Frustrations and inpatience

[misschievous]

I am so lost. I feel like I need to get something going soon. I can't afford therapy, I can't afford Endo. I can hardly afford the house I am living in. I should be getting full time at my work soon Which includes insurance and a raise, but they haven't seemed to do anything towards getting me hired full time. Sometimes I think they don't want to and they are going to pass me up for someone with little experience in my job. I really want to start HRT soon or at least start therapy. I can't stand the hair on my face or body and I hate shaving because I don't seem to get it smooth and it leaves stubble. I can't afford Electrolysis. Besides getting full time at work, I have another plan to come up with the money. With the invention I had mentioned in another one of my posts, but I can't do anything to make that happen.  it seems that everytime I think I am a little ahead Something pushes me back. With my tax check I paid off my utility bills for an entire year so I would have an entire extra paycheck free and my mom decides she wanted to move back and she couldn't live with not having cable tv so she agrees to paying 100 a month in rent and I take care of cable bill since it was already in my name which meant instead of it being paid for an entire year the payments start back in August. Once I paid all my utilites I set up my collections to get paid on that extra pay date and that don't get paid off until July. that means the next (Extra pay check) after my collections are all paid the cable bill starts back up. When will I have the money to start anything? I NEED THERAPY, as I am depressed alot lately. I don't know how much longer I can take it before I crack. I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

[Ltl89]

There are some therapists that are willing to work on a sliding scale.  It wouldn't hurt to ask if they would be willing to take you as a patient under that program.  Also, hrt isn't too expensive itself.  The endo appointments probably are, but if you have an informed consent clinic near they should be willing to help.  I know how you feel though.  I've been waiting forever and I decided to just jump into action; however, I really don't have the means to do so.  I saved up some cash, but it's all expensive.  I have a job interview coming up so lets hope.  Is it possible to pick up an additional part time job?  It sucks I know, but at least you will have some additional cash to pay for things. 

[misschievous]

I looked into it and set up a therapist, the only one that worked with transgender issues that "offered" sliding scale, back in April. Over the phone she said that I didn't need to pay at the time of the appointment. She would work with me on pricing too. Then when I went in for the first appointment she said it would be $70 a session and once a week. I get paid every two weeks that would be $140 a paycheck. that is over half my paycheck. It is also about $100 more then I have left once my bills are paid. I decided oh well I should be getting full time with insurance in June, and there is this other therapist that is actually on some transgender websites lists that has the insurance company listed, So I can wait.

[Ltl89]

Yeah, 70 dollars is a bit steep.  If you want to wait, that's fine; however, the sound of your post seemed to contradict that.  There may be other therapists around you that may have experience with trans patients even if they aren't specializing in that area.  If you live near an lgbt center or group, you could ask if they could point you to a therapist.  Also, some of these places offer therapy and are generally much more flexible with the prices.  Also, if you want to jut go the hrt route immediatly, there are informed consent clinics.  They aren't too expensive from what I've heard and they are usually willing to work with low income patients.

[GendrKweer]

If you only make 140 per fortnight, do you qualify for any government assistance?? If you can find a therapist online, you can probably explain to them that you'll take hormones either way, and want to do it safely, and they'll get you a prescription under the theory that they should make sure you're proceeding in a safe way. I don't want to talk you out of therapy, longterm, but if you really can't afford a weekly session, getting only enough sessions to get on hormones might well have a hugely beneficial effect on your mental state. You'll effectively be stopping any further masculinization, and becoming chemically female. For many, that actually is enough without further surgery etc. Something to think about....

[misschievous]

Yeah, 70 dollars is a bit steep.  If you want to wait, that's fine; however, the sound of your post seemed to contradict that.  There may be other therapists around you that may have experience with trans patients even if they aren't specializing in that area.  If you live near an lgbt center or group, you could ask if they could point you to a therapist.  Also, some of these places offer therapy and are generally much more flexible with the prices.  Also, if you want to jut go the hrt route immediatly, there are informed consent clinics.  They aren't too expensive from what I've heard and they are usually willing to work with low income patients.

In April I thought I could handle it, the friends that I "came out too" and I were talking about going to a DMB concert in June and I was really excited and in really good spirits.I was excited that I finally knew what steps I needed to take aka HRT, FFS, SRR ect. I was also excited about getting the promotion at work in June, happy that I was getting my collections bills all caught up so my credit score would raise and I could possibly get a loan for my invention. Everything was going great. No biggie I have to wait a few more months, so I thought. 

   I am really thinking hard about the Informed Consent Clinics for HRT. Not sure if there is one around here but I can look into it. Thank You

If you only make 140 per fortnight, do you qualify for any government assistance?? If you can find a therapist online, you can probably explain to them that you'll take hormones either way, and want to do it safely, and they'll get you a prescription under the theory that they should make sure you're proceeding in a safe way. I don't want to talk you out of therapy, longterm, but if you really can't afford a weekly session, getting only enough sessions to get on hormones might well have a hugely beneficial effect on your mental state. You'll effectively be stopping any further masculinization, and becoming chemically female. For many, that actually is enough without further surgery etc. Something to think about....

