Talk with ex WOW!!

[Just Shelly]

A little background first....I have been divorce for 7 years now. I have joint custody of my children and attend many of their school functions.

A few weeks ago I was at my sons concert...I did not have my children that week so I attended alone....I found him after the concert walking with his mother and went up to tell him he did a nice job. I had not seen my ex for about 2 months since she doesn't attend all the kids events. As I was talking with him, she did acknowledge me but was a little indifferent...nothing new. She warmed up a bit and we chit chatted some on the way out.

The next week when my children were with me, my one son told me that my ex told him after seeing me that she didn't expect that!! This was nothing new...even though she has accepted my transition she treats it as some form of midlife crisis. She has seen me at other events and I looked no different then before except for the fact I had dyed my hair recently. I took this comment as her just being in la la land and not realizing that this is now my life.

I recently had a talk with my ex the other day...come to find out that what she meant by that comment was that she didn't know who I was!!!  😮 It took her about 2 minutes to realize I was her ex....she thought I was just some woman congratulating her son!!!

We talked some more and even though she doesn't understand what I am doing....she is accepting in her own way.  I asked her if I appear as any other woman (I have only asked one person this before) not knowing what words to say she told me....I completely  made the switch 100%.....I pulled it off!!...she added she would never of known it was me if my son didn't tell her!!! WOW!!

This is a woman that I have made love too and had been with for over ten years....she has seen me from the start of my transition to where I am now. We haven't seen each other as much in the last 6 months but her new husband has. I guess my darker hair color confirms my gender even further!! I wouldn't have been as shocked if it wasn't someone that knew me that well. I have seen many people I was once friends with and they have no clue who I am...I always feel somewhat paranoid that they really do know me but just don't say anything....and then I feel bad that I don't tell them who I was!! I guess its true that they have no clue!!

I may post a before and after in the Just for Us....see if anyone can tell the difference

[Beth Andrea]

That is awesome! I hope to be able to do that someday... 😉

[Joanna Dark]

Great story!

Once HRT kicks in some more I'd like to see my ex. Mainly because she said I'd make an ugly woman, though she thought I'd pass 100 percent with no problems. She said I would never get a second glance and I'm good looking as is. But she didn't know anything about HRT and was talking about what I would like if I basically presented pre-HRT. People think you just get a sex-change and don't think about hormones. Joe Rogan and the MMA crowd is evidence of this. I hate MMA though so I am biased. It's so boring. And I'm a big baseball fan so it is not like I dislike sports totally.

[Ltl89]

That's really great Shelly.  When your ex wife doesn't place you, that is really saying something.  Seriously, I'm a bit shocked that someone who knew you so intimately didn't realize it was you.  You must have made some great progress. Congrats. 

Once HRT kicks in some more I'd like to see my ex. Mainly because she said I'd make an ugly woman, though she thought I'd pass 100 percent with no problems. She said I would never get a second glance and I'm good looking as is. But she didn't know anything about HRT and was talking about what I would like if I basically presented pre-HRT.

Just a quick tangent, but I would  recommend you stay away from your ex unless you feel prepared emotionally to see her.  It seems she really hurt you and left you feeling greatly rejected.  Seeing her again could bring up some painful memories.  Since you have no reason to continue contact, you may want to consider keeping it that way. Sometimes relationships and friendships run their course.  After how she treated you in the end, it would be understandable if you still have some sour feelings. Of course, you know better than anyone how things were and what the proper course of action for you will be.  Good luck either way.

Sorry for the tangent, derailment over 🙂

[Joanna Dark]

Well she said she would get back with me if I changed. So when I see her, I'll ask: is this enough of a change for you! Muwahahaha

I don't plan on seeing he though. But I still want to rub the fact that I am going to achieve all of my dreams in her face. And the fact I am becoming rather pretty. Ha. Ha. ha. I win.

She is married anyway but it will never change the fact she was going to marry me first and that makes her a lesbian in my eyes and everyone elses. That's how everyone referred to us as so it is not some fantasy of mine. I was actually rather shocked people saw me that way.

[Sadie]

I can relate to that Shelly.  My ex-wife however has seen me pretty regularly since I transitioned but did comment one day "That even she would not know I used to be her husband if she hadn't witnessed my transition."

