What are you thinking right now? 4.0

[~RoadToTrista~]

I wanna hug a baby. >.<

[Shang]

I wanna hug a baby. >.<

I wanna hug a puppy. They're cuter.  (In my opinion. >.> )

[Anna++]

I wanna hug a puppy. They're cuter.  (In my opinion. >.> )

I want to hug a cat... but I can't hug every cat

[Shang]

I'd hug a cat, but my mom is stupid allergic so she can't even be around people who have cats.

And...I have a serious disdain of people eating.  The sounds are so disgusting!  Gah!  It's one of the many reasons I like to live alone.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I have both a puppy and a cat whom are both smothered with hugs already.

[Edge]

I agree with Shantel on the drug thing. I was fed neurotransmitter altering drugs in high school when what really should have happened was letting me have normal emotions and letting me learn how to deal with them. Not putting me in an constantly exhausted, suicidal state and telling me I was crazy. (Being abused is not the same having a mental illness. Antidepressants can cause suicidal tendencies. Not that anyone listened to me.)

[Shang]

I leave the room when people start eating...  Movie theaters are the worst.

We eat in the living room generally so there's nowhere for me to go. D:

News:

Left hand:  Hurts straight throughout my palm.  I used my hand to help myself stand up and it hurts. D:

Right wrist:  My wrist got sliced by an aquarium bottom that decided to break while I was lightly tapping it (and I mean lightly).  It's not deep and it's finally stopped bleeding, but it hurts. D:

[Adam (birkin)]

I have the worst tasting mouthwash in the entire world. It's going to take a while to get through the bottle, and I can't bring myself to throw it out. Every time I use it I nearly puke.

[Shantel]

Ouch, AG.

I now have four weeks to come out to my dad before he comes to town. I wonder if he knows we're estranged, or if he just thinks I'm laconic.

He's probably clueless, older men can be really quite disconnected on many levels. And you're scheduled for top surgery soon? Guess he'll have no choice but to just get over it.

[King Malachite]

One of the things I'm doing after top surgery is ordering a custom made lavender tuxedo with a cape, mask and staff.  Heck yes!

[Shantel]

One of the things I'm doing after top surgery is ordering a custom made lavender tuxedo with a cape, mask and staff.  Heck yes!

You're sounding more like a man with a plan after all!

[ZoeM]

One of the things I'm doing after top surgery is ordering a custom made lavender tuxedo with a cape, mask and staff.  Heck yes!

Are you going to go join Phoenix Jones in Seattle? Patrol the streets?

[King Malachite]

Are you going to go join Phoenix Jones in Seattle? Patrol the streets?

Negative on that one.  Is that a person? lol




Now I'm thinking about how I found more crap to put on Craigslist to sell.  Yay me!

[ZoeM]

Negative on that one.  Is that a person? lol




Now I'm thinking about how I found more crap to put on Craigslist to sell.  Yay me!

He's a person. Real close to crazy, too.

http://thephoenixjones.com/

[King Malachite]

He's a person. Real close to crazy, too.

http://thephoenixjones.com/

I'd like to have lunch with him one day.

[Liminal Stranger]

As a parent I'm not in favor of treating kids with drugs to modify their behavior when quite often all that's wrong with them is that they are individuals with a view on things that differ from that of the parents. Max, have you been diagnosed with ADD that you have to take that mood altering stuff? Don't let my comments be the cause for a rebellion, I'm just wondering for your sake because all too often parents will buy into what the doctor prescribes when i know that so many doctors just throw pills at symptoms to mask the problem rather than doing the investigative work to determine causation.

Parents will complain to the doctor, "My kid is driving me crazy with his erratic behavior, bla bla!" So the doctor thinks, "I'll prescribe this and we'll drug the little bast**d and I won't have to listen to the yammering from this distraught parent any longer."

I've been diagnosed twice, first with ADD and then with "clinical ADHD". Not that the alphabet soup matters. Basically I'm fidgety and bored in school, assignments bore me because I already understand and it's just busywork to me, going to school after reading the textbook only to have said book thrown at me in verbal form annoys me. So I doodle, I stare out the window, shake my leg, fidget. Waiting for school to let out so I can just leave already. I'm forgetful because of stress and lack of sleep due to nightmares and surges of energy when I should be going to sleep.

So what do they give me? Stimulants. Really now.
I get it, I participate and raise my hand 5 billion times on Adderall. My doodles become more geometric, I talk faster, it lifts a little more of that iron wall I have inhibiting my communication. But people seeing me as a boy does that so much better. I grow restless on the meds, especially when they peak during my strings class.

The pain that both this and liking someone can cause is ridiculous, and in a situation like mine now they make a lethal combination, putting me in agony. Good news is that the light at the end of the tunnel is close; I've been taking it these two days to "prep" for taking it tomorrow for a few subject exams because they're supposed to help me concentrate. They do make me do things faster, but I dislike them. I'll likely be on them for the next couple of weeks until AP exams are over, but after that I'll be a lot less stressed as well.

[DriftingCrow]

What am I thinking right now? I have my Secured Transactions final tomorrow, and I have no idea what happens to collateral when the debtor sells it to someone else because the interest is still attached to the collateral yet the debtor also has an interest in the proceeds, so if the debtor defaults it seems like the creditor can still get the proceeds and get the collateral too (debtors can go after collateral sold to a 3rd party unless one of the exceptions applies) which just seems unfair that the creditor can get both. I should've studied more during the semester, but I say that every time finals come up and I always end up doing just fine.

One of the things I'm doing after top surgery is ordering a custom made lavender tuxedo with a cape, mask and staff.  Heck yes!

Totally awesome man!

[King Malachite]

Totally awesome man!

I know right?




Beautiful.  I may walk into a church like that one day.



I'm thinking about how I never win with my mother, especially when she's drunk.  I can't wait until I have a chance to move out which I'll probably do after legally changing my name,

[King Malachite]

Man goes out in a suit like that, you know he's not afraid of anything.

true indeed-taking a cosplay out it and wearing it in a daily life will take a lot of guts.

[Liminal Stranger]

The girl who's been my sort of girlfriend is now really mad at me. She knew I was in a relationship already, but didn't know the other person was a guy. Now I thought I'd told her, but I guess not, even though I knew she wasn't all too clear on it. But it came up in a conversation with my friend who used that as a tool to make her stop being so overly attached to us, and she got horribly upset that he knew first and that I'm with a guy, even though I did clearly state that I can and will date people regardless of sex or gender.

It's the scary kind of upset, the kind where they smile tightly at you and say that everything is fine but their eyes look at you with contempt and hatred and death threats and make you want to run in the opposite direction as fast and far as possible. I don't like that kind of angry at all, not that I like any kind of angry but this one is the worst. I talked to her a bit in the evening but I don't know how this is going to pan out. Even if we end the relationship that was being built, I don't want to lose the friendship that we were also forming. I like her as a friend, not just as a crush.

Before the incident, she was talking to me about stuff and playing with my hair as usual. I don't remember why, but she said that I'm not a guy or a girl, I'm a Max. Her explanation was that I don't act like either and that I'm of my own gender, and said "you just sense these kind of things, you know?". But I didn't know, now I'm confused. Other people think I act like a guy, some think I just act like a 12 year old.

But I'm a guy :-/