I am consistently read as female...passing tips, anyone?

[weathered-tome]

Hello everyone,

I am 18 years old and designated female at birth. I identify as neutrois.

I prefer to be perceived as male rather than female, even though neither of those labels apply to me. Being read as male half the time and female half the time would also be acceptable. As it is, I am almost never read as male. I'm just getting very frustrated, constantly being called "miss" and "ma'am."

I have a skinny neck but I have broad shoulders. I am flat chested and I bind. I am 5'4" and fairly skinny. My body shape is decently masculine, so it must be my face that betrays me. Here's a photograph, if that might help: http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa249/Crescent_Wolven/Photoon2013-04-16at1656_zpsc01f2e41.jpg

If anyone has any tips for passing as male I would appreciate it. I'm willing to shave my hair off completely if that'll help. I'm hesitant to take out my piercings, though--I really like them, even if they do probably hinder my passing somewhat.

[Jamie D]

Hi, weathered-tome, and welcome to Susan's.  Looking at your picture, you do have a female-ish presentation, on first impression.

I'm not sure piercing are gendered one way or the other.  Haircut might be considered.  And, of course, how you dress can influence passing.

You might want to look over some similar topics in the FtM transsexual talk board and the Androgyne talk board.  Our non-binary members have some great discussions, and there is an androgynous style board too.

[weathered-tome]

Hi, weathered-tome, and welcome to Susan's.  Looking at your picture, you do have a female-ish presentation, on first impression.

I'm not sure piercing are gendered one way or the other.  Haircut might be considered.  And, of course, how you dress can influence passing.

You might want to look over some similar topics in the FtM transsexual talk board and the Androgyne talk board.  Our non-binary members have some great discussions, and there is an androgynous style board too.

Hi, thanks for responding!

I always dress masculinely (t-shirts or button up shirts, loose fitting jeans, etc) and I've read tons of FTM passing tips on this site and elsewhere. What about my presentation seems female? I think it's just the shape of my face...I'm not sure which haircut will be best for minimizing my feminine features.

[Kelly J. P.]

If anyone has any tips for passing as male I would appreciate it. I'm willing to shave my hair off completely if that'll help. I'm hesitant to take out my piercings, though--I really like them, even if they do probably hinder my passing somewhat.

Well, cutting it short would help, and going without piercings probably would too, but you seem to have kind of a soft face, and it's a bit round - also, your nose seems very feminine. Putting on some more muscle will definitely help.

Your height isn't helping, but there are many guys/male-bodies 5'4" and under (including myself), so it's not as bad as some people may say. There are shoes to help with this problem if you're really picky, but having a "tall attitude" will go further than a pair of elevated shoes.

[peky]

Your face has a lot of potential: your lips are thin and your jaw is trong.

Loose the earriings, get your hair cut by a barber so it shows your forhead, its short in the sides and back. Make sure the back is cut squared. Get a tan.


Now, how about the rest of your body? picture?

[Joanna Dark]

The key is a facial hair. I don't know if you're planning on taking T or not but I think this would help a lot. Also, like others have said, cutting the hair would help. Since you like your plugs, I would suggest going bigger, as guys usually have ones that are quite large and take pride in it. Oh and I agree that putting on muscle would go a long way as well.

[spacial]

To add to some others. loose the earrings and cut your hair short.

But to be honest, as for your shape, you're fine.

Some T will help enormously. You get advice on that in the FtM section. But basically, you have to do that under medical supervision.

While I understand Julie's point, I have to say you have a nice face and it could easily be a nice boys face as a girl.

But the work starts and few who do it will claim it was easy. Though I think all will tell you, the best things come with hard work.

[weathered-tome]

Your height isn't helping, but there are many guys/male-bodies 5'4" and under (including myself), so it's not as bad as some people may say. There are shoes to help with this problem if you're really picky, but having a "tall attitude" will go further than a pair of elevated shoes.

Thank you. I plan on getting some inserts for my shoes that should add little under two inches.

Your face has a lot of potential: your lips are thin and your jaw is trong.

Loose the earriings, get your hair cut by a barber so it shows your forhead, its short in the sides and back. Make sure the back is cut squared. Get a tan.


Now, how about the rest of your body? picture?

I will get my hair cut as suggested, I figured that would help a lot. My mother nearly faints every time I cut it shorter, though--that's the only reason why I hesitate. When I'm out at college I plan to shave it all off.

I've put on some more muscle since then but here's a picture of the rest of me: http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa249/Crescent_Wolven/Photoon2013-02-11at1611_zps19a1b432.jpg

The key is a facial hair. I don't know if you're planning on taking T or not but I think this would help a lot. Also, like others have said, cutting the hair would help. Since you like your plugs, I would suggest going bigger, as guys usually have ones that are quite large and take pride in it. Oh and I agree that putting on muscle would go a long way as well.

I'm planning on top surgery but I'm not sure about T. I'll consider the plugs thing, thanks! I'm also working out a lot so hopefully that will go a long way.

To add to some others. loose the earrings and cut your hair short.

But to be honest, as for your shape, you're fine.

Some T will help enormously. You get advice on that in the FtM section. But basically, you have to do that under medical supervision.

While I understand Julie's point, I have to say you have a nice face and it could easily be a nice boys face as a girl.

But the work starts and few who do it will claim it was easy. Though I think all will tell you, the best things come with hard work.

Thank you. I should have probably posted in the FtM section but I wasn't sure how--I'll be sure to figure that out for next time.

[spacial]

Thank you. I should have probably posted in the FtM section but I wasn't sure how--I'll be sure to figure that out for next time.

It's a bit agonising to say it. The last thing anyone wants to to shove some people into categories.

It's just that FtM people have a number of specific problems and that particular section seems to be a positive gold mine of resources, solutions and support.

But I really believe, with a little work, you'll pass just fine.

[aleon515]

Yeah I'd suggest that you come on over to the ftm subforum. Several people there are more transmasculine than male. We won't bite.

I'd agree with the earrings (I think *one* earring is more easy to wear as male). Yeah yeah males can have long hair and earrings and so on, but if you are trying to pass you have to think of if the thing you are wearing adds or subtracts to your look of the feminine and you have to lose the stuff that makes you look feminine. You might decide that it doesn't at all matter or you like X better than being read as male. But you are asking.

The haircut thing. You do not really want to cut it off, for some reason really really short gets read as butch. Not anything wrong with that mind you, but doesn't sound like the kind of look you want.

There's info on haircuts here (too bad but I lost a really cool link for haircuts with REAL haircuts instead of drawings). I don't go to a barber yet, but I came out to my hair stylist who is very supportive. http://www.ftmguide.org/haircuts.html

I never passed pre-T. But might be a bit due to age, I think that a person your age will sometimes pass but at a much younger age. If you can look across the street and tell what gender you think someone else is , well everyone is doing this. NOt to say they are necessarily right.

BTW,  a lot of transmasculine people  do not want to be told they are pretty women anymore than a mtf wants to hear "DUDE!"



--Jay