Passing on the family jeans (genes)

[Luc]

So I'm going to put this out there, as a member of the forums for awhile, with the fear that I may be chastised for my thoughts on this subject. However, I need some input.

I am an ftm, married to an mtf. Both of us are young and healthy, and will soon be financially stable. We both love children, and while we've talked of adopting, things would be much easier if we just tried for genetic offspring. Neither of us has any reason to think we might be infertile... I have not been on T, and she has been off HRT for a long while. However, I am a little scared of the whole pregnancy bit.

I have told her I'm on board if we do inadvertently become pregnant, but as far as planning, I don't know. Does anyone have any experience in this area? I mean, I am full-time and pass well, and my slightest consideration is that people will see a pregnant man walking around, but in the long term, I'm really just afraid that pregnancy and the hormonal changes that accompany it might thrust me into a dysphoric hell I might never recover from. Thoughts? Opinions? I'd really appreciate them.

Dean

[J.T.]

Well you could have biological children without having to carry, so you won't have to worry about all the hormonal problems.  Pregnancy wreaks havoc on a woman's system.  Emotionally, physically, hormonally. It could be too risky to get pregnant... better to be safe than sorry.  You've got to take the baby into consideration, if you did carry the kid to term and there were consequences you could not deal with, you may unintentionally blame the kid for the rest of its life.  Is that worth the risk?  You CAN have biological kids without getting pregnant.

Not to mention being a pregnant man walking around... you don't see that every day.

[Nero]

Hey Dean,
We talked a bit about this earlier, man, and I think you should go for it. There's nothing like having a child to pass on your own unique genes, a child that looks like you. I'm sure that any hormonal hell or dysphoria will be worth it once you see the product of you and your wife's love. Good luck, bro.

Nero

[scurvydog]

There are a lot of people who would disapprove of this, but those people are ignorant and stupid, so if you come across them, take no notice. I personally couldn't do this, not because I feel it makes someone any less of a man, but because pregnancy sounds terrifying anyway. I think it means a lot to some people to carry on their name and such, although I don't share the sentiment myself.

If you and your wife decide its what you want to do, and there won't be any complications, then go for it. And I agree with ht on that you don't have to have the child yourself, that you can find someone to carry it, but that could have a whole range of other issues. You'd have to go through the legal side as well as possibly pay for the woman to act as a surrogate.

Like I say, I haven't thought of this in great depth, and I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment, but have a long, hard think about it and remember to consider the bad as well as the good.

[Luc]

Yeah... we've talked surrogates, but it would be too complicated. There's too many legal and financial things involved, and it would be insane.

[myles]

Greetings- I can't help you with the side effects of pregnancy (haven't been there). My kids are adopted and I understand what you are saying about the surrogate and adoption is well, not as easy as I think it should be. I just wanted to say I think if you want to start a family don't let anything stop you it's amazing and the best thing I have ever done. There are always things that I  kept thinking would be confusing or a concern to them but  all the things  I thought would freak my kids out they could care less about. They  just need positive parents who love them and that is all that maters. So if your willing to let your body go for nine months I think the reward is pretty amazing!
Good luck on your journey no matter what you decide!
Myles