Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

TS Admirers - What makes 'em tick?

Started by HelenW, May 29, 2007, 08:08:20 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

HelenW

I've read about men (and women?) who pursue trans people for relationships, sexual and otherwise, even some who do so exclusively.  I've always wondered if this was urban legend, or if not, what these people are really like and if some of the members here ever had any experiences with admirers they'd be willing to share.

Besides hoping to satisfy my own curiosity, I'd like to get some material I can use in our Wiki.

thnx!
Emelye
FKA: Emelye

Pronouns: she/her

My rarely updated blog: http://emelyes-kitchen.blogspot.com

Southwestern New York trans support: http://www.southerntiertrans.org/
  •  

tinkerbell

Let's just hope it isn't what I am thinking......


tink :icon_chick:
  •  

TheBattler

hmm - we have a ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<- in our town - she has been booted out of our group. I will telll you more about her later - but I do not know what makes her tick.

Alice
  •  

Melissa-kitty

I just know them from a distance, and from other's experiences. Some of them have gender identity issues of their own. Some are seemingly quite hetero, but are males attracted to the femininity of trans-women, as well as some male traits. I bet it's a mixed bag. Like Julia Serano says, TS's are badass!! Why wouldn't we be admired?
:)
Blessings, Tara
  •  

Suze

I've been in a relationship with one (an admirer) for a little over eleven years, since shortly after I transitioned.  We've been married for almost a year.

As to what makes them tick...  There are as many motives as there are admirers.  For my husband, he's attracted to natal women as well as MtF trans people, and feminine guys.  I think when we met, he was attracted to me because I combined female looks with male genitals.

However that doesn't mean he's got a genital fixation, and he was totally supportive about my SRS.  He's atracted to natal women too, after all.

I've seen all sorts of admirers over the years.  Some are slightly scary.  Some have no idea how to relate to people.  Some (many) have gender issues of their own.   Some are pretty nice.  Like people generally.
  •  

Rachael

id say its a closet homosexuality, wanting sex with a 'man' while having female deniablity, both mental, and social...
  •  

Altair

#6
I only know about people who seek mtfs.  There are different types of "Admirers."  Some have gender identity differences of their own and prefer to be with others who they regard as more understanding of their differences.  These people tend to be different than most of the men who are into "->-bleeped-<-" porn or whatever you call it. 

Those type of men are 99% straight.  People like to call them gay or bi, but if you talk to them on a one-on-one level or examine where the porn can be found in a porn store, you will realize that most of them identify as straight.  Now... why would a straight man desire a woman with male genitalia?  There are many different reasons. 

For one, men tend to associate their manhoods with lust, power, and other positive characteristics.  A woman who has male genitalia is thought to have these traits which they (mistakenly) think can only be found in the male domain.  I have a transwoman friend who worked as a[n online sex worker] on the web and she said that most of her clients IDed as straight men and wished to be dommed by her.  They saw her [penis] as a source of power. 

Other men assume that a woman with a cock would be lustful like a man and not have the hangups that most cisgendered women have about sex due to their oppressed upbringing.  I've noticed that most of my tswomen friends are more open to trying out new things sexually or are willing to do things that their counterparts won't.  I talked to one male admirer about this and he said that this was why he preferred transwomen. 

There's also the fact that vaginas can be confusing and scary for some straight men.  Have you ever heard of vagina dentata?  It's a myth about a vagina with teeth.  As for confusing, most men don't have vaginas to practice on and many women don't tell men what to do in bed so some guys feel hopeless when they encounter them in real life.  They have [penises] and they figure they know how to please a person with a [penis] (since they can please themselves) so they prefer women with [penises].

I'm sure there are other reasons I haven't mentioned, but these are the ones I have observed and confirmed.
  •  

Kate

Which way do admirers tend to go?

That is, do they like to be the "aggressor" and take the TS, or do they like being "taken" by the TS?

(sorry, I gotta be careful to not be explicit as this isn't the sexuality forum)

~Kate~
  •  

seldom

Well I would like to throw out the ->-bleeped-<-s who are in fact TS.  Generally speaking TS who seek out other TS, be it transwomen who chase transmen, or transwomen who seek out other transwomen, do so because they are seeking out somebody who shares similiar experiences and understands their issues on some level. 

The other ->-bleeped-<-s...the scary creepy straight guys.  Who knows what makes them tick.  I do know I don't like them because they tend to objectify transwomen in the worst sense. 