I haven't really tried for government assistance, I will have to check into that. Explaining to the therapist might work I could try that out.


Thanks Both of you. You both gave me good things to think about.

[Ltl89]

If it helps, this link has some more information on informed consent  http://dl.dropbox.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Informed%20Consent%20Clinics.pdf

There is also a lot of information on this site and the main forum if you look for it.  I know how you feel having been there myself.  And even though I'm progressing, I'm still sort of in the same spot as you.  You'll get there.  Just don't focus on FFS and SRS at the moment.  You'll be driving yourself crazy if that's your first step,lol. 

[misschievous]

Thanks LTL I looked through that form, It is all things I already knew about. Now all I need is an endo that will work with the consent form and low income


Give yourself a big hug, since I can't give you one

[JoanneB]

The absolute best therapy I got was from the support and love from my TG group. The cost was absolutely no $$$$. All I needed to do was to be there, share and try to help others by offering a glimpse into my life. 

[misschievous]

The absolute best therapy I got was from the support and love from my TG group. The cost was absolutely no $$$$. All I needed to do was to be there, share and try to help others by offering a glimpse into my life. 

I looked into the local LGBT center and emailed the coordinator, last month, and she said that they meet every 3rd Wednesday and when it came around I was too chicken to go. Afraid that someone might recognize me walking into the building. I hope I can get up the courage to go this month.

In my email I asked for a list of therapists, Endocrinologists, electrologists ect in the area and she didn't give me any information except that they meet every 3rd Wednesday and that she would have to look into her books for information.  She never got back with me.

[Ltl89]

This may not help, but here is a list of trans friendly endocrinologists http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_endocrinologist_list.htm
By the way, if you are near an informed consent center, they usually have endocrinologists working there.  I live in New York and Callen-Lorde is the main thing here.  I know that people get there prescriptions directly from the center (I believe they have an in house pharmacy).  I imagine other LGBT health centers are similar.

Don't worry about going to those meetings.  If you see someone you know, they are in the same boat.  That can only be a good thing.  Also, you could try going with some friends for emotional support.  My friends often accompany me to my support group and it has made me feel a lot better about it. 

P.S. the list I shared is incomplete.  There are many other doctors that will work with you if you try.  For example, I know plenty of trans friendly endo (including my own) that are not on this list.  But it's a good starting point.

[misschievous]

Well, that is reassuring I am from Indiana and there are none on that list. I think I might have to go to Chicago for it. If I don't have to go every week and make it every month I guess that would work. I am going to check into that this week Wish Me Luck

[Ltl89]

 Indiana

Rodney J. Anderson, D.O.
1300 N PENNSYLVANIA ST STE 200
INDIANAPOLIS IN 46202
1317 968 0409
Does primary care but will prescribe and monitor hormones.
Anna says: 'One of the finest doctors I've ever been to see. Dr Anderson works with quite a few transsexuals, and is VERY experienced with us.'

The information above is from T vox.  I can't vouch for him myself, but hopefully the info is good.  Please remember though that you will still most likely need an hrt letter. 

Wishing you all the luck I can

[misschievous]

Indiana

Rodney J. Anderson, D.O.
1300 N PENNSYLVANIA ST STE 200
INDIANAPOLIS IN 46202
1317 968 0409
Does primary care but will prescribe and monitor hormones.
Anna says: 'One of the finest doctors I've ever been to see. Dr Anderson works with quite a few transsexuals, and is VERY experienced with us.'

The information above is from T vox.  I can't vouch for him myself, but hopefully the info is good.  Please remember though that you will still most likely need an hrt letter. 

Wishing you all the luck I can

Hey I think I know where that is and Thanks for actually looking that up for me

[misschievous]

I looked into him on a few web sites and one had him listed as retired. :/ Well I am going to call anyways and find out. I was looking into a clinic around here too. nothing seemed to be said on any website about them being tg friendly or anything but that I guess that is how the list grows. one person trying out a new doctor it works good they post it on site.

[misschievous]

Just kind of afraid going to an endo that isn't used to dealing with transgenders. He or she wouldn't know the right path to go on HRT.

[Ltl89]

Like I said before, there are plenty of endos that aren't on the list.  I know at least 3 near my area  that aren't on it.  And they are all trans friendly.  You will find someone.  Still, you will need the hrt letter before they would be willing to work with you.

[misschievous]

Thanks LTL I really appreciate all your help

[aleon515]

I looked into the local LGBT center and emailed the coordinator, last month, and she said that they meet every 3rd Wednesday and when it came around I was too chicken to go. Afraid that someone might recognize me walking into the building. I hope I can get up the courage to go this month.

I agree. I love my support group. Most people runnign them are volunteers. They may not be so good at follow up and so on, but if you go in person you might be able to get info (and probably will). Remember that in a support group, everyone comes in and they are shy about it. It took me a few months to get the courage up to go to the trans center and then more to go to group. Every time we have a new person they say how ti took them time to get up the courage to get there. Just do it, and I don't think you will regret it.


--Jay

[misschievous]

It isn't really being afraid of the people at the meeting recognising me, since if they are there they either are trans or are supporting someone that is. The center is on one of the busiest roads and I am more afraid of someone spotting me from the road.