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Hi from Alsace France

Started by Donna Elvira, April 11, 2013, 04:01:14 PM

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Donna Elvira

Quote from: Ciara on May 06, 2013, 06:25:46 PM
Hi Donna,
Your story really offers me hope. I'm a little scared right now.
Thank you.

Love,
Ciara

Hi Ciara,
Thanks for your kind message. Do you mind me asking what you are scared of?
Warm regards.
Donna
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Ciara

Hi Donna,
What am I scared of.......?
Well I am 54 years old. I am from Ireland. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 27 years. We have two children in their 20's. I love them all dearly.
I have lived my life as a man secretly wishing to be a woman. I have had a normal life until six weeks ago when an incident made me realise and recognise that I have been a girl all my life but living as a man and not the other way around. This was unexpected and has brought great joy to my life. For the first time I feel in my heart that I am a beautiful and loving girl. Many of the stresses that I have carried are gone. I feel that I am closer to my wife, family and friends all the more as a girl.
What scares me is that I now don't know where this will bring me and I don't  know where I want it to bring me. What will it do to my relationship with my wife, family, friends, work colleagues if I share this.
I'm afraid that this beautiful experience may come at a price.
I don't expect that you will have answers to my fears but I do thank you for your concern.
I will have to take this one step at a time. Becoming a member at Susan's was a big step. Sharing with you (and whoever else may read this) has been another big step. I will eventually decide where I go. Wherever that will be I know that I will be a happier person knowing my true gender as a girl.
By the way, you look wonderful in your photograph.

Thank you.

Love,
Ciara.
I don't have a gender issue.
I love being a girl.



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Donna Elvira

Quote from: Ciara on May 07, 2013, 12:57:24 PM
Hi Donna,
What am I scared of.......?
Well I am 54 years old. I am from Ireland. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 27 years. We have two children in their 20's. I love them all dearly.
I have lived my life as a man secretly wishing to be a woman. I have had a normal life until six weeks ago when an incident made me realise and recognise that I have been a girl all my life but living as a man and not the other way around. This was unexpected and has brought great joy to my life. For the first time I feel in my heart that I am a beautiful and loving girl. Many of the stresses that I have carried are gone. I feel that I am closer to my wife, family and friends all the more as a girl.
What scares me is that I now don't know where this will bring me and I don't  know where I want it to bring me. What will it do to my relationship with my wife, family, friends, work colleagues if I share this.
I'm afraid that this beautiful experience may come at a price.
I don't expect that you will have answers to my fears but I do thank you for your concern.
I will have to take this one step at a time. Becoming a member at Susan's was a big step. Sharing with you (and whoever else may read this) has been another big step. I will eventually decide where I go. Wherever that will be I know that I will be a happier person knowing my true gender as a girl.
By the way, you look wonderful in your photograph.

Thank you.

Love,
Ciara.

Hi Ciara,
Your message looks a little like your introduction and thank you for sharing all of that. As it happens, I am also from Ireland, the west,  but left a long, long time time ago.

I must admit to being curious about your apparently sudden evolution from "secretly wishing to be a woman" to the realization that you "have been a been a girl" all your life. However, it probably doesn't make much difference at the end of the day as your real issue right now  is indeed to understand where you want to take it from here.

Given your age, family situation etc.., I would strongly suggest you give yourself plenty of time to think before doing or saying things you might regret and if you can find a professional therapist you can talk to, you would proabably be doing yourself at great service by using such a third party to help you fully understand where you stand.

Looking at all the different discussion threads here can also provide a lot of insights, both in understanding your own feelings and getting ideas on how to cope with all the practical issues that crop up if and when you decide to come out.

If you do decide to move towards openly assuming your identity it also needs to be seriously thought out. When you are well established in life with lots of links and connections to others, all of whom have always known you for forever under a male identity, re-positioning yourself socially is a pretty complex endeavor. I guess what I am saying is that I have already seen quite a few people at our age experience their inner revelation and, feeling the need to act on it immediately, make some poorly thought out decisions which took them to some very difficult places.

However, none of this means it's impossible. People have generally become far more understanding and accepting about this subject and there are enough of us who have already gone through the hoops or who are already well advanced on their journey to know that it can be done.

