Soooo...Im probably not getting Estrogen...

[Keira]

Just saw my doctor and he is trying to get me to fly to Vancouver...I'm pretty much freaking out at this point because I'll probably never get on full hrt. I don't have the money to fly to Vancouver, I don't have the time, nor do I want to go there just for hrt.

I'm so pissed and upset right now...

I thought I could get hrt, but I might just end up doing what I planned to before...self
medicating...

I don't know what to do...

[Darkie]

*hugs* First of all, take a deeeep breath.  Second of all, think happy thoughts.  I'm sorry that you are having a rough time and wish I could help you out.  But from what I've heard from the girls here, self medicating is dangerous.  Don't do anything that would harm you sweety.

[Keira]

*hugs* First of all, take a deeeep breath.  Second of all, think happy thoughts.  I'm sorry that you are having a rough time and wish I could help you out.  But from what I've heard from the girls here, self medicating is dangerous.  Don't do anything that would harm you sweety.

There are worse things I could do besides self medicate...

[Shantel]

I thought I could get hrt, but I might just end up doing what I planned to before...self
medicating...

I don't know what to do...

I have a suggestion, go to the hormones forum and read the thread entitled "Extreme Danger" before you try self medicating. I am the original poster and describe how easily I wound up with a life threatening condition known as DVT. Not fun!

[Ltl89]

I have a suggestion, go to the hormones forum and read the thread entitled "Extreme Danger" before you try self medicating. I am the original poster and describe how easily I wound up with a life threatening condition known as DVT. Not fun!

Did he outright reject the possibility of him prescribing Estrogen?  It's one thing if he would prefer it, and another for him to mandate it.  Explain to him that it is impossible for you to get their on your current income and that your schedule is not flexible enough to allow such travels.  He may be understanding if you explain how limited your individual situation is.  By the way, you could always get hrt letters from a therapist and then see a local endo.  Not all of them are gatekeepers and some are fairly flexible about the timeframe of the letter.  I got mine after 2 visits. 

[Theo]

*sends a big virtual hug your way*

I know that it is not trivial to do, but do you think you may be able to, calmly, convince your doctor that: a.) you currently simply do not have the time or the funds for a quick hop to Vancouver, and b.) whether it would be possible for him to simply ASK the endo in Vancouver (phone / email / whatever) what should be monitored and what the results should be (he can even fax the results over and ask for instructions for crying out loud)? While it may delay your HRT a bit, it could potentially be a solution that allows your doc to feel more comfortable (i.e. pushing responsibility on the remote endo...) and prescribe the proper meds to you. Heck, he can probably bill the minutes for the phone conversations etc. too, so a double win for him: learn something and get paid. It's not as if teleconferencing et al haven't been part of the modern medical discourse for 20+ years after all.

As Darkie said, self medicating can be a very dodgy thing, with missteps tending to have serious consequences, ranging from never being able to do HRT again to rather more terminal effects. I even had my genetic profile on hand (via 23&me), but ended up with a bunch of surprises, so it's very thin ice to tread. While I realise that it is waaaaay easier said than done, I would council just a little more patience, as fast gratification now can preclude you from actually achieving what you want to achieve. You're way closer than ever before, so it would be a huge pity to risk it at this stage. And realise that you ARE way closer and not further away from your goal, despite the "2-steps-forward-1-step-backward" you're still that step ahead.

[Keira]

Did he outright reject the possibility of him prescribing Estrogen?  It's one thing if he would prefer it, and another for him to mandate it.  Explain to him that it is impossible for you to get their on your current income and that your schedule is not flexible enough to allow such travels.  He may be understanding if you explain how limited your individual situation is.  By the way, you could always get hrt letters from a therapist and then see a local endo.  Not all of them are gatekeepers and some are fairly flexible about the timeframe of the letter.  I got mine after 2 visits.

No he just said that we would wait another month with just spiro, and then see if I had any side effects from it. But I anticipate he will keep pushing me to travel to Vancouver.

There are no trans experienced therapists near where I live...otherwise I would. The counsellor Im going to is probably the most experienced in the town where I live.

So Im pretty much screwed...

[Keira]

*sends a big virtual hug your way*

I know that it is not trivial to do, but do you think you may be able to, calmly, convince your doctor that: a.) you currently simply do not have the time or the funds for a quick hop to Vancouver, and b.) whether it would be possible for him to simply ASK the endo in Vancouver (phone / email / whatever) what should be monitored and what the results should be (he can even fax the results over and ask for instructions for crying out loud)? While it may delay your HRT a bit, it could potentially be a solution that allows your doc to feel more comfortable (i.e. pushing responsibility on the remote endo...) and prescribe the proper meds to you. Heck, he can probably bill the minutes for the phone conversations etc. too, so a double win for him: learn something and get paid. It's not as if teleconferencing et al haven't been part of the modern medical discourse for 20+ years after all.

