Transitioning\Passing Question

[EmilyMI]

I am not living full-time yet, and honestly I do not think that I will be able to go full-time until I have my FFS procedure (which is still in question on when this will happen?) but is that really out of the ordinary to go full-time after FFS?

[Heather]

Emily I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go full time. When you feel comfortable enough to go full time should be the only thing that matters.

[EmilyMI]

Emily I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go full time. When you feel comfortable enough to go full time should be the only thing that matters.

That is kind of what I was figuring, but when I talk with others they are surprised when I tell them that I am not FT yet and even more surprised to hear that I won't be going FT until after my FFS is done. 

[Heather]

I still haven't figured out when I'm going to go full time. I think I'll wait till I'm getting called mam when I'm dressed as a man. Then I will know its time! If the people you know are shocked your not full time maybe you should give it some consideration. But only if you feel comfortable with it

[EmilyMI]

I still haven't figured out when I'm going to go full time. I think I'll wait till I'm getting called mam when I'm dressed as a man. Then I will know its time! If the people you know are shocked your not full time maybe you should give it some consideration. But only if you feel comfortable with it

I have been on HRT for 3+ years and I know that there is no timeframe but that does seem long though I think.  Friends shocked that I am not full-time but of course people who do not know about me never really say anything? mostly because (from how I see it) that I don't pass yet.  I do not get called Ma'am by mistake when I am out as a guy which, to me, is an indication that I am not ready for full-time yet.

[Heather]

I have been on HRT for 3+ years and I know that there is no timeframe but that does seem long though I think.  Friends shocked that I am not full-time but of course people who do not know about me never really say anything? mostly because (from how I see it) that I don't pass yet.  I do not get called Ma'am by mistake when I am out as a guy which, to me, is an indication that I am not ready for full-time yet.

That might not be an indication of how well you pass looks wise. You have to look at the way your walking talking and all the other mannerisms that are very important to passing!

[Tristan]

I agree there's no right or wrong time to go full time. I planned on going full time six months after ffs but due to getting ms all the time after it decided to go full time right away. You just go with your flow. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable is the time you should try to go full time. Your absolutely darling by the way

[JoanneB]

I've seen a lot of changes in the past 40 years. Lately there is this prevailing mythology that before you can even think of going full-time you MUST do A - B - C - D etc.. Nothing can be left out. It is like the only way possible. Not at all what many TSs I knew in the the 70's could even dream of doing. All this technology is just a tool to make doing the work easier.

The only criteria for going full-time I can imagine is "When you want to, or need to" Anything else is just gravy. Plenty of TSs have forged ahead with doing nothing more than just presenting as female. No HRT, no FFS, no electrolysis, no voice coaching, no years or months of therap, et al.

Yes, all these things can help in passing. But if the time comes when you need to, it makes no sense to wait and live a miserable life, that is if you choose the latter, living.

[Rowan Rue]

This is definitely something everyone has to answer for themselves and recognize that there is no one right answer.
I'm a little curious as to why you say you couldn't go full time until after FFS. 
The reasons that people will gender you one way or the other can be very confusing.  Just because you don't get gendered female when presenting male doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't pass as female without FFS.
I was still getting consistently gendered male until about three weeks ago when, like a switch, everything reversed.  I honestly have no idea what I started doing differently in that time but whatever it was it's made all the difference.  Even kids don't seem to read me anymore.
Do you always tend to present male in public?  If not, how do people gender you when you present female?

[EmilyMI]

This is definitely something everyone has to answer for themselves and recognize that there is no one right answer.
I'm a little curious as to why you say you couldn't go full time until after FFS. 
The reasons that people will gender you one way or the other can be very confusing.  Just because you don't get gendered female when presenting male doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't pass as female without FFS.
I was still getting consistently gendered male until about three weeks ago when, like a switch, everything reversed.  I honestly have no idea what I started doing differently in that time but whatever it was it's made all the difference.  Even kids don't seem to read me anymore.
Do you always tend to present male in public?  If not, how do people gender you when you present female?

Currently I do present as male in public.  A few weeks ago a friend of mine convinced me to go out as Emily for the first time, and go shopping with her, so I did and of course I was very nervous at first.  I always get some looks when I present as male so I try not to pay attention too much if I get looks still anymore.  About an hour into just shopping About an hour into it these Woman were kind of following me and that friend of mine around and were making some incredibly hurtful remarks.  Even my friend was amazed by what they said, she tried to stand up for me but by then I was in tears and just wanted to go home.  The rest of the night I just cried and was made to feel like the most worthless piece of garbage.  I always have had body dysphoria issues, but since then my self-confidence is all but shattered. 

[suzifrommd]

About an hour into it these Woman were kind of following me and that friend of mine around and were making some incredibly hurtful remarks.  Even my friend was amazed by what they said, she tried to stand up for me but by then I was in tears and just wanted to go home.  The rest of the night I just cried and was made to feel like the most worthless piece of garbage.  I always have had body dysphoria issues, but since then my self-confidence is all but shattered.

Oh sweetie, this sound like a very painful experience. I want to send you a hug.

Please don't let the reaction of some ignorant, stupid, nasty strangers define you.

You're a beautiful, sensitive woman, and deserve respect and admiration.

The problem is with them and not you. Please remember that.

[Silvrnite]

They are all right. Timing is all up to you. ive been on HRT for ... what about a year now. but i was living full time for years before i ever went to a doctor or therapist for anything. i love makeup =D lol. so. yeah its all up to the individual and how they feel.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Emily, I will tell you when the right time to go full time.

When you decide it is time.

[EmilyMI]

Emily, I will tell you when the right time to go full time.

When you decide it is time.

Its hard to feel anything right now especially after what transpired a few weeks ago, honestly I have not even been dressed at home at all after this happened. 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I always look at those comments like this.  Do they put food on my table?  Do they pay my rent?  Then what do I care what they have to say?

[EmilyMI]

I always look at those comments like this.  Do they put food on my table?  Do they pay my rent?  Then what do I care what they have to say?

Normally I have a very thick skin.  I was always teased relentlessly in my youth so for the most I can ignore it,  but what was said to me was just horrible and shows how incredibly mean and evil some people can be.  I have always been emotional, even more so since taking HRT so a lot more effects me now than before. 

[EmilyMI]

Oh sweetie, this sound like a very painful experience. I want to send you a hug.

Please don't let the reaction of some ignorant, stupid, nasty strangers define you.

You're a beautiful, sensitive woman, and deserve respect and admiration.

The problem is with them and not you. Please remember that.

Awww thanks girl! /Hugs

[Rowan Rue]

....these Woman were kind of following me and that friend of mine around and were making some incredibly hurtful remarks.....

Urgh, I'm so sorry.  I forget just how good my part of the world is.  I've had so few issues that it's easy to forget how much some people suck.

[EmilyMI]

Urgh, I'm so sorry.  I forget just how good my part of the world is.  I've had so few issues that it's easy to forget how much some people suck.

A friend of mine (the one who went out with me on that shopping trip) thought I was putting negative energy out; which could have been the reason why I was clocked.

[ZoeM]

Normally I have a very thick skin.  I was always teased relentlessly in my youth so for the most I can ignore it,  but what was said to me was just horrible and shows how incredibly mean and evil some people can be.  I have always been emotional, even more so since taking HRT so a lot more effects me now than before.

They don't know you. They see only with their eyes, and understand the less for it.


I'm sorry you went through that, though. Most people are jerks to someone - and it's never nice being that someone. Take heart - in time you will be objectively beautiful inside and out; the same may not be said of them.