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Coming out while living with family.

Started by Ltl89, May 09, 2013, 12:01:00 AM

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misschievous

Darkness at the break of noon
Shadows even the silver spoon
The handmade blade, the child's balloon
Eclipses both the sun and moon
To understand you know too soon, there is no sense in trying

Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fool's gold mouthpiece the hollow horn
Plays wasted words proves to warn
That he not busy being born is busy dying

Temptation's page flies out the door
You follow, find yourself at war
Watch waterfalls of pity roar
You feel to moan but unlike before
You discover that you'd just be one more person crying

So don't fear if you hear
A foreign sound to your ear
It's alright, Ma, I'm only sighing

As some warn victory, some downfall
Private reasons great or small
Can be seen in the eyes of those that call
To make all that should be killed to crawl
While others say don't hate nothing at all, except hatred

Disillusioned words like bullets bark
As human gods aim for their mark
Made everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It's easy to see without looking too far that not much is really sacred

Our preachers preach of evil fates
Teachers teach that knowledge waits
Can lead to hundred-dollar plates
Goodness hides behind its gates
But even the President of the United States
Sometimes must have to stand naked

An' all the rules of the road have been lodged
It's only people's games that you got to dodge
And it's alright, Ma, I can make it

Advertising signs that con you
Into thinking you're the one
That can do what's never been done
That can win what's never been won
Meantime life outside goes on all around you

You lose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand with nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks they really found you
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/its-alright-ma-lyrics-bob-dylan.html ]

A question in your nerves is lit
Yet you know there is no answer fit
To satisfy insure you not to quit
To keep it in your mind and not forget
That it is not he or she or them or it that you belong to

Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to

For them that must obey authority
That they do not respect in any degree
Who despise their jobs, their destinies
Speak jealously of them that are free
Do what they do just to be
Nothing more than something they invest in

While some on principles baptized
To strict party platform ties
Social clubs in drag disguise
Outsiders they can freely criticize
Tell nothing except who to idolize and say, "God bless him"

While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society's pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole that he's in

But I mean no harm nor put fault
On anyone that lives in a vault
But it's alright, Ma, if I can't please him

Old lady judges watch people in pairs
Limited in sex, they dare
To push fake morals, insult and stare
While money doesn't talk, it swears
Obscenity, who really cares propaganda, all is phony

While them that defend what they cannot see
With a killer's pride, security
It blows the minds most bitterly
For them that think death's honesty
Won't fall upon them naturally
Life sometimes must get lonely

My eyes collide head-on with stuffed graveyards
False goals, I scuff at pettiness which plays so rough
Walk upside-down inside handcuffs
Kick my legs to crash it off
Say, "Okay, I have had enough, what else can you show me?"

And if my thought dreams could be seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine
But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only


I have a confession to make..... I didn't type all this although I know all the lyrics being favorite Bob Dylan song but Just alot to type BOLD FACE my favorite lines
:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

I told you once about a place that I had accidentally stumbled upon
Can you imagine how it feels to find somewhere that you can do no wrong
But it's alright you're safe in my hands

I'll meet you in the sky tonight and we will trace some undiscovered stars
We'll go beyond the universe beyond all understanding, hey, it's not that far
But it's alright I feel safe in your hands

I can't stand living this way
Getting by from day to day

I'm drinking from your loving cup
I told you things were looking cup
Oh oh oh so good
Oh it feels so good

We're all the same but then again we're all quite different in our own peculiar ways
We've come so far and now we're going through another phase

But it's alright
We made it so far

I can't stand living this way
Getting by from day to day

I'm drinking from your loving cup
Told you things were looking cup

As we all know it's hard to breathe when something spiritual has taken place
We don't know why we don't know how we've been transformed into a state of grace

But it's alright
We walk in our sleep
Yes it's alright
This is rapture of the deep
  •  

misschievous

I like a little Deep Purple don't know much of their songs
:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

Quote from: misschievous on June 09, 2013, 03:13:08 PM
I like a little Deep Purple don't know much of their songs
Their new album includes two songs dedicated to their former keyboarder, who died of cancer last year.