As Darkie said, self medicating can be a very dodgy thing, with missteps tending to have serious consequences, ranging from never being able to do HRT again to rather more terminal effects. I even had my genetic profile on hand (via 23&me), but ended up with a bunch of surprises, so it's very thin ice to tread. While I realise that it is waaaaay easier said than done, I would council just a little more patience, as fast gratification now can preclude you from actually achieving what you want to achieve. You're way closer than ever before, so it would be a huge pity to risk it at this stage. And realise that you ARE way closer and not further away from your goal, despite the "2-steps-forward-1-step-backward" you're still that step ahead.

Thanks for the idea!

I am still thankful that I have an anti androgen though, so I see what you mean.

I just hate feeling that I have to fight for everything...

[Ltl89]

No he just said that we would wait another month with just spiro, and then see if I had any side effects from it. But I anticipate he will keep pushing me to travel to Vancouver.

There are no trans experienced therapists near where I live...otherwise I would. The counsellor Im going to is probably the most experienced in the town where I live.

So Im pretty much screwed...

Well, your therapist doesn't need to be a gender therapist.  They could still help with the letters if they understand the process.  Many on this forum have had positive experiences with regular therapists.   Have you talked to your counsellor about your trans status and the possibility of hrt letters?

Also, did you talk to your current doctor about your financial situation and how it's impossible for you to travel?  Perhaps he may be talked with.  From what you said, it sounds like he wants you to go to Vancouver but isn't denying you Estrogen at the moment.  Talk to him and see how it goes.

[Keira]

Well, your therapist doesn't need to be a gender therapist.  They could still help with the letters if they understand the process.  Many on this forum have had positive experiences with regular therapists.   Have you talked to your counsellor about your trans status and the possibility of hrt letters?

Also, did you talk to your current doctor about your financial situation and how it's impossible for you to travel?  Perhaps he may be talked with.  From what you said, it sounds like he wants you to go to Vancouver but isn't denying you Estrogen at the moment.  Talk to him and see how it goes.

I'm going to my counsellor specifically for transitioning/hrt stuff. So he already knows, and my GP knows the counsellor quite well. I just never got a letter, my GP wants me to keep going to the counsellor.

Yeah I told my GP that I don't have the time or capability to go to Vancouver because of family stuff (not going to talk about it here). I don't know if I told him about the financial issues as well...

[Ltl89]

I'm going to my counsellor specifically for transitioning/hrt stuff. So he already knows, and my GP knows the counsellor quite well. I just never got a letter, my GP wants me to keep going to the counsellor.

Yeah I told my GP that I don't have the time or capability to go to Vancouver because of family stuff (not going to talk about it here). I don't know if I told him about the financial issues as well...

Tell him about the finances as well.  I'm sure he will be okay if he understands that it's not feasible or possible for you to travel at such a distance. 

Have you ever asked your counsellor about writing a letter?  If he already knows about it, he won't be surprised that you are asking for one.  It's worth asking because it will make things much easier for you.

[Keira]

Tell him about the finances as well.  I'm sure he will be okay if he understands that it's not feasible or possible for you to travel at such a distance. 

Have you ever asked your counsellor about writing a letter?  If he already knows about it, he won't be surprised that you are asking for one.  It's worth asking because it will make things much easier for you.

Yeah, I don't know Im hesitant to ask...my counsellor is trying to be "gatekeeper" and It might take like 4-5 more sessions just to get a letter...of which I can't afford the price..

Heck, I still need money for laser and clothing...

[A]

Eeeeh, no, making you take the plane for health care is not right. It's probably not even legal, unless the government pays it. You have the right to accessible health care. Any doctor has the right to prescribe HRT, and I wager, a lot of them have what it takes to prescribe it safely with a bit of research and maybe a call or two to a specialist. Seriously, no, refuse. Tell him you'renot a doctor who swims in opulence with a huge salary, and that a plane ticket is more than your monthly budget (well, maybe. I don't know your budget). Either he finds you a solution you can reasonably reach with normal transportation, either you're going to self-medicate, because he's asking you something absolutely unreasonable. He should be ashamed.

This is unlike me, but yeah. Be firm and make him know that taking the plane is absolutely unthinkable. He must find another solution, no matter what. I've had it with my own endo's annoyances, and I certainly don't want to see someone else caught in the cage of a doctor's stupidity. See where it's brought me. 16 months of HRT and blood levels of E still barely above male normals. Don't have any patience for incompetent, stupid or stubborn doctors. You'll regret it.

[Keira]

Eeeeh, no, making you take the plane for health care is not right. It's probably not even legal, unless the government pays it. You have the right to accessible health care. Any doctor has the right to prescribe HRT, and I wager, a lot of them have what it takes to prescribe it safely with a bit of research and maybe a call or two to a specialist. Seriously, no, refuse. Tell him you'renot a doctor who swims in opulence with a huge salary, and that a plane ticket is more than your monthly budget (well, maybe. I don't know your budget). Either he finds you a solution you can reasonably reach with normal transportation, either you're going to self-medicate, because he's asking you something absolutely unreasonable. He should be ashamed.

