Sexual Reassignment Surgery: Regret

[Lanalicious34]

I would like to know from the members here and please be 100% honest do any of you regret having srs?. I know people out there who get it done must feel this way and that its not all candy and roses. And wish maybe they should of kept that part of their body alone.

If you have had SRS and regret it please respond to this post. If you don't regret it please do not respond to this post.

[Devlyn]

I would like to know from the members here and please be 100% honest do any of you regret having srs?. I know people out there who get it done must feel this way and that its not all candy and roses. And wish maybe they should of kept that part of their body alone.

If you have had SRS and regret it please respond to this post. If you don't regret it please do not respond to this post.

Hon, don't be telling people not to post. It's on the members to stay on topic, it's on the Staff to see that they do, iit's on you to accept the replies that come. Hugs, Devlyn

[Sandy]

Lana:

I don't think you'll find many people post about regret.  Not that they would be unwilling, but if they truly regret, they'd probably leave Susan's.

I've been here a few years, and while there have been some that were initially unhappy with the results, they came to at least accept if not embrace their decision.

To my mind I only recall one vocal member who decried the results of their surgery.  She claimed that she looked like a firecracker had gone off in a pound of hamburger.  She had been told by one and all, including her surgeon, that she would look like "Franken-pussy" for a good six months before the swelling went down.  She expected too much too soon.

But even that wasn't so much regret of having it done, so much as regret that it didn't live up to her high expectations.

I might ask, why you are asking?  Are you fearful of getting the surgery and then having buyers remorse or something like that?  If so, it is not an unusual thought.  I think we all go through that.  I had a bit of that myself.  I had attained everything I wanted in my transition.  I was viewed by society as a woman.  And who would be seeing my goodies except me.  For me it was just the frosting on the cake.

Until I woke up after the surgery.

And then I felt completely and irrevocably female.  And from that point on, I had no regrets at all.

-Sandy

[Nicole]

never for 1 single second, not even with the pain at the start of the healing!

[Lanalicious34]

People regret things all the time including surgery's. For someone to say everything is roses and candy canes I think is kind of bs. Iv read online people have regreting there srs. Even not happy with the results or had major complications. I'm just wondering if anyone here regrets or wished they had thought it out better is all.

[Joanna Dark]

I read a study from Sweden that did follow-up on SRS. And the vast majority were happy and in the two groups there were two or three suicides out of 150-175. It is unknowable whether those deaths are related to SRS as many trans women (the study focused on MTFs) have issues beforehand. I'm sure most surgeries carry a small dissatisfaction rate. I am remember my best friend from childhood told me one day out of the blue that a lot of transsexuals kill themselves after surgery.  I think this is a myth and the vast majority are ecstatic. You can't please all the people all the time and some people have too high expectations.

[Nicole]

People regret things all the time including surgery's. For someone to say everything is roses and candy canes I think is kind of bs. Iv read online people have regreting there srs. Even not happy with the results or had major complications. I'm just wondering if anyone here regrets or wished they had thought it out better is all.

When I was a teen I would cry 3 or 4 times a day, I would never look anyone in the eye, barely speak to anyone and life just sucked.

At 16 I was on blockers, HRT at 18, SRS at 21.

Since the blockers I've only ever cried at break-ups, losing a loved one or being hurt, being over the moon happy or at a sad movie.
I look at everyone in the eyes, I talk too much and life just couldn't be better.
I've never wanted kids or at least carry a child.
I'm happy with my results and never had a complication other than the pain at the start of the healing, but knew that the pain was worth it.

I couldn't see myself as a man, I'm so happy to be alive and living my life the way I should be.

[Jenna Marie]

Nope.

Not roses and candy canes here, there were definitely some pretty unpleasant moments (and dilation remains a chore), and this thing is a heck of a lot more high-maintenance than a penis was even for people born with 'em.

But I wonder if it's like they say about childbirth - once enough time has passed, you forget the pain and just enjoy the new gift.

[Ltl89]

I think you will find that most people don't regret it, but they acknowledge that there are cons to the procedure as well.  I've haven't yet had srs, but I did have surgery in that region.  Yeah there were cons and lots of pain, but I didn't regret doing something I had to do for my health. While I am not at the point of SRS, I can't I imagine would regret it due to my dysphoria from trans issues and my previous medical issues which only intensified how I view that area.

In the end, I would advise you to think about this topic without the input of others.  We are all different.  Just because someone else was happy with it doesn't mean you will be.  And vice versa.  I think you are better off asking yourself if you would regret it.  Do you think you would?  If so, why?  If not, why?  There is no shame no matter what conclusion you draw.  Just be honest and follow your heart. 

