48 Letters of Applology

[stephanie_craxford]

Yesterday a driver phoned in sick at the last minute so I jumped in and took the school route.  It was a public school with children from K to 8.  Half way through the run a couple of children at the back of the bus asked me if my name was Phil.  Ooooops, I thought...

(A bit of history... last year I gave these same children school bus safety lessons as my former self who shall be forever nameless)  Back to the present...

It flashed through my mind that they recognised my voice, but I told them "No, my name is Stephanie".  Nothing more was said, however and couple of the children gave me a good look when they got of the bus at their stop.

Today the driver who was off sick yesterday came into the office after her run and gave me an envelope with 48 hand written apologies in it from the children on the bus for the way they treated yesterday.  I asked her what this was all about as I had no clue what went on yesterday.  Apparently one of the children was very upset about what some of the  other children were saying about me and told her neighbor, who also drives for us, and she in turn told the driver who was sick (Still with me).

Today when she arrived at the school with her bus, the driver who I replaced gave the children a talking to about me, what I was going through and what I was facing, and then she marched them into the principles office and told the principle what had happened on the bus the previous day.  At the lunch break the principle had all the children who ride on the bus report to the gym where she lectured and explained to them about my situation, and how they should be supportive and caring of me.  Then had each of them write me an apology for the way they behaved.

I've got to tell you I had tears well up in my eye's as I read them.  They are definitely treasures to be kept.  Now there are arguments for and against what the sick driver and the principle did, but I will side with them on this one.  It's nice to know that there are a lot of good supportive people out there.

Just one of the letters:

Dear: Stepanie

   I am sorry for being disrespectful
and I'm sorry for asking you if your
name was Phil now I understand what
you went through and it was a brave
thing to do personaly I couldn't
do it

From: Jordan

And another:

Dear bus driver

I am sorry that your differents were brought up and that _______ School
was that diripecful to you.  So please come back I liked your driving and you
were cool.  You were respeful and that is what matters.

By Brandon

Steph

[beth]

                 That's a wonderful story Steph, and well deserved.



beth

[Dennis]

Wow. I think I'd have been close to tears if I'd received that kind of love from kids. You should be proud of yourself and what you've done to deserve that.

Dennis

[Debtv]

WOW!

I'm proud to know a leader such as you.......thankyou!

Love
DebTV

[Shelley]

Well I just think I'm going to need to start drinking more fluids. It seems that my eyes well up every second post at the moment.

What a lovely story and I'm with you Steph how could you not be touched by the response.

And what a workplace you work in!!! How often do you feel the need to pinch yourself?

Shelley

[DawnL]

I think this is a great story and the letters from the children priceless.  I wonder if there will be any fallout from parents who are upset that their children were forced to write these letters? 

DawnL

[Cassandra]

Well, I'm all teary eyed over that story. Thanks for sharing Steph.

Cassie

[JenniferElizabeth]

That was a truly great story. Congartulations to you. In one way its good for the kids to being tought respect for you and every other person  whohas problems like us, or any other.

[Sheila]

Stephanie,
I thought that was very sweet of the regular driver and the pricipal too. I don't think that would have happened in my school dist. I have had people say to me, no you aren't a woman or you are just kidding aren't you. I don't say much as I'm not allowed to say anything about my gender. My manager has told this to me even though I'm transitioned. I do have some pretty remarkable kids though and some very nice parents, who do stick up for me at times, but I don't have the school dist. to stick up for me. Of course I drive special needs kids and they are special to me and I need them. You are one lucky girl to have all of those letters. I hope you put them on your wall in your office or someplace that you could display them. By the way, I'm crying right now and sometimes have to try and read what I write, cause I can't see the words, blurry.
Sheila (girl friend in the school bus)

[stephanie_craxford]

Thanks everyone for the kind words.  I think it's important for us to share our life experiences, especially when it involves our transition.  As I mentioned to Melissa in another topic, with each little success comes more confidence, and if dealt with the right way, we can even gain confidence from those times when we seem to be ridiculed, made fun of or just have a heck of a bad day.  Life experiences make us stronger.

Personally I like to believe that the children involved were not being malicious, they were just being kids, so I can live with that, and I will treasure thier letters.

I can sympathize with your situation Sheila, not having the backing of the school district leaves you very vulnerable to attack from all sides.  That was one of my biggest fears about coming out at work, I'm so fortunate to have the backing of both my employer, and the school board.  As far as I know there have been no complaints from parents about me, but that's not to say that there won't be.  I guess the big test will be how  far my support will go once parents start complaining about me.  Special needs children are indeed special, I have driven special needs routes many times and I sometimes marvel how accepting they are of me, and yet there are so many out there who would cross the street in order to avoid interacting with them.  I guess in some ways we have a lot in common.

Steph

[Sheila]

Being out and not trying to hide myself, I have found that people are more accepting. You still can't turn your back on them as they may put a knife into it, figuratively speaking. I know I have changed the minds of a lot of people in this town, cause I have gone through this city and people remember me. Sometimes they only remember the face, but I get remembered. I believe in people and especially the children. I have only been a bus driver 1 year, going on my second and when I drop off children at school some will say high to me. All the teachers that I have come in contact with me make it a special effort to say hi to me on my bus. Someday I will be able to say to these kids that it doesn't matter who you are or what you were born with all it counts is that you are one individual and that you count in this world of ours. I will listen to all that they have to say.
Sheila stepping of the soap box.

[JenniferElizabeth]

Amen to that Sheila, I'll agree to that. Who knows meybe someday soon,it will grow to where all people will start accepting us, as regular people and not how they see us now. But,any acceptance right now is a gain. Congatulations Steph.

[stephanie_craxford]

Just as a follow up...  Yesterday, as luck would have it I had to drive the same route again as the driver had booked off that day for an appointment.  However the driver told me that the kids were really excited that I would be driving.  That really made me feel good inside.

As the kids boarded the bus they each had big smiles on their face and said "Hi Stephanie".  The run went very well and the kids were great.  But the best thing was when I dropped the last two girls off at their stop.  They are grade 7, and when they reached the sidewalk they turned around and with the biggest smiles waved goodbye to me as I drove off.

Yep it's these moments that make my job so wonderful.

Steph

[Shelley]

when they reached the sidewalk they turned around and with the biggest smiles waved goodbye to me as I drove off.

They just know what we know Steph, you the best.

Shelley

[alleigh]

Yay that is wonderful!! 

[Miss Placed]

I can't think of any words, but this thread has touched me deeply and caused me to shed a few tears.