Presenting male on HRT

[Shantel]

I think what I will do is try to see if I can talk to a legal aid center to see how exactly how I should approach it to have the chips fall in my favor. I'd like to get every advantage I can. I'm sure they will have some advice and will have known or be able to contact someone who knows what to do.

Good plan!

Really I can't thanks everyone enough for your responses. It really means a lot to me and I really appreciate it.

You're worthy of our sisterly love and concern, you are one of us and your life and happiness is important too. Be sure and look in the mirror each day and repeat that because it's true. xoxo

[Megan S]

Joanna,
You should be very proud of your honesty here. I would translate your honesty to telling your probation officer. His main goal is to make sure you remain within the bounds of your court ordered probation. You not disclosing your transition can be looked at as you hiding something, or trying to fraud the court, which we all know is not your goal. The best thing in my opinion is to be open with him, tell him you are transitioning, fill him in on your goals, tell him where you get your hormones, provide a letter if necessary, if you are in therapy it will help you and make him feel even more comfortable, be candid and open about it, let him see you as a real person. He needs to know you are being truthful to him, despite it being a difficult thing to talk about. If he finds out on his own, it was raise red flags all over the place, and he will wonder whether you are hiding more from him and the court. The last thing you need is for your probation officer to find it out on his own. Go in strong, be truthful, fulfill your probation requirement, and move on with your life. Both you and your probation officer will be more comfortable with it all being out in the open.
Good luck and stay strong.

[XchristineX]

When did being a girl start to get you thrown in jail...
Probation or not.   
Is your sexuality and gender identity illegal where you live?:

[Joanna Dark]

When did being a girl start to get you thrown in jail...
Probation or not.   
Is your sexuality and gender identity illegal where you live?:

Well you make a good point. No I don't think it is illegal lol I prob am more worried about it then needs be. I mean coming out to him would be good practice if nothing else as I don't think he has any choice but to be positive as I do have rights. I think. That and there is a very active LGBT community where I am from and locking someone up or even stopping them from transition would be looked at poorly, especially since I have a somewhat sympathetic plight. Well kinda. That and he generally likes me so there is that.

[Ltl89]

Joanna,

I think it is great that you are going to contact someone for legal assistance.  That is a great idea.  You could also try to contact your local ACLU chapter and see if you can get legal info from the Mazzoni.  Nonetheless, I highly doubt you have anything major to worry about.  If they were concerned about hrt, it would be included in the drug tests.  Plus, would they care if you got sick and had to take amoxicillin or an antibiotic? Really, I can't imagine that he would care.  Still, make sure to tell him soon.  You don't want to play your chances with the authorities.  While you do have rights, you don't want to get on the bad side of this guy by not telling him.  And if anything goes wrong, I will personally join the cause to free Joanna.  As a politically involved hippie I will help organize the movement,lol.  But in all seriousness, I think you will be okay.  Just take the proper precautions. 

Once again, it's awesome that you were able to come so far.  You are really strong to have gone through all that and serve as an inspirational member of our community.  Be proud of your accomplishments and look forward to all the one's you will have in your future. 

Good luck!!!

[Jamie D]

I am on informed consent. But I don't know if medically transitioning is allowed without his consent. I am pretty sure I would have to tell him first and then start hormones. I really don't know what he could do though. And I don't know how he would find out. It's not like the corrections system has money to go around trying to root out people who are secretly transitioning. Even writing that sounds silly. It causes no abnormality on drug tests as I have been tested since I started and nothing happened. He talks to me for like five minutes, asks how I am doing, makes sure I am not doing drugs, we talk about the Phillies and baseball, he gives me a oral swab drug test and he leaves.

The main thing is I just plain don't want to tell him. The only reason I have not been kicked out of my house right now is because I would be arrested for absconding and not reporting. It's a big no no. So the prospect of telling another person is scary given how my family is reacting. I feel like I am being conditioned to expect bad responses. But from what I have read it seems like they are trained to deal with this sort of thing.

I feel like I could lie forever but I hate lying and it makes me feel are dirty. And I am not doing anything wrong.

These are really questions for your legal representative.  I can not imagine the terms of your probation would disallow transitioning, nor disallow a name change.  As long as you meet the court ordered requirements, I see no issue.