Anyway, you will be able to avail of terrific resources here and you will quickly understand that there is no single right answer. Each one of us has found his/her own path depending on his/her unique individual circomstances.
Slan leat and wishing you all the best.
Donna

P.S. Thank you for the compliment on the photo but be aware that getting that getting there has been a pretty big  undertaking; 2 long operations already and a 3rd (shorter) still to come, considerable expense plus long periods of recovery following the surgery.
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Ciara

Hi Donna,
I'm sorry if I was long winded but I think that once I started talking I couldn't stop. My evolution was not as sudden as it sounds but I'll save that for my introduction.
Meanwhile, thank you for your very good advice.
Go raibh maith agat!

Love,

Ciara
I don't have a gender issue.
I love being a girl.



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Donna Elvira

Hi Ciara,
There was no irony whatsoever intended in my response to your message. On the contrary, before answering, I had simply looked around to see if you had written an introduction. Since you hadn't, your message was actually very useful to understand your present situation and in no way did I find it longwinded.
Apart from that, I sent you a PM earlier today with some information which will hopefully help you with some of the questions you may or may not be already asking yourself.
Take care.
Donna
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Ciara

Hi Donna,
You are so kind. Thank you for your reply and PM. I will reply to your PM but it may be a few days before I have some private time at the kayboard.
Meanwhile, thank you so much for your kindness, your friendship and your support.
Love,
Ciare
I don't have a gender issue.
I love being a girl.



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Donna Elvira

Very happy to announce that my first grandchild was born today, a little girl, Ciara, and everyone, mother, child and father came through fine.
I would never have imagined the strenght of the emotion I felt on hearing the news, especially given that it wasn't exactly as surprise... :) I was in the middle of a meeting at work when the news came through but still coudn't keep back the tears.
Vive la vie!
Donna
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NotThereYet

Congratulations, Grandma!!!!

:-) Vive les enfants!
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Ciara

Hi Donna,
Congratulations. That is fantastic news for you all.
I'm thrilled for you and I just love her name!!!!  :)

Love,
Ciara
I don't have a gender issue.
I love being a girl.



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Donna Elvira

Quote from: Ciara on June 12, 2013, 03:41:37 PM
Hi Donna,
Congratulations. That is fantastic news for you all.
I'm thrilled for you and I just love her name!!!!  :)

Love,
Ciara

Strange, but I sort of guessed that you, above all people, would like the name. :)
Love
Donna
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Shantel

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 12, 2013, 03:16:39 PM
Very happy to announce that my first grandchild was born today, a little girl, Ciara, and everyone, mother, child and father came through fine.
I would never have imagined the strenght of the emotion I felt on hearing the news, especially given that it wasn't exactly as surprise... :) I was in the middle of a meeting at work when the news came through but still coudn't keep back the tears.
Vive la vie!
Donna

Congratulations, being a grandparent is wonderful! I had a love/hate relationship with my own kids, my beautiful granddaughter has been my reprieve and a blessing in my life. I'm sure you will be able to relate before long. My best always, Shantel
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angelats

Welcome Donna Elvira,

i enjoy reading your posts, because i always can learn from them.
I lived from 1986 to 1998 in Freiburg. In this time i often visited Alsace, France.
Wonderful Place with wonderful people.

I remember driving with a friend by car to Colmar every week to buy a carton of cigarettes.
Gitanes. We sat then in a coffee restaurant, eating croissants and drinking coffee.

I visited a few times Strasbourg with friends or family.

In Freiburg i had around the 1995 my coming out in the local transgender group.
Helped me a lot.

I also like Irish literature a lot. I grew up with James Joyce. And now do read Samuel Beckett.

Best wishes.
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Donna Elvira

Quote from: angelats on June 12, 2013, 06:41:53 PM
Welcome Donna Elvira,

i enjoy reading your posts, because i always can learn from them.
I lived from 1986 to 1998 in Freiburg. In this time i often visited Alsace, France.
Wonderful Place with wonderful people.

I remember driving with a friend by car to Colmar every week to buy a carton of cigarettes.
Gitanes. We sat then in a coffee restaurant, eating croissants and drinking coffee.

I visited a few times Strasbourg with friends or family.

In Freiburg i had around the 1995 my coming out in the local transgender group.
Helped me a lot.

