Pictures

[girl you look fierce]

ka-snap

[Jamie D]

Lots of people don't like the looks of themselves in photos.  If they did, cosmetic surgery would not be a multi-Billion dollar (euro, pound, yen, etc) industry.

This is the time to listen to what your friends have to say.

[Nero]

I hate pictures of myself. Always have. They scare the daylights out of me. Part of being trans for me is alienation from my appearance even after transition apparently. One thing I deal with is that I was a conventionally attractive person as a female and now I am not, even though I'm much more comfortable in my body.
People tell me I'm handsome and I know they've got to be lying.
I wish I had advice for this.

[FrancisAnn]

It is sure nice to not be alone with this problem. I look nice in the mirrow & feel nice. Then I take some pictures, look & say yuck.

To be honest in my young years I looked very pretty, sexy, passable & confident as a very nice woman however I think now the pictures are more accurate. It's the reason I'm trying to muster the courage for a face lift & neck lift.

Oh well we all get older. Have fun young girl friends.

[FrancisAnn]

Girl,

You look very feminine to me & you have a very nice face. And such a thin sexy body.

You have no need to worry so much, just relax & enjoy life. You do not need any plastic surgery anywhere.

[Nero]

At first look I know a lot of people would just see femme (I hope) but then I look and I see all the shadows... the prominence (depth-wise) of the chin, the ridge on my nose, the heavy shadows cast over my eyes.

I don't see any of this.

And really maybe the only reason I even look femme is presentation (thanks to makeup and stuff). Cause styled differently I could prob look masculine. I know I spent almost a year FT only passing because of makeup and presentation, facially I still looked the same as I did when I was passing male..

There are plenty of female bodied people who could look masculine styled differently. Plenty of pre-T guys pass as male based on presentation (unfortunately, I was not one of them). Hillary Swank made a pretty convincing boy in Boys Don't Cry (as did Brandon Teena whom she portrayed).

I really get jealous of pretty, hyper-feminine girls, it's not like I want to be an Andrej Pejic, I just want to be pretty, elegant and feminine.

As I'm sure you know, it's very common for women in our society to feel like crap about their appearance and think everybody looks better, prettier, more feminine than them. Those girls you're talking about feel the same way about themselves. In fact, I'm sure it's very rare to find a woman who doesn't feel this way. Especially a young woman.

Okay, a bit dated and maybe a little cheesy, but a good message:

[Jess42]

girl you look fierce. I don't see anything masculine in the picture. As a matter of fact I have seen a lot of cis women that look more masculine than you.

I think it is just we know ourselves better than anyone else, flaws and all. It's just simple dysphoria and not being satisified with your own looks. Everyone goes through the same thing.

[Jess42]

Like I said, everyone has the feelings about themselves that you do. If not they, in my opinion, are way to vain and cought up in themselves. We probably are more judgemental of ourselves because of being transgender and that part of ourselves that we despise or would rather just forget about, won't ever shut up or go away. I will tell you this though, if I passed you walking down the street, all I would see is a woman, and believe me I notice things big time. I am somewhat hyper-vigilant, not paranoid but extrememly aware of my surroundings and people around me. Like I said earlier, I've seen way more masculine cis women.

[Renee]

Yeah, I'm like that a lot. Its why I change pics so much and often drop them altogether. I keep one of my dog on FB because of it too. I don't get too many opinions in real life to base anything off of.

[spacial]

Okay, a bit dated and maybe a little cheesy, but a good message:

Never heard that song before and it isn't the style of music I normall listen to.

But as you said, Good message.

Posted it on my face book page if you don't mind!

Thanks.

[Jennygirl]

I feel you with makeup. When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, all I see is maleface. But then I think about how my mom looks without makeup, and I realize we actually look quite similar. I get the same tinge with photos that you speak of, too- but I have also been learning how to pose properly and it's been helping a lot.

Anyway most girls look completely different without makeup- especially eye makeup. Sometimes so much that it is eerie!

Like they say in graphic design school- presentation is everything. Use what you can and be who you want to be in any way you see fit.

Oh and by the way - regardless of what you think or say - I bet I would find you to be extremely gorgeous in any photo from any angle. I do understand, though. I do a lot of untagging on Facebook

[Jennygirl]

Thanks. Yep I find it hard to tell what gender I look like, esp. without makeup. I found that the only way I can feel I look positively masculine or feminine anymore is by accepting that I don't look weird or "off" presenting femininely now matter how feminine. Since really masculine features combined with a really feminine presentation has a way of being jarring.

And yep looking like my mom helps reassure me too.

You are looking great too Jenny, your progress is really amazing!

I am really trying with the pictures thing, and I'm gonna try and learn to do better photography a little too, because I am trying to organize my wardrobe as it expands a lot and I want to take pics of my favorite outfits for those doomy mornings when it feels like there's nothing to wear. I really am ignorant about photography but oh well.

Thank you

I think we share a lot in common. I dunno why, but I really love to go with as much femininity as possible. I don't know if it's because I just feel more comfortable via passing more or if deep down I am just really really girly. I tend to think it is the latter though

[MiaOhMya!]

Hey, regarding the shadows and such you see in photos...that's just poor lighting! I know you've seen a photo shoot set, and all the white reflective surfaces and specific lighting are there to eliminate shadows and enhance the subject.