Good luck.

[Randi]

Exactly!  Has anyone ever been arrested for illegal possession of boobs?

When did being a girl start to get you thrown in jail...
Probation or not.   
Is your sexuality and gender identity illegal where you live?:

[Miranda Catherine]

Joanna, you need to do parts of several posts, in my opinion. I would talk to a legal adviser in an LGBT office in your city or state, if possible, and find out what is allowed and the repercussions of transitioning, if any. I highly doubt if there are any at all, but I do know this; if you think they won't throw you into jail or a locked up drug rehab for repeated dirty tests, you're fooling yourself. If you detransition, I know you'll become strung out like a dog, because now you know who you really are, and see the real you in the mirror. I've seen photos of you and I don't know how he doesn't have a clue what's already going on in your life. You look female to me, and these probation officers are NOT stupid people, and most that I've ever had admire honesty, even if you admitted to them you're using, which I did and it kept me out of jail for awhile. Because of my GID and nothing else other than an injury just like you, I found opiates and they calmed my need to transition. I became a heroin addict for twelve years and went to prison in California twice, for two years, then 28 months the second time. I'd become that white trash with my addiction, becoming a shoplifter to support my habit when my knee no longer let me work construction. I was constantly trying to prove my manhood with sports, women, construction and taking chances with my body I'm still paying for by the minute. Don't detransition, Joanna, because I believe it could kill you. I know drugs can and that's how you'll relieve your gender dysphoria. I never hurt people, I hurt Home Depot, Home Club and probably put Builder's Emporium out of business all by myself. I hurt myself the most, though, for not transitioning at 23, when I first seriously began to, because I clearly knew then that this was the only way I'd ever be happy. Unfortunately, I hated myself for not being the man my father was. I'm now the woman my mother is and I'm finally happy and at peace. But I didn't begin transitioning until I was nearly 57, or living full time till I was 57, 34 years of heartache, self hatred, neglect and physical, emotional and spiritual pain I still wonder how I survived. Please don't detransition, ever, ever, ever!!!

[Joanna Dark]

If you detransition, I know you'll become strung out like a dog, because now you know who you really are, and see the real you in the mirror. I've seen photos of you and I don't know how he doesn't have a clue what's already going on in your life. You look female to me, and these probation officers are NOT stupid people

Oh I'm not going to detransition. Yeah I do look like a girl and that's the main reason I think I should tell him because after I get laser I can't hide behind facial hair. The thing is I was pretty andro beforehand so I'm not sure how noticable it'll be to people that knew me beforehand but then again I may be fooling myself.

I saw him today and I was going to tell him but then he told me in four months my probation will switch to non-reporting so that threw me through a loop and if that's the case I don't want to tell him since I won't ever see him again so why go thru all that trouble. I am going to consult legal aid. But today I also saw that my city will now cover SRS and give tax credits to businesses that offer it. So I have a lot to be excited about. I thought i'd have to report until the end of 2015. I'd be like 32. ack.

[Ltl89]

Oh I'm not going to detransition. Yeah I do look like a girl and that's the main reason I think I should tell him because after I get laser I can't hide behind facial hair. The thing is I was pretty andro beforehand so I'm not sure how noticable it'll be to people that knew me beforehand but then again I may be fooling myself.

I saw him today and I was going to tell him but then he told me in four months my probation will switch to non-reporting so that threw me through a loop and if that's the case I don't want to tell him since I won't ever see him again so why go thru all that trouble. I am going to consult legal aid. But today I also saw that my city will now cover SRS and give tax credits to businesses that offer it. So I have a lot to be excited about. I thought i'd have to report until the end of 2015. I'd be like 32. ack.

That's great that you don't have to report till 2015.  Still, to be on the safe side, please make sure you do consult a legal aid as you said.  It really isn't worth playing around with and you want to make sure you aren't in any trouble. 

As for being andro, people are still going to notice.  I mean you are transitioning.  It's impossible to hide it forever when you are actively making the changes.

By the way, what's this about SRS being covered?  Is this just philly or statewide?  God, I might have to move soon,lol.

[Joanna Dark]

Just Philly.