I also like Irish literature a lot. I grew up with James Joyce. And now do read Samuel Beckett.

Best wishes.

Hi there,
I assume you are speaking about Freiburg im Breisgau, also a very nice city in a very nice region? I actually have a TG friend there, an professor at the local university. She completely transitioned in her early twenties, detransitioned in her early thirties long enough to conceive a child and has since retranstitioned, this time probably for good. A very interesting story from a very interesting person. Reading some of your posts on other threads, it sounds like things are not exactly black and white for you either... :)

If you are still interested in James Joyce, you will know that this Sunday (16 June) is Bloomsday, and here in Strasbourg, a city of high culture n'est-ce pas, we celebrate Bloomsday with readings from Joyce's books and a bit of a party with an "enlarged" Irish community. If you are anywhere near Strasbourg, it's all happening at the Dubliner's pub, starting 12h00 on Sunday.

Warm regards.
Donna
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Donna Elvira

Quote from: Shantel on June 12, 2013, 04:49:12 PM
Congratulations, being a grandparent is wonderful! I had a love/hate relationship with my own kids, my beautiful granddaughter has been my reprieve and a blessing in my life. I'm sure you will be able to relate before long. My best always, Shantel

Thank you Shan, and others. Unfortunately my daughter lives a two hour drive from me but I expect she whill still be seeing more of me in the months ahead than previously. I'm a little surprised at my own reaction but I really can't wait to see the baby.
Warm regards.
Donna
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angelats

Thank You So Much For Your Friendly Reply!#

"I assume you are speaking about Freiburg im Breisgau..."
Yes

"I actually have a TG friend there, an professor at the local university. She completely transitioned in her early twenties, detransitioned in her early thirties long enough to conceive a child and has since retranstitioned, this time probably for good. A very interesting story from a very interesting person."

I remember a person, just starting transition in the TG support group, who was a kind of professor.
I doubt its the same person. I can't hardly remember, it was about 20 years ago. I have seen her only once or twice. But i doubt its the same person. A small petite mtf woman. And i do not remember she transitioned in her early twenties and detransitioned and retransitioned.
so, i guess we know different persons.

"Reading some of your posts on other threads, it sounds like things are not exactly black and white for you either... :)

I see human living as an expression of human freedom. And we all are born into bondage.
The whole gender spectrum and sex spectrum shows us the variety that exists in nature and civilization.
You have to find your place, to be in the world, to struggle with finances, family, friends, lovers,
with your body, with your mind and soul. And you have to realize freedom, love and happiness.
Its definitely not easy. But it teaches you a lot about life and what it means to be human,
learning to love and to understand.

I had and still have experiences that let me think about every day life and what people take for granted. what is familiar is often not recognized.
So many think, its clear and evident what a female person is or a male. For me this is not the case. I am still learning and trying to understand.

"If you are still interested in James Joyce, you will know that this Sunday (16 June) is Bloomsday, and here in Strasbourg, a city of high culture n'est-ce pas, we celebrate Bloomsday with readings from Joyce's books and a bit of a party with an "enlarged" Irish community. If you are anywhere near Strasbourg, it's all happening at the Dubliner's pub, starting 12h00 on Sunday."

Thank you for your wonderful advice. Sadly i am not near Strasbourg on Bloomsday, but i will celebrate Bloomsday in Berlin. Thank you very much for this wonderful idea.
I have been sometimes in the Irish Pubs in Freiburg. I like Guinness.
I even drink Jameson whiskey after i have read that Samuel Beckett used to drink it.
I tried to understand irish history and society while reading Joyce and Beckett.
Joyce and Beckett were exiles. Quite difficult to understand.

Warm regards
Angelats


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Donna Elvira

Quote from: angelats on June 13, 2013, 10:37:14 AM
"If you are still interested in James Joyce, you will know that this Sunday (16 June) is Bloomsday, and here in Strasbourg, a city of high culture n'est-ce pas, we celebrate Bloomsday with readings from Joyce's books and a bit of a party with an "enlarged" Irish community. If you are anywhere near Strasbourg, it's all happening at the Dubliner's pub, starting 12h00 on Sunday."