[Tristan]

I will admit that at first I was very depressed and did regret srs but as time went on the post op depression went away. Now I have fully adapted I think and I'm really happy

[Joanna Dark]

Well I think Sweden would weed out the mistaken people cause don't they have pretty serious gatekeeping and like if you're not young and femme they don't let you transition medically?

(Sorry I am not that informed but please correct me if I'm wrong)

Yes you're right their process is cruelly strict and does not follow WPATH. I'm not sure about age (You have to be over 18 for HRT) but you do have to be not only femme but also strictly heterosexual. It doesn't sound like a very accepting place.

[Cindy]

I was told that post op depression is relatively common and keeping in touch with your therapist post op is recommended here. I don't think that is the same as regret however.

[Kiwi4Ever]

It was this thread (and my need to answer it) which has brought me back to Susan's...

I have regrets about a lot of things but my surgery isn't one of them.  Although I wish I had been born in more recent times, because what I got isn't nice...I have to say I don't know much about female vagina's, but enough to know what I got wasn't the best and is up for repair

Life is too short to have regrets.  I saw a television programme the other night about a woman who can no longer have sex.  She and her husband have tried.  She has two boys...A routine procedure went terribly wrong and she has 3rd degree burns to her insides.  She has since had a hysterectomy, and takes 60 tablets a day, and has put on over 20kg in weight.  Now I don't know what your quality of life is, but I know what her's is!

There is no reason to have regrets.  The glass is half full, not half empty.  It will be empty soon enough

Don't EVER give up!

[milktea]

 if there is any regret, it is my regret that i have to undergo the op in order to have an acceptable lifestyle in society...or at least that is what society made me feel. sort of like having six fingers and having to cut one off in order for people not to treat me like a freak.

[Tristan]

I was told that post op depression is relatively common and keeping in touch with your therapist post op is recommended here. I don't think that is the same as regret however.

I know . It was just odd. I was mad at everyone that pushed me to do it as it was the final step and was already mg feeling like it was such a mistake. But all of that was silly of me to think
Some days I still feel that way and I'm just like ," I so wish I was still a boy so I could stand and pee or do things guys have the freedom to do!.." But that's judge me being moody and resisting things sometimes haha

[Nicolette]

People regret things all the time including surgery's. For someone to say everything is roses and candy canes I think is kind of bs. Iv read online people have regretting their srs. Even not happy with the results or had major complications. I'm just wondering if anyone here regrets or wished they had thought it out better is all.

Do you mean regretting their choice of surgeon? I knew someone who had SRS, who then became disillusioned living permanently their fantasy life of a woman. They detransitioned, but that's transition regret.

[Cindy]

Do you mean regretting their choice of surgeon? I knew someone who had SRS, who then became disillusioned living permanently their fantasy life of a woman. They detransitioned, but that's transition regret.

I think some people have a perception that SRS will change all of their life problems, when in practice it changes their body parts and hopefully allows you to live as your true gender. I think that is where a good therapist is of gold.

A therapist can never judge if you are trans* or not, that is something only you know. A therapist helps you with the co-morbidities so you can live with your decision and all it entails.

[big kim]

I regret not having SRS til I was 37.I would have done it sooner if I had the confidence

[Nicolette]

I think some people have a perception that SRS will change all of their life problems, when in practice it changes their body parts and hopefully allows you to live as your true gender. I think that is where a good therapist is of gold.

A therapist can never judge if you are trans* or not, that is something only you know. A therapist helps you with the co-morbidities so you can live with your decision and all it entails.

Yes, there's no litmus test for trans. I'm extremely skeptical that one can even be diagnosed with GID by a third party. The bottom line is that one needs to be utterly honest with oneself to determine a diagnosis. A therapist can help and guide, but I wouldn't put my life in their hands, at the end of the day. We need to take responsibility for our own decisions. Anyway, as one can see, I've become quite cynical over the years.  Proceed with caution.

[MariaMx]

For all practical purposes srs changed very little in my life when I had it. I had already transitioned and was at the time living my life the way I always felt I should. srs was not the procedure that gave me my life.

By the time I got around to it I thought very little about. It was just something that needed to be done in order to cross the finish line. Sometimes at night I would have bouts of these "OMFG! This is happening for real!"-moments. I at times worried I might regret it. I didn't think I would, but I just couldn't be sure. As it turned out I would have no regrets. Surgery and recovery was hell, I wouldn't want to do it again but I would if I had to.

I am almost 8 years post-op now and the funny thing is I can't exactly remember what it was like before, so I don't really see how it would be possible to regret it at this point in time. Right now it pretty much feels like I was born like this. It's my natural state.

I shudder to think what life would be like without srs. I've had nightmares about waking up one morning to find myself reverted.