Now look at whatever gear most of us use to take photos and criticise ourselves...likely cheap stuff...and then indoors or in terrible lighting....and then self portratits shot one-handed and backward...maybe on a make shift stand...often in the most unflattering lifeless poses possible to see "how we realy look"...well its NO WONDER we look like such $#!t !

People are alive, fluid and moving. It takes a good photograph to capture that essence of who you really are; who you see as yourself.

[Lisa55]

I know what you mean about the picture appearing to deteriorate, I quite often find that I like a picture on the day, but then a few days later I will look at it and see more male than before.  I guess its down to it being a static point in time and being given the chance to scrutinize over and over noticing things, and once noticed they cant be over looked. 

I think there is also the movement of goal posts as we get better at presenting.   some pictures I took a few years ago I was really happy with at the time, but looking back at them now I just think, OMG Bad ->-bleeped-<- alert, and how did I ever get away with going out looking anything like that.  Since those photos I have had a lot of self improvement, lost a lot weight, practiced makeup, etc., but at the time I thought they were great and was really happy that I looked good in them.   

Although if I'm honest it was photos that played a major part in loosing the weight as for a while all that ever came out of the camera was a fat ugly man in a frock.

[Jess42]

Well, every picture I take, I hate. When I look in the mirror though I'm pretty pleased. But pictures, nah, especially cellphone pictures.

[StellaB]

Most people are uncomfortable with the way they look on camera.

There's a reason for this. When you're looking at yourself or other people you pick out certain things but the camera lens picks up everything.

But you know, there's more than one way of taking a photo, and you don't necessarily need a better camera. You can get a decent quality photo with a 3.0MP camera just as you can with a 16MP camera.

The secret here is lighting which is almost as important as the camera itself. So too is the angle.

Let's take a look at the photo you posted above in the thread. There's nothing wrong with the way you look. How you look isn't the problem. The problem is how and where you took the photo. You took it on a camera phone possibly in your bathroom.

First issue is that lighting in a bathroom is usually insufficient for a good photo. Avoid energy saving bulbs. They save energy but the lighting isn't the best quality. Try using natural daylight, best either in the morning up to say 11am or late afternoon.

Cold light (which looks whiter or brighter) will sharpen your features where as warm light (such as from a bedside lamp) will soften your features.

The next issue is that you're holding a camera phone somewhere above your waist - it's too low. If you want a better facial picture it's best to have the camera lens either level with your eye line or slightly above it. A head and body photo needs to have the camera lens somewhere between your neck and shoulders. Just above your waist is best for full body shots (head to toe).

Also when you're taking a photo of yourself never look directly into the lens - it's usually the worst possible angle you can choose (think 'America's Most Wanted'). Try and look at some sort of an angle, either slightly or more. Faces are individual and generally so too are the best angles.

You can look totally feminine and still look bad on a photo. I'm an independent film maker working with actors and every actor I work with has their best angles and other angles which are a complete no no. I picked up on a lot of tips from professional photographers.

If you look on Google or Youtube you will find tons of tips, tutorials and advice from photographers (try portrait photography).

I just thought I'd mention this in case anyone tries some of my tips above which don't work and they think 'What a dork'.

Another thing which I've just remembered is that you have to capture a split second of you good enough for a photo and this isn't easy. Try taking a few dozen photos next time you need a picture of yourself and choose the best two.

This is great for developing confidence about seeing yourself in photos.

[Jennygirl]

What a great post, Stella!

I already do most of the things you suggest, and I am generally really happy with my photos besides the whole deteriorating effect some have mentioned- I get that too. BTW I am an avid photographer, just kind of in one of my off-seasons from shooting a lot.

Definitely take a bunch of photos and select the best two. Sometimes it even helps to take the photos one day and come back a few days later to decide which is the best. Sometimes you just get lucky with good lighting and a good photo just happens. When I am shooting anything, I usually end up taking 10 shots to every 1 chosen. Sometimes it's even closer to 20:1.

Seriously though, everything that Stella said is true to the max and will help greatly!

And a very cool video that one of my friends recently showed me:

[Jamie D]

That video reminded me of the effects of psilocybin mushroom tea.

(Not recommended, friends)

[Jess42]

Excellent and ver informative post Stella, but I still stand by what I said before and in all caps because I am screamingit, I HATE THE WAY I LOOK IN PICTURES AND IT SUX. Now that I did the simulated scream, to no one in particular but myself, I feel a little better. I just hope that I don't look to the rest of the world the way I do in photos.

On the other had, I knew a woman from way back in my younger days and I have to say that she was beautiful. She had excellent facial features, never had problems with guys tripping on their tounges around her. She made a lot of other girls feel uncomfortable with their own looks, but she could not pictures well. The camera truly hated her. She tried to have pictures done by professional photographers and she had done the Glamour Shots deal to which usually makes someone look more beautiful. In her case, it went the opposite way. But in real life, she was as beautiful without makeup as in it. Never could figure it out, and she would often joke about but deep down it bothered her.

Who knows, maybe I'm ugly on the inside and the camera is picking up on that?

As for the video Jamie, you don't need the tea. Just the movement and the lighting caused me some effects just with coffee.

[Jess42]

Don't worry girl you look fierce, I feel like her too.