The women who chase...umm don't know exactly. 
  •  

Altair

#9
Depends on them.  I've seen some that like to take and some that like to be taken.  From reading the forums where ones who like to be taken hang out and talking to some of them, the vast majority of them still ID as straight and consider transgirls to be women.  One of them described transwomen to me as "beautiful women with an extra special part."  I think the common misconception that most of these men are gay or bi originally steams from the misconception that tswomen are gays who went "too far."  You know, it used to be that they would "treat" gay men by giving them female hormones.  It was very barbaric and we lost one of the greatest minds of our time to forced hormone therapy.
  •  

togetherwecan

My attraction and love for Brooke has zero to do with TS.
  •  

LostInTime

I've seen transfans before and they can be a scary bunch. I avoid them like the plague. For what motivates them? I have no idea although most seem to be primarily concerned with sex.
  •  

cindianna_jones

I think that the apparent strangeness of the situation is a real mind bender.  That in itself can be erotic.

Cindi
  •  

RebeccaFog

Quote from: Cindi Jones on May 30, 2007, 03:20:43 PM
I think that the apparent strangeness of the situation is a real mind bender.  That in itself can be erotic.

Cindi

yeah. I go with this one. Also, I think it presents an opportunity to get around the taboo of sex with other men because the outer packaging is different.
  •  

Doc

I've never encountered a '->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-' who seeks out MtFs. I suspect that they are like 'chubby-->-bleeped-<-s.' I am a chubby-admirer, too married to do the actual chasing. I like big women because they are usually lively and full of fun with a vitality and beauty that is disconnected from vanity and pretension, they often have wonderful skin and great breasts, and they feel great in bed. I have a bio-male friend who feels the same way. There are a thousand valid reasons a big strong soft girl who can and will carry a beer in her cleavage makes us drool. BUT we don't like other chubby-->-bleeped-<-s, because most of them are not like us. They don't really admire big women, they just want sex and they think that big women are lonely and desperate and will roll over and spread their legs for any lame-o who flatters them. They're guys who don't have the balls to seek women they genuinely find attractive, and they think so little of big women that they feel it's okay to manipulate and abuse them.

Probably there are '->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s' who see characteristics in transwomen that are deeply appealling for relationships and for sex. Transwomen are great. And there are probably '->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s' who see a weakness they can take advantage of. The first type is a great partner, the second a dead-end and a jerk.

The FtM ->-bleeped-<-s I've met have been bisexual people. They've said they're looking for 'guys with pies' and seem to be utterly honest about that -- they want relationships, they like to play with a vagina, but they find that they feel closer and better connected to people with 'guy' personalities and that partnerships with 'girl' personalities don't work well for them.
  •  

Suzy

I've had a guy who saw my pics on a site and has been chasing me.  Thing is, I know who he is.  We used to hang around some together way back in the day.  He has no idea who I am, though.  But never would have expected it from this guy.  What makes him tick?  I think the forbidden nature of TS in general.  But just a guess.

Kristi
  •  

Rachael

topic wins official : weird topic award.
\o/\o/\o/
  •  

Tak

Having only encountered one, I can only describe him one way. Obsessive and creepy.

I'm openly submissive and outwardly frail... plus my femininity is obvious even pre-transition. He's masculine and geeky. An engineering student to boot! He's openly bisexual, so there wasn't some closet desire to have penis without accountability.

At any rate, he'd follow me around, nigh-stalker like, and even though I was still technically married (still technically am for 7 more days...) he'd try and get me in bed. But I was afraid of him because he'd never let up and let me think -- so I couldn't let it go anywhere. Ideally he'd probably have been the perfect man for me, as he actually liked my insane eccentricities and had no problem with my identity, but he had this habit of always reminding me that I've got a dick and that he could have any "real" woman any time he wanted. Kind of control-freaky, if you ask me. Like one of those guys that's good-looking and well-built that dates an overweight woman so he can insult and control her. That's just how he came across.

After he was gone (he just... disappeared, it was bizarre) I found out through some of his friends that he's done the same thing with other transwomen, and he found someone in GA that was more receptive.
  •  

buddJT

it is all about sex and nothing else.  A ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- is someone who themselves have a repressed sexual fantasies of being in a submissive role, at least 90% are that way.  This will allow them to think of themselves being on the recieving end from a woman with "somehting extra" allowing them to think they are having a sexual relation with a woman instead of a guy.  In there head this would be considered okay so long as it is not with a genetic male but someone that is mtof.
  •  

togetherwecan

Maybe we should define just what this *->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-* person is...

I am in love with a transsexual, I did not know in advance that she was a transsexual, my desire for her is the same as before I knew. Would I be with another transsexual in the future? Who knows. It wouldn't be like I was specifically looking for one. People are people, right?
Can a person desire another person with honest intent and feeling without it being labeled as something else?
  •