[Shantel]

That's really great Shelly.  When your ex wife doesn't place you, that is really saying something.  Seriously, I'm a bit shocked that someone who knew you so intimately didn't realize it was you.  You must have made some great progress. Congrats. 

Shelly,
     I have to second that comment, that is absolutely incredible that she was unable to even recognize you, it speaks volumes as to the level of success you have achieved. I hope you do put up some pix in "Just for us" my own curiosity is just killing me now. This kind of success story can draw on my emotions just like a love story. I am always pleased to see someone achieve what you have with your life.

[Just Shelly]

That's really great Shelly.  When your ex wife doesn't place you, that is really saying something.  Seriously, I'm a bit shocked that someone who knew you so intimately didn't realize it was you.  You must have made some great progress. Congrats. 

YES!! I was shocked myself!! I think the biggest reason was that I colored my hair darker (darker then intended!!) and she hadn't seen me in a few months....actually only about a month...but maybe she didn't know it was me then too.

Yes this is very confirming but also I don't believe it myself at times!! I don't see myself as changing that drastically...but I guess I have??

I have had many encounters with people that knew me well and they never know who I am....I don't say anything since I am stealth (to a point) in fact I have numerous encounters for business reasons with an ex girlfriend of about 18 years back...at first I thought she knew but as time went by I realized she doesn't have a clue. She has asked and talked about things only another women would. I just wish I could take all of these instances as more confirmation...and for the most part I do....but there's that fear of them realizing one day!! This also just proves how much I have isolated myself the last few years.

Sometimes when feeling good about myself I'm always tempted to go out to certain places I know my once best friend (also best man at wedding) hangs out at..... just to see if he would hit on me....he was is quite the womanizer!!

I have posted B&A pics in the just for us....it doesn't seem to drastic as my hair is the same color and I also have shades on.

[Shantel]

I did post them in the Just for Us pic thread....let me know if you can now see them.

I'm going to remove them soon....don't like to have my face pic out in cyber space

TY Shantel!!

Yes, just was amazed! Posted the following:
OMG Shelly, there you are! You weren't an ugly man, but you are definitely a terrific cis looking woman. I would think you are those kids mom! Thanks for sharing and going the extra mile with this post. I am so pleased for you, this is so encouraging for many. You might edit your photo post and connect it to your other commentary explaining how after being divorced for ten years that your former wife didn't recognize you and took you for another cis female and one of your own kids had to clue her in. What a story, it needs to be told! ~Shan~

[Joanna Dark]

I did post them in the Just for Us pic thread....let me know if you can now see them.

I'm going to remove them soon....don't like to have my face pic out in cyber space

TY Shantel!!

It is a stunning change and I can see why she didn't recognize you. OMG! I hope one day I look a quarter or even a tenth as good as you.

[Shantel]

It is a stunning change and I can see why she didn't recognize you. OMG! I hope one day I look a quarter or even a tenth as good as you.

Maybe Shelly needs to drop the "Just" part off of her handle and go with "Totally Shelly" or "Shelly" what a gal huh?

[Just Shelly]

It is a stunning change and I can see why she didn't recognize you. OMG! I hope one day I look a quarter or even a tenth as good as you.

OMG that is such a nice thing to say!! You will get there!! trust me!! This didn't happen overnight...well maybe lol

many hours of laser, electro (still) skin care and some excercising...I also took things very slow and went full time about a year later then I could of....boy do I have stories of that time!!

I will admit its a big change but I don't feel very attractive and it seems men don't as well 🙁

[Just Shelly]

Maybe Shelly needs to drop the "Just" part off of her handle and go with "Totally Shelly" or "Shelly" what a gal huh?

Thank You!! you are way too nice!!

I am stealth...to a point. Only some people that need to know...know! other then that I just live a normal (boring) life of any other woman...except for dating 🙁

[Shantel]

Thank You!! you are way too nice!!

I am stealth...to a point. Only some people that need to know...know! other then that I just live a normal (boring) life of any other woman...except for dating

Yeah well I think you're pretty terrific and i am impressed lady! Going to bed now, sweet dreams mom!