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SRS Fear

Started by NYCTSGirl01, May 02, 2013, 05:14:25 PM

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eli77

I have to agree with Suzi. As far as surgeries go, SRS is a pretty major undertaking with an extensive recovery period and a long list of potential complications. It is much better to go in with your eyes open and your expectations reasonable. I'm at 14 months post-op and my surgeon was Brassard:

Cosmetically, I'm considered to be an overwhelming success. But there are still structural differences between what you end up with and what the average cis woman has. A neovagina has no fourchette and the clitoral hood is not entirely analogous to a cis vagina. Those can (mostly) be repaired if you opt for a labiaplasty. There is also some scarring, obviously. But due to the wide range in appearance of vaginas, neovaginas fall within that expected range.

I did lose a significant amount of sensation. Probably upwards of 2/3. That's not a wildly common result, but expecting to retain full sensation is... optimistic. Some loss of sensation is expected. Just like with any other major surgery, nerve damage is almost inevitable. I am orgasmic. Pretty much everyone does retain that particular ability.

I ended up with a minor complication. Which is also to be expected. A lot of people do. There are just too many moving parts down there. Luckily the minor complications are generally fairly straightforward to fix.

I'm also self-lubricating, which seems to be becoming a more common, but not a guaranteed result.


SRS isn't going to make you a woman or any other such ridiculous conflation of identity and physicality. It will alter one piece of your body to look like another kind of body part. That's it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat and I'm delighted with my results. But then my dysphoria pre-op was pretty miserable.

Honestly, like with any major surgery, if you don't need to do it, don't.
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Tristan

Quote from: Sarah7 on May 05, 2013, 11:09:30 AM
I have to agree with Suzi. As far as surgeries go, SRS is a pretty major undertaking with an extensive recovery period and a long list of potential complications. It is much better to go in with your eyes open and your expectations reasonable. I'm at 14 months post-op and my surgeon was Brassard:

Cosmetically, I'm considered to be an overwhelming success. But there are still structural differences between what you end up with and what the average cis woman has. A neovagina has no fourchette and the clitoral hood is not entirely analogous to a cis vagina. Those can (mostly) be repaired if you opt for a labiaplasty. There is also some scarring, obviously. But due to the wide range in appearance of vaginas, neovaginas fall within that expected range.

I did lose a significant amount of sensation. Probably upwards of 2/3. That's not a wildly common result, but expecting to retain full sensation is... optimistic. Some loss of sensation is expected. Just like with any other major surgery, nerve damage is almost inevitable. I am orgasmic. Pretty much everyone does retain that particular ability.

I ended up with a minor complication. Which is also to be expected. A lot of people do. There is just too many moving parts down there. Luckily the minor complications are generally fairly straightforward to fix.

I'm also self-lubricating, which seems to be becoming a more common, but not a guaranteed result.


SRS isn't going to make you a woman or any other such ridiculous conflation of identity and physicality. It will alter one piece of your body to look like another kind of body part. That's it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat and I'm delighted with my results. But then my dysphoria pre-op was pretty miserable.

Honestly, like with any major surgery, if you don't need to do it, don't.
you are very right in the aspect that its a major surgery and it is life changing. but i know for some (me included ) i never felt more woman than after SRS, things were just so different post surgery. you have all the extra care and if you want to have a one night stand like any other woman and not tell you can. theres to many new changes in my life to list but i do disagree about srs maybe not making you at least feel more woman or at least more secure its like after so much of the negative feelings melt away as does the need to prove yourself as a woman.  all of this was a surprise to me
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eli77

Quote from: Tristan on May 05, 2013, 11:16:34 AM
you are very right in the aspect that its a major surgery and it is life changing. but i know for some (me included ) i never felt more woman than after SRS, things were just so different post surgery. you have all the extra care and if you want to have a one night stand like any other woman and not tell you can. theres to many new changes in my life to list but i do disagree about srs maybe not making you at least feel more woman or at least more secure its like after so much of the negative feelings melt away as does the need to prove yourself as a woman.  all of this was a surprise to me

Yes, of course there are people who feel like you Tristan. But I said it isn't going to "make you a woman." Not that it can't make you feel more like one. I think for folks who do have pretty negative feelings about their bodies, it can definitely make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. It certainly did for me. But it isn't generally going to alter your identity, and it isn't a requirement to feel a certain way about yourself.

And you are right, unfortunately there are always practical considerations related to SRS due to the world we live in.
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Tristan

Yeah I guess your right.  It's not what makes us women but surgery sure does help. Like if I ever end up in jail now I don't have to worry about being locked up on the men's side
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Jenna Marie

Suzi, I hope I didn't come across as saying it will never happen or isn't worth worrying about, because I absolutely don't believe that. I think major complications so severe as to constitute "mutilation" are rare, and that they aren't worth *obsessing* about.

