New Clinic (and my stupid dad)

[bethanyjadefowell]

I am sure lots of dad's are the same, but my dad does not even care about me at all!!

He thinks I am making all this up, that I have just read something on the internet, eight months ago and thought "that sounds good, I might try the sex change"

To him, I am just getting information of the internet (even now after eight months of transition and living full time as a female all that time as well). He thinks I don't know anything about GID and that everything I am saying is wrong.

He thinks he knows all about GID, even though he has also said he doesn't.

My dad said (three weeks ago) that I am mentally ill, and that other trans people must have something seriously wrong with them to want to have a sex change.

I have told him since starting this that it's:

One year RLE
3 years transition
HRT for life
And I will change a lot

My dad says:

About the above, I am wrong.

Ok, I didn't go to such a good gender clinic, but now I have found a new one (I go Saturday to London), he says, that what it says on their web site, is wrong (even though the two doctors I have to see, work for the CX Gender clinic), and that I should lean my lesson that NO clinic in this world would let anyone change their gender, they would not allow it!

My dad said he is sick of talking about my gender change, and thought I would of forgot about doing it by now. But in the last six months, I have talked to him about it (only TWICE)

I am upset though, as he does not even know that I am going Saturday to London. I sent him an email of where I have to go, but at that point I had not made an appointment, and I have still not got a reply, three weeks later.

Today I got a text message from him (thanking me for his birthday card) but he did not ask anything about London, so he still doesn't know that I am going on Saturday.

I would like my dad's support but, he said he will never do that. The best thing for me to do is, change my gender, and once I have started to change, he may start to believe me, that what I have been saying is right (and not like he thinks)

[Kade1985]

Some parents have a hard time understanding, from what I've heard. He may come around eventually, and I hope that he does.

You aren't mentally ill and there is nothing wrong with you. Hopefully he'll see how happy it makes you when you start your physical transition. Good luck in London

[bethanyjadefowell]

Thank you.

I hope it goes well. But I am really worried, because, after my first clinic, I am not sure how diagnose really works!!! With my other clinic, it was just a case of talking over things with the Psychiatrist, to find out if she thought I was transgender or not.

I know I am transgender (don't need anyone to tell me that) and that I need to do this now, not later...

[spacial]

You don't seem to be mentally ill to me either.

[StellaB]

I also think you're sane and lucid. As for your father - no comment.

[bethanyjadefowell]

Would I be wrong to say, give it six months (when I have re-statred treatment) and tell him that I don't want to see him, if he is still the same?

But I feel like doing the above now, as he's been like this since day one of me telling him I am transgender, and it is making me really upset.

Plus I feel giving him eight months to come round to what I am doing has already been long enough!!

[spacial]

He doesn't respect you. He isn't going to.

Think about it, seriously, if you announced you were going to give up on all this transgender stuff and live according to how he thinks. Would he start to respect you? Even a bit?

I suggest he would simply grind you for some other reason.

Just walk away.

[Kade1985]

I have to agree with Spacial on this. Enough is enough, and you need to think about yourself on this matter. Tormenting yourself by allowing your father to do what he's doing won't solve anyone's problems..

[KatieCleaves]

Hello
         I understand your feelings about you dad. I had such a hard time with mine I did not talk to him for three years. As of today I have been living as a woman full time for just over six months. I am on hormones and enjoying who I have become. I have just recently been in touch with my dad. He has finally accepted me for who I am. He tells me he does not understand what I am doing but he does accept me. A couple of weeks ago he did acknowledge me as his daughter. That was the greatest feeling I have ever had.

            I think for any of us gaining a parents acceptance is the hardest thing we can do. I am sure you dad will come around it's just going to take some time. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not mentally ill. Ask your self this Are you happy with the change? do you finally feel like you belong? I can answer yes to these questions and I am sure you can too. I do wish you all the best in your transition. It is always an uphill battle but one that is worth it. Be patient with your dad he will come around it will just  take some time. I wish you the best of luck with your clinic in London. I am sure you can see a bright future ahead.


