*hugs Sara* I'm sorry you're feeling so down and confused right now. If it makes you feel any better, I did have similar questions myself before I began hormones. I knew I hated my body and sex characteristics, but I questioned now and again if having a male body would make those feelings go away. It's a long and hard process, not just in practical terms but also coming to accept and understand yourself. The uncertainty and confusion isn't easy, especially when the hatred you feel for your body pushes you to do *something*, but try to keep in mind that as painful as these feelings are, they are just feelings and it's OK to be unsure. Try to take it all in stride and know that one day, no matter which path you take, you will come out of this and figure all this out.