Here's one:

Light up a candle
Start one for me
Let it float on the water
Right down to the sea
Draw back your curtain
Wave me goodbye
Lift up your arms
And look up to the sky
To the sky

Start me a candle
Keep it alight
Put it there in the window
And I'll come back tonight
Touch me in the darkness
I'll send you a sign
Give me your loving
And I'll give you mine

I may be leaving
But I won't be gone
I'll be there when you want me
Above and beyond

Nothing I can tell you
It's all up to you
I'll be here if you need me
Am I getting through
Rest on your sadness
And tomorrow we'll find
That souls, having touched
Are forever entwined

I may be leaving
But I won't be gone
I'll be there when you want me
Above and beyond

Yes, I may be leaving
But not for too long
I'll be there when you want me
Above and beyond

BTW, confused as hell again. Right now, i feel nothing, neither girly nor anything. Tomorrow, my maleness will depress me again, i'm sure. It's hard to even feel feminine when your body is so ugly.
  •  

misschievous

Here is A DMB song that I have kinda related to lately


Oh well oh well so here we stand
But we stand for nothing
My heart calls to me in my sleep
How can I turn to it
'Cause I'm all locked up in this
Dark place - and I do not know
I'm good as dead
My head aches - warped and tied up
I need to kill this pain

My head won't leave my head alone
And I don't believe it will
'Til I'm dead and gone
My head won't leave my head alone
And I don't believe it will
'Til I'm six feet under ground

How long I'm tied up
My mind in knots - my stomach reels
In concern for what I might do or
What I've done
It's got me living in fear
Well I know these voices must
Be my soul
I've had enough
I've had enough
Of being alone
I've got no place to go


In my grave
Lying wired shut and quiet in my grave
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/rhyme-reason-lyrics-dave-matthews-band.html ]
Leave me here
Leave it to me to waste here

So young here I am again
Talking to myself
A t.v. blares
Oh man oh how I wish I didn't smoke
Or drink to reason with my head
But sometimes this thick confusion
Grows until I cannot bare it all
Needle to the vein
Needle to the vein
Take this needle from my vein my friend

In my grave
Lying lying cold in my grave
Reason - my reason
Take my head off this terror
I'm fearing I'll come back
I'll see
My mind's all wiped clean
The needle
Make my great escape
I'll see the cold in time
My head leaves me behind
Let me fade away

I seem caught in time
My head leaves me behind
Body falls cold
And I see heaven


Read more: DAVE MATTHEWS BAND - RHYME & REASON LYRICS
:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

So ya
Thought ya
Might like to go to the show
To feel the warm thrill of confusion
That space cadet glow
Tell me is something eluding you sunshine?
Is this not what you expected to see?
If you want to find out what's behind these cold eyes?2
You'll just have to claw your way through this3
Disguise

Edit: Just why am i feeling little to no dysphoria right now. Why am i feeling "normal" for a change? I know i felt horrible a few hours ago. Am i insane?
  •  

misschievous

Also this one I feel like it Gives me hope for the future Like I stepped out of doing the normal "Guy" thing to do my own thing and be who I want to and be myself.



Dave Matthews Band Proudest Monkey Lyrics
Send "Proudest Monkey" Ringtone to your Cell
Swing in this tree
Oh I am bounce around so well
Branch to branch,
Limb to limb you see
All in a day's dream
I'm stuck
Like the other monkeys here
I am a humble monkey
Sitting up in here again
But then came the day
I climbed out of these safe limbs
Ventured away
Walking tall, head high up and singing
I went to the city
Car horns, corners and the gritty
Now I am the proudest monkey you've ever seen
Monkey see, monkey do

Then comes the day
Staring at myself I turn to question me
I wonder do I want the simple, simple life that I once lived in well
Oh things were quiet then
In a way they were the better days
But now I am the proudest monkey you've ever seen
Monkey see, monkey do
Monkey see, monkey do


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh I Used to live in a tree
I loved it but I thought it wasn't enough for me...
So I paved a road to the city
For me...and for the rest of the monkeys
I'm on the scene-
Yes I'm on the scene...again.
Yes I'm this proud monkey...leading the way.
So...
When we must leave...
For good
I am the proudest monkey...
That I'm aware o'
Monkey see, monkey do, hit my tail.
Monkey see, monkey do.