This is unlike me, but yeah. Be firm and make him know that taking the plane is absolutely unthinkable. He must find another solution, no matter what. I've had it with my own endo's annoyances, and I certainly don't want to see someone else caught in the cage of a doctor's stupidity. See where it's brought me. 16 months of HRT and blood levels of E still barely above male normals. Don't have any patience for incompetent, stupid or stubborn doctors. You'll regret it.

Yep, I plan on telling him that I'll self medicate if he isn't willing to prescribe hrt to me. I'm very tempted just to switch to an endo or a gyno.

I have literally given him all the information he needs to prescribe and monitor it properly, he shouldn't even need the advice of another physician; because hrt is not "do x and y, get z result" it's more of an experimental treatment that has to be constantly tested and changed.

To get my point across about not being able to fly to Vancouver, I might have to get forceful. Or like I said before, get another doctor.

I'm not sure what I should do first...

[Ltl89]

Yep, I plan on telling him that I'll self medicate if he isn't willing to prescribe hrt to me. I'm very tempted just to switch to an endo or a gyno.

I have literally given him all the information he needs to prescribe and monitor it properly, he shouldn't even need the advice of another physician; because hrt is not "do x and y, get z result" it's more of an experimental treatment that has to be constantly tested and changed.

To get my point across about not being able to fly to Vancouver, I might have to get forceful. Or like I said before, get another doctor.

I'm not sure what I should do first...

It probably would make sense to get another doctor before going the self medicating route.  You already have a counsellor that knows about this.  If needed, I'm sure you could get the letter if you ask.  Maybe a few sessions more, but what's a little time and money when you have your whole life to look forward to. Self medicating can put you in jeopardy. It's frustrating, but it's possible to overcome this.  Don't get too discouraged. 

[Shantel]

It probably would make sense to get another doctor before going the self medicating route.  You already have a counsellor that knows about this.  If needed, I'm sure you could get the letter if you ask.  Maybe a few sessions more, but what's a little time and money when you have your whole life to look forward to. Self medicating can put you in jeopardy. It's frustrating, but it's possible to overcome this.  Don't get too discouraged.

Such good advice skye, pay attention honey!

[Jamie D]

Just saw my doctor and he is trying to get me to fly to Vancouver...I'm pretty much freaking out at this point because I'll probably never get on full hrt. I don't have the money to fly to Vancouver, I don't have the time, nor do I want to go there just for hrt.

I'm so pissed and upset right now...

I thought I could get hrt, but I might just end up doing what I planned to before...self
medicating...

I don't know what to do...

I am unclear, reading through the topic, whether the local doctor wants you to see an endocrinologist or a gender therapist.  Neither is an absolute necessity. A general practitioner should be able to handle tracking your occasional lab results, and spot anything that may point to a problem.  Indeed, the diagnostic labs printout usually highlight anything out of the ordinary.  And your doctor can access the WPATH guidelines at any time.

And the fact of the matter is that those who live outside of major metropolitan areas rarely have access to a dedicated gender therapist.

It is sometimes frustrating to be told to wait a while longer.  Trust me, I know.  Be patient and work constructively with your doctor.  Starting with a new physician would just slow the process more.

[Keira]

I am unclear, reading through the topic, whether the local doctor wants you to see an endocrinologist or a gender therapist.  Neither is an absolute necessity. A general practitioner should be able to handle tracking your occasional lab results, and spot anything that may point to a problem.  Indeed, the diagnostic labs printout usually highlight anything out of the ordinary.  And your doctor can access the WPATH guidelines at any time.

And the fact of the matter is that those who live outside of major metropolitan areas rarely have access to a dedicated gender therapist.

I wasn't sure why he wanted me to go to Vancouver either...

I just don't know how to prove to him that he can actually do this himself, as he doesn't seem to believe me...any ideas?

I would rather stick with my current doctor than go to a completely new one and explain everything/print everything out all over again.

It will be a miracle if I get hrt and have any hair left...(not in the aging sense, or MPB sense either)

Thanks for the advice everyone!

[A]

I can figure, but it's just dumb to ask a patient to take a plane for that. He just has to either do it himself, either find someone locally who'll do it. I have to go 2.5 hours away to see my endo, and might have to go 5 hours away if my final attempt to talk sense into him doesn't work, because that's where the next closest endo who sees trans people is. And honestly, I think they're asking a LOT of me for health care. So a plane... that's just crazy.

[Keira]

The reason he is waiting and wants you to go to Vancouver is because he feels he is in uncharted territory. He feels he isn't competent in giving you hormones and probably has a nagging feeling in the back of his head in regards to "do no harm." A lot of GPs are like this. They are erring on the side of caution.

Well the irony is that he's going to be doing more harm to me by NOT prescribing me hrt, and forcing me to spend money I don't currently have.

But does he believe me...noooo, Im just an idiot that doesn't know anything.