Deception

[krakenshay]

So I live in place where I am not out but the people I am meeting now all call me he. It's people (work folk and students in the city) I have known prior to transitioning that still call me she.

My roommates call me he, and treat me like a dude. The guys I want to dj with also read me as male.
I am concerned about worlds colliding. While I feel I am not being deceptive in not disclosing my trans status, I think they may. At the same time I don't feel like meeting people and being like hey I'm shay and, I have an inverted penis . I just want my energy and myself to shine through.
I guess this isn't so much what should I do. In so much as it is, has anyone experienced this sort of situation?

[randomroads]

There's absolutely no reason you ever have to talk about your sex organs. If someone overhears someone else calling you 'she' all you have to do is tell them that you had a hormonal imbalance when you were younger but that your correct gender has always been HE and it makes you sad when the other folks call you 'she'. Most people don't want to ask details of medical conditions because it's socially rude and awkward. If they do you can just deflect to another topic and they'll get the hint.

[Adam (birkin)]

I have said that before. I had someone who was asking why everyone thought I was a woman, so I told her I had a medical condition and was taking hormones - and that the people who thought I was female saw me before I began. That's not a lie, I do have a medical condition, it is being treated with hormones, and prior to said hormones people saw me as female. I never claimed to be.

[krakenshay]

I have said that before. I had someone who was asking why everyone thought I was a woman, so I told her I had a medical condition and was taking hormones - and that the people who thought I was female saw me before I began. That's not a lie, I do have a medical condition, it is being treated with hormones, and prior to said hormones people saw me as female. I never claimed to be.

There's absolutely no reason you ever have to talk about your sex organs. If someone overhears someone else calling you 'she' all you have to do is tell them that you had a hormonal imbalance when you were younger but that your correct gender has always been HE and it makes you sad when the other folks call you 'she'. Most people don't want to ask details of medical conditions because it's socially rude and awkward. If they do you can just deflect to another topic and they'll get the hint.

The medical condition response is perfect. If anything comes up that will be my go to response.

Thanks guys!

[aleon515]

You have the right to as much or as little disclosure as you want (or need). You are not being deceptive, after all the guys you are with, do they let you know of their cisgender status? "I was born a dude in the right body". 
I agree with the medical condition idea if you should need it. I think about this one: "Hey, you've heard  of low T?"

--Jay

[Arch]

I have developed a few responses in case some student sees Rate My Professors reviews that use female pronouns for me. An obvious one is that I teach a lot of students who don't speak English as a first language. In fact, I have a student now who consistently mixes up "he" and "she." But I digress.

I also thought of these responses:

I used to be very androgynous-looking.
I used to have a hormone deficiency and was very androgynous-looking.
I used to mess around with gender a lot (and was very androgynous-looking!!!).
I used to be a little confused about my gender.
I tried living as a woman for a while. Obviously, it didn't work out.
Ugh, I hate it when my gay students call me "she"!

[Jamie D]

So I live in place where I am not out but the people I am meeting now all call me he. It's people (work folk and students in the city) I have known prior to transitioning that still call me she.

My roommates call me he, and treat me like a dude. The guys I want to dj with also read me as male.
I am concerned about worlds colliding. While I feel I am not being deceptive in not disclosing my trans status, I think they may. At the same time I don't feel like meeting people and being like hey I'm shay and, I have an inverted penis . I just want my energy and myself to shine through.
I guess this isn't so much what should I do. In so much as it is, has anyone experienced this sort of situation?

Trade you an "outie" for an "innie" 

[Arch]

Trade you an "outie" for an "innie" 

I went to all of this trouble to come out, yet I still have an innie...

[sneakersjay]

I am 5 years into transition.  I look like a dude.  I get naked and look like a dude.  I have a few scars.

I work with this woman very rarely, but every single shift I hear her refer to me as she.  I ignore her, but it makes her look like an idiot.

The other day it was she this and she that.  Irritating.

I never disclose any more; the only people I will disclose to are intimate partners I plan on being in a relationship with.  The rest have no need to know.

[Adam (birkin)]

I work with this woman very rarely, but every single shift I hear her refer to me as she.  I ignore her, but it makes her look like an idiot.

Ouch...did she know you before or something? =/ Even if she did know you before, that's honestly ridiculous, talk about stubborn!

[Liminal Stranger]

Yep, medical condition is a great response. Due to a bit of a screw-up in coding a nurse accidentally put down that I have testicular hypofunction. I think they fixed it and put in the right thing (hypoglycemia, somebody thought a 1 was a 7) but hey, it works and I'll take it 

[sneakersjay]

Ouch...did she know you before or something? =/ Even if she did know you before, that's honestly ridiculous, talk about stubborn!

Yes, she did.  I think she's just clueless and doesn't think about it at all.  The few times I called her out on it in the past, she says Oh, sorry.  Or denies doing it.  I think she's totally unaware.  I did cure my boss of it as he's older and I  told him clients would think he was senile if he didn't stop.  Never had another problem from him. LOL

That's why I just ignore her now.  Anyone listening will just think she's a blithering idiot.


Jay

[sneakersjay]

Trade you an "outie" for an "innie" 

Funny because when I was younger I would have been thrilled to be a girl with a penis!  Funny how all you ladies dislike them.    I could have tolerated being F if I had male bits underneath.  I even could have tolerated my boobs.  Oh, well.  Until it's easy to swap parts like we're automobiles, I guess we're pretty stuck with what we're dealt.


Jay