Empathy ! What does it mean to you ?

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

Empathy ! What does it mean to you ?

Going through transition life can be tough, perhaps people push your emotion buttons quite easily, I see this quite often on this and other forums and on the odd occasion have been on the receiving end of another's wroth...Being trans and going through the transition can (and often does) put ones nerves on a razor's edge, this is understandable considering the emotional turmoil some find themselves in...

However this thread is to bring to the fore the topic of "Empathy" to get the minds ticking over in an empathic way....

If somebody's nasty to you, do you ever stop to think what has happened in that person's day/life to make them so grumpy ? Or are you trigger-happy and come out guns blazing    

In other words are you somewhat short tempered 'act first-think later'...

Or do you take into consideration the possibility that the person's not really angry with you, they are having(or had) a real bad day and you just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back-the wrong place at the wrong time- and bear the brunt of the person's wroth ...

Metta Zenda

   

[Jamie D]

Interesting topic, Zenda.  I am quite sure many will conflate the concept of "empathy" with "compassion" or "sympathy."  Simply put, empathy is the ability to put yourself in another's shoes.  Or being able to identify with another's feelings.  It is a quality of awareness.

It is possible to empathize without being sympathetic or compassionate.

[Cindy]

I have quite a large staff and interact with many medical professionals and to a more limited degree direct patient contact.

Empathy is all I have to help understand how stressed out colleagues, patients in despair and my staff working themselves to the bone in an economic meltdown keep on going. I do try to sit in their body and be aware of the horror they face, and not to let my concerns dominate. I find this much easier than he did, I'm not sure he was ever empathetic, he was too tied up in his despair.

Sadly I also have a temper that I try to keep under lock and key, but sometimes it escapes; particularly if someone insults me or in particular those who I love; then Hell have no fury like Cindy.

[Kiwi4Eva]

I use empathy to understand...people who come from different cultures, different ages, sexes, and beliefs.  I'm not the same person I used to be as I am 55 now and behind me comes 55 years of events and experiences.  I would be a survivor, and with that comes a certain amount of empathy.

[Edge]

Being aware that something is going on in the other person's life doesn't preclude coming out guns blazing. Just because someone is having a bad day does not mean they are allowed to take it out on me or anyone else. It does not mean that I or anyone else has to put up with it. In fact, doing so would be a disservice both to us and them since it would teach them that it is ok to treat us that way and that such behaviour is acceptable.

[eli77]

It is possible to empathize without being sympathetic or compassionate.

That comment resembles me, Jamie!

I happen to have gotten a talent for empathy through the genetic lottery. But it's just a tool like any other. Can use it to make someone feel better, or you can use it to prey on someone's vulnerabilities, or you can use it to figure out where your girlfriend REALLY wants to go for dinner. *Shrug* It is what you make of it.

Also, just having the talent doesn't always help. Not everything can be fixed or changed or controlled. And sometimes, for me anyway, the noise can get so loud in groups of people that I'm totally paralyzed. Sadly, my copy doesn't seem equipped with an off switch.

[vegie271]

Sorry to say, it depends on what has been going on in my life, if I have had a really horrible day myself and we both cross paths empathy is difficult (I mean they are not considering my bad day either so they are no better than me in this aspect) plus I just recently suffered a hate crime. Things have been going terribly wrong for about 5 full years just continually piling up, really hard to maintain a positive attitude but I continue to try AND consider others, even when all of what I thought were friends abandoned me.

[StellaB]

What does empathy mean to me?

It's very simple. Empathy is the polar opposite of anger.

Empathy is understanding that someone else's pain, suffering or struggle is just as important as your's.

There's a significant number of people out there in the world who don't have empathy. They appear to have some degree of emotional empathy but there's not much empathy for someone autistic who's going ballistic because they're experiencing sensory overload. Nor is there much empathy for someone trans who's just starting out on their transition and who needs reassurance from others that they're still going to be acceptable as a human being as they progress through their journey.

But if you don't have control of your emotions, if you cannot overcome the most distressing thoughts and feelings and if you cannot show empathy you're not going to achieve anything meaningful in life. Life is defined by our choices, our actions and the relationships we form with others. Being attractive is beneficial, being intelligent is useful, but being empathic is essential.

Experiencing loss and suffering can teach you empathy, if you choose to learn it.

[Shantel]

I am able to empathize with someone when I take myself out of the center of things and put the other person in the center and listen with an open mind and heart, it's about them and not about me. When a person trusts and shares intimate things, I need to be able enter into and feel what they are experiencing as well.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

This short film link has been posted in two other sections of Susan's forum... It's funny how we often can't stop ourselves empathising with others even if we have not actually experienced what they are going through...

WARNING! WATCH AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION !

You will feel what she feels whether you want to or not...




Metta Zenda