Sincerely
Katie

[StellaB]

Chalk me up as another one who agrees with spacial.

Your father sounds like someone with gender issues who doesn't seem at all bothered about facing up to and dealing with these issues so as to support you.

It's a straightforward choice - supporting you or holding on to these issues. Your father has made his choice.

If you can come up with a wand and a pumpkin I can have a go at being a fairy godmother but somehow I don't think it will work out.

Therefore I'll leave it for you to marvel at the stupidity of those who are prepared to throw away their most important relationships in their life over a gender issue.

[Ltl89]

I am sorry to hear about your father.  Hopefully, he will come around in time.  For now, focus on your own happiness. 

Wishing you lots of luck.

[FTMDiaries]

Congrats on going to London - if I'm right about who you're going to see, you're in very good hands. Just be yourself, be honest, and rest assured that this particular clinic is set up with the express purpose of helping you transition, if that's the right thing for you to do. They're not there to make things difficult: they're there to make things easier.

As for your father: he's still in the denial phase because he's not going through the mental changes you've gone through since deciding to transition. All he has to go on is what he can see... so until you start to visibly change, he will still think of you in the same way and he'll think you're not serious.

You're the one driving this transition bus: just keep moving forward, steadily and confidently, and your father may well catch up with you eventually. If not, well that is unfortunate but it isn't your fault.

Best of luck tomorrow.

[bethanyjadefowell]

Thanks for all the 'good lucks'.

I will let you all know how it goes.

[bethanyjadefowell]

On way home from London. It went really well. The two doctors i had to see, were able to easily diagnose me with GID. They said what ive done in the space of eight months, is more than some other trans ppl do - changing my name via deed poll (first month), starting RLE (second month) and wearing ladies clothes that stand out (skirts and not jeans).

The first doctor is going to write to Albany to try and get notes of my blood test. But as Albany didn't even want to tell DR Seal if the DR at Albany was a GP or not (at first), it might not be easy.

As people in the UK may know, you have to stop HRT for three month before blood tests and starting treatment again. But as I've been f***** about by Albany for eight months, they are going to take the chance of starting HRT next month.

if Albany are no help, they are going to ask my doctor to do bloods this month also.

The treatment i will be on, will be the right HRT and T-blocker, and may have injections as well.

Also my GP will get a full report of my diagnoses as i will too.

And, i don't have to pay the clinic anymore money, as all my checkups, every three months will be done at CX. I wont have to wait on a waiting lists, like others who are just going to CX.

As i am trying to get with CX, also, they are going to see why i have waited so long and not even been sent my welcome pack.

Feel much better now.

[FTMDiaries]

Glad it went well and that you're feeling better as a result.

CX has a lot of cases on their books at the moment, so their wait times (both for new and existing patients) are very long, so it's not surprising if you haven't heard from them.

BTW, we aren't supposed to discuss dosages.

[Bardoux]

Albany was your old clinic and the new clinic in London was Charing Cross? Or a different clinic who will be passing you over to CX for checkups?
Also are you on hormones already?

Glad it went well for you

In regards to CX wait times, it took me many months to get the first appointment - as was expected - but what took me my surprise was the 6 months they scheduled for the next appointment.

[bethanyjadefowell]

So everyone understands. The two doctors i saw yesterday, both work at CX Monday to Friday (but do private appointments on a Saturday. I will be seeing the second doctor at CX for checkups.

I don't have to wait for my first appointment at CX, as I've already had my first three appointments (like u have at CX) (yesterday, over two hours).

I will just get an appointment for a checkup in three months, as i will of started HRT before than.

I was on HRT with Albany, but wrong dose.

[Bardoux]

by wrong dose can i ask too low or too high?
And how did you manage to see CX doctors privately?

sorry for the barrage of questions, just this information would be very useful

[bethanyjadefowell]

Ill message you when i am home, with all the information.

[Bardoux]

thanks hun