New Here, just starting out need some help :)

[spacial]

Elle. This is all wonderful.

It's so good to hear and I am thrilled for you.

[Elle16]

Elle I hope I didn't offend you in some way in the earlier post. You followed my post with quite a rant like you were upset at me for my post.

No I wasn't mad at anyone honest, it's my dad. I spent a good amount of time crying last night as I often find I hate myself for being stuck in this position - despite feeling positive and happy about what I'm doing. My mum and I had a little thing last night, she isn't keen on me wearing her clothes but I'm going to be getting new stuff from Ebay next week, more my style etc. excited about that!!

Todays a new day and all is forgotten, I'll probably never speak to my dad again - he's in denial and always will be...
At my last job I'm pretty certain quite a few co-workers knew I wanted to be a girl but I was so messed up and wouldn't say anything...

I know there's sometimes doubts but I also know I have to do this to be happy in myself, looking in the mirror isn't anywhere near as bad as it was years ago when I was younger and totally messed up. I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere, I feel calm most of the time - something I haven't had in ages.

Also the hair removal cream I bought totally works!! I'm so glad my skin is smooth and silky for the first time in ages. I hate my facial hair it's a nightmare to live with - eve as a boy I shaved like every day cause it drove me mental, lol! 

Thanks again for all the support, you guys and gals are fab! xx

[misschievous]

Did you use Nair? if so make sure you be careful and especially don't on your face. I did that first time on my face along with rest of body and I got a chemical burn on face. did Nair on my body a few times after and last time I did my legs started to get warm like it was about to burn.. I wiped off right away and took a 30 minute cold shower. Didn't end up with chemical burn but I think it might have...... Also I couldn't stand the smell and it was stuck in my cloths ever since and I had to throw away those cloths.


Sorry I thought you were lashing out at me... I have been kinda emotional this past week :p

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

Here's the NHS's latest advice to doctors about how to treat trans patients. It gives some good advice on the pathway they have to follow, what treatments are available, and it also tells you what to expect at the clinics. It's worth a read: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Documents/gender-dysphoria-guide-for-gps-and-other-health-care-staff.pdf

Wow, thanks again FTMdiaries. there is some interesting reading in there. :-)

[FTMDiaries]

Wow, thanks again FTMdiaries. there is some interesting reading in there. :-)

Isn't there just? I've always believed that 'forewarned is forearmed' and this document gives an excellent insight into what we should expect from the NHS.

[Elle16]

I used the Louis Marcel one, it really works! Still have to shave under my chin. It's nice haiving smooth skin for once, always hated that stubbly feeling on my face...

Haven't used Nair as it's quite strong as you say - I shave my underarms and body hair off as it's easier atm.

Can't wait till Thursday, probably my last councelling session for the moment. I'm pretty happy for just now, living daily as myself and getting my thoughts together on the future 

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I have just been told that Nottingham have started accepting referrals from primary care.

[Elle16]

Just a wee update

Looking into laser hair removal for my upper lip. £180 for 6 sessions - going for a test in two weeks time.

I'm wondering now that I'm looking for work should I tell possible employers that I'm transgender or not?

[FTMDiaries]

Interesting that you should ask that... I came across a beauty of a document the other day: a guide from the Equality & Human Rights Commission on how the Equality Act 2010 affects employers. It's another cracking read - very long but very detailed and it gives you some good advice about what is & what isn't protected in the workplace (just search it for the word 'gender'): http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/uploaded_files/EqualityAct/employercode.pdf

You'll see that you're protected from discrimination based on your trans status even if you haven't told your employers that you're trans. How awesome is that?

My rule of thumb is to not disclose on your CV/cover letter or during the interview stage; but you might want to disclose after you have a written offer of employment, at least to the Personnel department so that they can make sure you're not discriminated against.

[Elle16]

Interesting that you should ask that... I came across a beauty of a document the other day: a guide from the Equality & Human Rights Commission on how the Equality Act 2010 affects employers. It's another cracking read - very long but very detailed and it gives you some good advice about what is & what isn't protected in the workplace (just search it for the word 'gender'): http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/uploaded_files/EqualityAct/employercode.pdf

You'll see that you're protected from discrimination based on your trans status even if you haven't told your employers that you're trans. How awesome is that?

My rule of thumb is to not disclose on your CV/cover letter or during the interview stage; but you might want to disclose after you have a written offer of employment, at least to the Personnel department so that they can make sure you're not discriminated against.

Thank you FTMDiaries

I'm going out again today to councelling - dressed in my old clothes as mum doesn't like me wearing hers. Still with my bra and panties on and light makeup. My pink hat and bangels on - the most femanine jeans I can find in my wardrobe and my purple hoodie.

Last week felt great but wearing the extension pieces made me feel less me - my hair is so short and I just want it to grow. I don't have any patience lol! I also felt alittle weird in that I wore my mums clothes and although they were fine - it's not really my style...

How long does the Gender Clinic take to get appointments going? I've been over a week and not had any word so far... think I'll give them a ring myself to find out if I'm in their system.

[bunyip]

Looking into laser hair removal for my upper lip. £180 for 6 sessions - going for a test in two weeks time.

Don't expect laser to get everything. Ask the professional how to deal with the area and follow the advice.

You'll probably have to get electrolysis for the really stubborn hairs which stings on the upper lip.