It's possible, and that possibility should never be dismissed, but it's like worrying about fatal liver damage from a normal dose of Tylenol - it happens, but the overall risk profile needs to be kept in perspective. I had to make the decision for myself that it was worth doing even if I might lose all sensation, function, and aesthetic resemblance to normal genitalia... but dwelling on those risks to an excessive degree made me a nervous wreck, and that might have colored my effort to be reassuring.

Still, anyone who considers GRS definitely does need to go into it with their eyes open and do a personal risk assessment.
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JennX

Quote from: Sarah7 on May 05, 2013, 11:28:04 AM
Yes, of course there are people who feel like you Tristan. But I said it isn't going to "make you a woman." Not that it can't make you feel more like one. I think for folks who do have pretty negative feelings about their bodies, it can definitely make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. It certainly did for me. But it isn't generally going to alter your identity, and it isn't a requirement to feel a certain way about yourself.

And you are right, unfortunately there are always practical considerations related to SRS due to the world we live in.

I agree and well said. It may change certain aspects of your anatomy, which in turn may help alleviate certain feelings.... But you will be the same person at the end of the day when all is said and done.
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton
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milktea

and on a very practical note, make sure you are ready for the pain and down time post op before you commit. expect complications!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I have a post-op recovery blog now...yeah!
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pretty pauline

I can relate to the fear of srs surgery, it took me 12years after I started transition, I just kept putting it off, fear of health problems and things going wrong, I finally bit the bullet, it completed my transition, it was also necessary for me if I was ever to have a future relationship with guys. I know we are still the same person, but I felt more complete as a woman, Im now a married woman with a husband, that would never have happen if I never had srs.
If your going thru hell, just keep going.
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NYCTSGirl01

Quote from: Tristan on May 05, 2013, 11:16:34 AM
you are very right in the aspect that its a major surgery and it is life changing. but i know for some (me included ) i never felt more woman than after SRS, things were just so different post surgery. you have all the extra care and if you want to have a one night stand like any other woman and not tell you can. theres to many new changes in my life to list but i do disagree about srs maybe not making you at least feel more woman or at least more secure its like after so much of the negative feelings melt away as does the need to prove yourself as a woman.  all of this was a surprise to me

Who was your surgeon?
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NYCTSGirl01

Quote from: milktea on May 05, 2013, 07:24:58 PM
and on a very practical note, make sure you are ready for the pain and down time post op before you commit. expect complications!

Who was your surgeon?
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Tristan

Quote from: milktea on May 05, 2013, 07:24:58 PM
and on a very practical note, make sure you are ready for the pain and down time post op before you commit. expect complications!
Yeah I have to agree the down time is alot. And then once your back up and moving again your strength is so low. That was a huge shocker to not really have physical strength and have to rely on guys. It's all fun now though
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NYCTSGirl01

Quote from: pretty pauline on May 05, 2013, 07:56:05 PM
I can relate to the fear of srs surgery, it took me 12years after I started transition, I just kept putting it off, fear of health problems and things going wrong, I finally bit the bullet, it completed my transition, it was also necessary for me if I was ever to have a future relationship with guys. I know we are still the same person, but I felt more complete as a woman, Im now a married woman with a husband, that would never have happen if I never had srs.

Who was your surgeon?

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calico

Quote from: pretty pauline on May 05, 2013, 07:56:05 PM
I can relate to the fear of srs surgery, it took me 12years after I started transition, I just kept putting it off, fear of health problems and things going wrong, I finally bit the bullet, it completed my transition, it was also necessary for me if I was ever to have a future relationship with guys.

You to huh lol, I did the same and waited for 12 years, because of fears, and also trying to make sure I absoloutly had to have it, than when distractions weren't keeping the thoughts of have srs away. the dysphoria got so bad it became a have to situation, and I had to start taking another medication because of the dysphoria as while I was making progress toward my goal I started haveing fears something might happen that would keep me from my surgery and than I would lose my deposit. and well ... non of that happened and I got srs and am way better.. I dont disagree that surgery change's"who" you are but I will say it changed my perspective and set my soul free. I say this because I was tormented by so many thoughts because I still had this nasty disgusting thing between my legs. I know we all have our moments and gid effects everyone differently, but for me if the surgery hadnt of happened I would prob not be alive...
"To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity."― Irving Wallace  "Before you can be anything, you have to be yourself. That's the hardest thing to find." -  E.L. Konigsburg
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