Thank you for your wonderful advice. Sadly i am not near Strasbourg on Bloomsday, but i will celebrate Bloomsday in Berlin. Thank you very much for this wonderful idea.

Hi again Angelats,
Habe ich etwas fur Bloomsday in Berlin gefunden:

Am Sonntag, den 16.Juni wird im historischen Hotel Bogota der Bloomsday gefeiert! Es wird gelesen, gesungen, gefeiert!

Hope you enjoy!
Donna
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NotThereYet

@Angelats
In BaWü bist du, gell? In Freiburg in Üechtland spricht man eher Französisch, oder?

LG,
Andrea

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angelats

Quote from: NotThereYet on June 13, 2013, 05:22:02 PM
@Angelats
In BaWü bist du, gell? In Freiburg in Üechtland spricht man eher Französisch, oder?

LG,
Andrea

@NotThereYet
erst mal danke für Deine Frage.
Ich war von 1986 bis 1998 in Freiburg im Breisgau,  Baden-Württemberg.
Meines Wissens hast Du natürlich recht, daß im Üechtland eher Französisch gesprochen wird.

Ich bin erstaunt zum einen über Deine ausgezeichneten Deutschkenntnisse. Zum anderen über Deine Ortskenntnisse.

Ich bin aufgewachsen in Bayern, aber lebe nun seit 1998 in Berlin.

LG

Angelats
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NotThereYet

Quote from: angelats on June 13, 2013, 06:53:11 PM
@NotThereYet
erst mal danke für Deine Frage.
Ich war von 1986 bis 1998 in Freiburg im Breisgau,  Baden-Württemberg.
Meines Wissens hast Du natürlich recht, daß im Üechtland eher Französisch gesprochen wird.

Ich bin erstaunt zum einen über Deine ausgezeichneten Deutschkenntnisse. Zum anderen über Deine Ortskenntnisse.

Ich bin aufgewachsen in Bayern, aber lebe nun seit 1998 in Berlin.

LG

Angelats

Berlin, Berlin, wir fahren nach Berlin!!! :-)
Und wie gefällt dir das Leben in der drittgrößten Türkischen Stadt? hihihi

Ach ... Berlin... Das Reichstagsgebäude, Karl Marx Allee, Unter den Linden Straße, Bahnhof Zoo... Leider war ich noch nicht da... Eines Tages, vielleicht... Werden mal sehen...

Also, in Bayern aufgewachsen (Nicht Oberbayern, gell???), 12 Jahre in BaWü, und nun seit 1998 in Berlin... Ne Welt Vagabundin bist du!!!! :-)  Du musst ja sehr stark sein, in so ner Großstadt wie Berlin würde ich nicht mal ein ganzes Jahr überleben, viel zu groß und chaotisch, und so, also Respekt!! Sag mal, was hat dich nach Berlin verschlagen wenn man fragen darf?

Bis denne,
Andrea
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Donna Elvira

Quote from: NotThereYet on June 14, 2013, 01:27:14 AM
Berlin, Berlin, wir fahren nach Berlin!!! :-)
Und wie gefällt dir das Leben in der drittgrößten Türkischen Stadt? hihihi

Ach ... Berlin... Das Reichstagsgebäude, Karl Marx Allee, Unter den Linden Straße, Bahnhof Zoo... Leider war ich noch nicht da... Eines Tages, vielleicht... Werden mal sehen...

Also, in Bayern aufgewachsen (Nicht Oberbayern, gell???), 12 Jahre in BaWü, und nun seit 1998 in Berlin... Ne Welt Vagabundin bist du!!!! :-)  Du musst ja sehr stark sein, in so ner Großstadt wie Berlin würde ich nicht mal ein ganzes Jahr überleben, viel zu groß und chaotisch, und so, also Respekt!! Sag mal, was hat dich nach Berlin verschlagen wenn man fragen darf?

Bis denne,
Andrea

Ich freuhe mich sehr beinahe alles hier zu verstehen. Schreiben und sprechen is schwerer fur mich weil ich spreche meistens English und Franzosich. Jedoch, eine Frage habe ich nach diese Lesen. Hast du denn etwas gegen die Turken?  :)  Ebenfalls, wohin kommst du, eine ganz kleine Stadt?
Viele Grusse.
Donna
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