When I walk, I walk so tall
Not bent all double over...
Like the other monkeys, that I know
But still I don't know:
If I'm so good or
If heavens the place to go or
If hell is where we were
If Sinnin'g's what we do
I know that I'm A smartest monkey
That I am aware o'
Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey see.


Who are they
Who are they everywhere
Who is this monkey
Thinks he is so great
Who taught this monkey to
We taught this monkey to
Turn in the trail of his friends?
We are the proudest monkeys
We are the proudest monkeys
You and me are the proudest monkeys
You and I am the proudest monkeys
Monkey see, monkey do.
:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

Hello
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working. good.
That'll keep you going for the show.
Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
  •  

misschievous

Nope Your Keeping Your Mind PReoccupied with something you care about........ MUSIC

I am same way
:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

This one is great too:

I'm crying
I'm dying

I can see what's wrong with me
It's in my head
I can see what's gonna be
As I lie in my bed
Man is not my brotherhood
I am of the dead

I died as I lived, as I loved and was born
On some distant hill
The reasons to hide were the reasons I cried
Fools pass laughing still

There can be bad blood in all and I can see
It's in my brain
You don't know the pain I feel
As I must live again
Rocks and stones can't bruise my soul
But tears will leave a stain

They smile to themselves as they lay down my head
On some distant hill
The blind and the child sweep a tear from their eye
Fools smile as they kill

I got my own way to go and now I want
To take your minds
I believe if you could see
The blood between the lines
I believe that you could be
A better kind

Please lead the way so the unborn can play
On some greener hill
Laugh as the flames, eat their burning remains
Fools die laughing still
  •  

misschievous

I DO LOVE THE WALL :)

Rumor I heard was "Dark side of the Moon" was written while Syd was at a mental hospital and they kept playing Wizard of Oz and that is why it syncs up so well
:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

misschievous

:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

Ian Gillan of Deep Purple
Listen to the way Ian G. sings "Rocks" in "Fools". Sounds really desperate.

Here's a nice one:

This baggage handcuffed to my wrists
I drag it everywhere I go
Sometimes I fight you with my fists
But if I knew which way was home

Before the karma cut me loose
Would bring me whisky and my water
Sometimes I get the blues
Though I know I shouldnt oughta
That's where I'd go

Run down ghost trail, no chance of love
No sign of life, just wild dogs howlin in the night
Oh, that's what I like

Before the karma cut me free
I'm sick of my own company
Sometimes I miss the boat
Most times I miss my home
That's where I'd go
If I new which way was home

Run down ghost trail, no chance of love
No sign of life
Just wild dogs howlin' in the night

Hear 'em howl...
  •  

misschievous

lol I think we kinda got off topic from start of topic Coming out while living at home lol


:icon_lips:

"Hands and Feet are all Alike, but Fear still Divides Us."

                                                              "Cry Freedom"
                                                                       DMB
  •  

CalmRage

Quote from: misschievous on June 09, 2013, 03:58:46 PM
lol I think we kinda got off topic from start of topic Coming out while living at home lol
Let's PM instead?
  •  

CalmRage

What or who am I? Am i going insane? Do i have a split personality? I once dreamed of playing "the doctor". What is going on with me?
This one day i'm all sure about this, even make an appointment with my psychologist, the next one i feel all masculine (not as masculine as others, insecurely masculine). I never feel very feminine, but somehow on some days i just know(?).

I am also often afraid of many feminine things, which is an unrational (?) fear. I can't make this go away though.

Am I really feeling dysphoric? Am i insane?

And most importantly: Why has it been bothering me this long then?
  •