I'm wondering now that I'm looking for work should I tell possible employers that I'm transgender or not?

Depends upon your time frame. If your interviewed as Fred and intend presenting as Jane from the following sunrise then not telling the potential boss might be considered a touch unfair. But if the presentation change is months away I would suggest that you prove yourself as a valuable employee before telling the employer.

Bear in mind that when you change your name your work history disappears unless you are willing to put Jane formerly Fred on your resume as has been suggested (and rejected) to me.

[misschievous]

Haven't used Nair as it's quite strong as you say - I shave my underarms and body hair off as it's easier atm.

It is really strong and it doesn't last long. It didn't take long for the hair to grow back. As for the chemical burn on my face, I had to shave for a week with that on and it hurt. I decided that I am just going to wait until my Electrolysis to rid myself of body and facial hair. I can't wait!!!!!   

[Elle16]

Don't expect laser to get everything. Ask the professional how to deal with the area and follow the advice.

You'll probably have to get electrolysis for the really stubborn hairs which stings on the upper lip.

Depends upon your time frame. If your interviewed as Fred and intend presenting as Jane from the following sunrise then not telling the potential boss might be considered a touch unfair. But if the presentation change is months away I would suggest that you prove yourself as a valuable employee before telling the employer.

Bear in mind that when you change your name your work history disappears unless you are willing to put Jane formerly Fred on your resume as has been suggested (and rejected) to me.

Isn't laser the best treatment though? Spending £180 isn't exactly a luxuary for me atm - I could buy clothes, shoes and accessories off that money but I thought it'd be better spent on my facial hair. The area above my lip is annyoying - I cannot stand having to shave and pluck any more. I was sure laser would be the best treatment for me - the lady assures me it'll take only 6 sessions and the hair won't come back.
I aslo asked how painful it'll be and she replied "it's like a rubber band snapping against your skin..." - that sounds really painful!! 

If I can't take the pain I'll have to look into electrolysis as my only other option. The hair on my face isn't that bad tbh - it's stubborn but I've been using the Louis Marcel hair remover cream and it's made things alittle easier to manage. I still have to shave which is the Most annoying thing ever! I hate shaving as it breaks my skin and causes those wee bumps...

That's really why I looked into laser, I'm hopeful it'll ridd me of this hair for good - then my confidence can shine through.

I'm currently debating the work situation. I had a discussion with my councellor about it and he said I could go in male persona until I feel comfortable being the woman I know I am. But in all honesty starting on the job centre as Mr then changing to Miss is really not something I want to do... I've had a few jobs in customer service but I don't know if I'd want to do that again anyway...

Walking back from councelling the other day was another strange one too. I had to look out my most femanine jeans... needless to say these were not flattering on me in the slightest! And I have to wear guys shoes as I can't find any woman's size 12's that fit me...
With my makeup on, hair hidden under my pink hat and no extensions - who knew what I looked like... But again I was able to look people in the eye - this is really surprising as I always walk with my head down, so there's pride in me being seen as becomming a woman.

I've also said about how quickly things are moving and maybe it's best to slow things down a tad. I want my family to accept me as I am - but always dressing in mums clothes, wearing tons of makeup etc. just isn't me really. I cannot wait for my tops and make-up from Ebay to come in the next few days, so excited about that!! It's great to re-discover my own style and look afterall these years.

I don't think I'll ever use Nair or wax... that's too painful!

Going to see what happens with the hair removal test, if I survive it

[bunyip]

Laser is the quicker treatment, by a lot. But it does not work well on lighter or blonde hairs. These would have to be removed with electolysis. And saying either hurts should get the setting turned down, a the cost of possible reduced effectivness.

I'm not aware of other treatments working for hair removal.

Try buying your cloths from a second hand stores. They are cheaper and you can try them on to ensure they fit before buying them. Doing so will also help with your confidence.

[Elle16]

Thanks xx

I've thought about second hand shops too, you get some nice clothes in there from time to time.

1 week today till I go for the laser test... *gulp*
I'm thinking I might ask how often they have offers on at the salon, wanting to get other areas done soon after. The £180 is a special price - £30 per session now as it's normally £50...

[Elle16]

I am currently researching on the IPL equipment - several MTFs here swear by IPL epilators that they do the same as the laser, while not burning Your skin. Essential requirements are the same - You need light skin and dark hair. In the long run, home laser is better, since You own the equipment and do not need anything else (the new Tria 2013 from the States costs around 600 USD plus shipping plus stupid VAT/customs charges...), whereas for the IPL You would need to replace the cartridges/lamps. The standard capacity is ~ 1000 flashes, but new Silk'n'Sense Flash and Go Lux comes with extra precision lamp with 5000 flashes, which should be quite enough for my face and it costs around 230 GPB... So I am slowly leaning towards the IPL... 
May I ask what effect does that Louis Marcel creme have and how long it lasts?

I've looked into home systems too but the cost is quite expensive - I'd rather get everything done in the salon, by a professional and know that my skin etc. isn't at risk.

The Louis Marcel cream is good - it definetly moves that hair further up the shaft ready to fall out. It's not so good around my neck area where the hair is very thick and coarse. I still have to shave every couple of days but my skins soft and nice for a while, which makes me very happy. I's more about the lip area for me, I can still see that shadow under my make-up and it's very, very annoying. If I get rid of that hair I'm sure I'll be alot happier