't follow through."

Remind her of this.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Anna,

GendrKweer makes a good point...Feed back to her what she said to you...

Metta Zenda

[TerriT]

All love is conditional.

[big kim]

I walked away from my parents for a year after transition,give it time and there's a good chance they'll come round.

[Anna++]

I also find I'm left here thinking:  Is this the time when we begin to wonder about if there is something going on in a closet back home at your parents?  Just, how many times with vitriol this strong does it come from someone running from themselves?  I mean not to cast aspersions, only, this reaction seems awful strong.

There is nothing that I know of, but I guess that is part of it being closeted... but it's worth thinking about.

I'm liking the idea of walking away (at least temporarily) for my own benefit right now.  I'm happier when I don't have to listen to them trying to get me down... I hope they don't corrupt my brother, since he seems to be on my side right now.  Maybe he can help convince them to be more open minded... or at least refund the money I've spent for my vacation plane ticket.