Who else ever attended a single-sex school?

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

Finding out whether members attended a religious or secular school would make an interesting poll/topic don't you think...

Metta Zenda

[FTMDiaries]

Finding out whether members attended a religious or secular school would make an interesting poll/topic don't you think...

Yes it would, and also whether we believe the nature of our school had a positive or negative effect on our being trans*.

When I attended school back in the Dark Ages (i.e. 1970s & 1980s), there was no such thing as a 'secular' school. The South African government was run by Afrikaners, and all state apparatuses (including schools) were 'jobs for the boys'; a way of finding jobs for other Afrikaners. So practically all of our teachers were Afrikaners... and most of them were members of the Dutch Reformed Church, which at that time was a very conservative, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, mysogynistic, racist, anti-British, Calvinistic organisation. And what our teachers heard from the pulpit, they enforced in our schools. Violently.

I blogged about some of my primary school experiences a couple of months ago. My first school was actually pretty good, but we moved towns and the second school was awful for me as a trans* kid. Trigger warning - my post isn't graphic, but it does mention some mild child abuse: http://ftmdiaries.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/primary-school-experiences.html

So our state schools were strictly religious in nature; we had religious assembly twice a week, Religious Instruction lessons several times a week (entirely and exclusively about Christianity, natch), and the only kids who were excused from either of those things were the Jewish kids. Oh, how I used to envy those Jewish kids! I've been an atheist since I was 9, but that never got me out of my schools' indoctrination sessions telling me how sub-human I was.

Yeah. How's that for a fun education?

[Constance]

Finding out whether members attended a religious or secular school would make an interesting poll/topic don't you think...

Yes it would, and also whether we believe the nature of our school had a positive or negative effect on our being trans*.

It might be a little more complicated than that. It's not just whether or not the school was religious. It's also what denomination, where on Earth the school is located, and when in time it was attended. Some denoms are more adaptive than others.

[Naomi]

Kia Ora,

Finding out whether members attended a religious or secular school would make an interesting poll/topic don't you think...

Metta Zenda

As I noted in my case it's already more complex than that, it was a Christian school but also had a military program.

[StellaB]

I went to a boys grammar school for a couple of years until I got expelled from it.

[JoanneB]

I went to an all boys Catholic HS follwed by an engineering only college (AKA I think there were only 3 girls on campus, total for all 4 years).

Now that I am older I can look back and say at most times neither were all that bad. Certainly not even close to the level seen on way too many sophmoric toilet humor TV shows or movies. But then that was all 40 years or so ago during a lot more gentile time when your biggest worry was when the next riot was an if you'll be caught up in the middle of it. 

[CalmRage]

My second school didn't have a single girl on it most of the time (it was not a real single-sex school, but mostly).

[Jack_M]

I had some issues and saw a therapist as a kid who then told my parents I had gender issues (I wasn't told).  So their reaction was to throw me in an all girls catholic school.

Did really well in school in the end...probably because I just spent all breaks in some lab rather than trying to interact with people I had nothing in common with.  Needless to say I didn't have much of a social life at school.

But when it comes to it being a catholic school, that didn't really matter in my experience.  I always found our religious education classes to actually be quite good, and I've been an atheist from a young age.  They didn't just teach us about the catholic faith, we learnt a lot about all the major religions, and then had really good debates on issues like euthanasia or abortion where it was actually okay to be pro or in-between.  I never felt like they tried to ram God or any biblical ideologies down my throat and a few people actually came out at lesbians without any backlash.  The school was okay but because it as an all girls school there were a lot of Muslims, and they gave me (and any butch lesbians) a lot of grief.  I guess that's partly due to their religion and culture and how they think females should present themselves, or rather not present themselves.  Being that I had short hair and was quite masculine, they saw me as an abomination and used to bully me.  So in terms of it being a catholic school it was fine, but because it was an all girls school with a lot of Muslims, with more archaic ideas of how females should look, act and behave, it was a nightmare.

[DriftingCrow]

The school was okay but because it as an all girls school there were a lot of Muslims, and they gave me (and any butch lesbians) a lot of grief.  I guess that's partly due to their religion and culture and how they think females should present themselves, or rather not present themselves.  Being that I had short hair and was quite masculine, they saw me as an abomination and used to bully me.  So in terms of it being a catholic school it was fine, but because it was an all girls school with a lot of Muslims, with more archaic ideas of how females should look, act and behave, it was a nightmare.

That's quite interesting, the all-female college I went to also had a lot of Muslims (most from Saudi Arabia) and they were all great with lesbians butch/femme. Some of the people who I got along with best were the girls from Saudi (who were conservative Muslims--wore hijab, prayed 5 times a day, etc.) even though I was dressing all-male and passing when I wasn't at school. I wonder if the difference in our experiences was because I was in a college and  were in primary/middle/high school? Or maybe the girls I encountered just weren't used to the American culture and just kept quite? I also now currently have a lot of Muslims friends from Pakistan who are fine with LGBT people.

[androgynoid]

I attended a single-sex Catholic college prep school from grades 6-12, complete with pleated skirts and knee socks. Then I attended a male-dominated STEM university for a couple of years. Complete culture shock, haha.

I managed to make some really excellent liberal and supportive friends in high school, with whom I still keep in touch. And it's really amusing how many queer and trans folk came out of that school. My graduating class of 48 had two trans people and at least 4 queer ladies, and there were a bunch more in the years behind me.

[Jack_M]

That's quite interesting, the all-female college I went to also had a lot of Muslims (most from Saudi Arabia) and they were all great with lesbians butch/femme. Some of the people who I got along with best were the girls from Saudi (who were conservative Muslims--wore hijab, prayed 5 times a day, etc.) even though I was dressing all-male and passing when I wasn't at school. I wonder if the difference in our experiences was because I was in a college and  were in primary/middle/high school? Or maybe the girls I encountered just weren't used to the American culture and just kept quite? I also now currently have a lot of Muslims friends from Pakistan who are fine with LGBT people.

I'm not sure where most of the Muslims were from where I was.  I was actually living in Scotland.  A lot were Scottish born but with immigrant parents.  I just know they absolutely did not approve of a masculine female, especially when say sharing a changing room for P.E.  If I looked anywhere other than the wall I was accused of being a pervert, etc.  And I was constantly bullied because I always wore my gym shorts under my kilt...okay it was a skirt but that's how I dealt with having to wear that alien clothing lol.  It even got to a point where complaints were made about me because many Muslims don't remove their head scarves in front of men and with my being a masculine female, they considered that enough to make them uncomfortable.    At this time I didn't even identify as transgender (didn't even know what that was) and still had a female name.  But I ended up having to change in an entirely separate area at the back and then have to wait until everyone else was finished before I could leave.  Basically my school was too scared to stand up for me doing nothing wrong because the bullies would complain under religious grounds.  And this just increased the bullying by the remainder of the students.  This is why I spent my school breaks in science or Technological Studies labs.

[Liam]

One thing that really gets to me about going to a girls school is that there's no male uniform. It has strict uniform rules, and there's no way I can get permission to wear a male uniform because there is none. I have to spend another year and a half wearing a skirt every weekday.

[A]

The heck. The only allowed bottom uniform for females is a skirt? What are they, perverts? Not to mention... what do you do in the winter? Wear super warm tights with your inappropriate skirt? Sheesh, there's only one private school with uniforms around here, and both genders have a choice of quite a few kinds of clothing for top and bottom, including shorts, skirt and pants. Wait, maybe there's not even a skirt. Not sure. Anyway, they're quite special. Forcing people to wear a skirt regardless of weather (or preference -- trans stuff aside, many girls just do not like to wear skirts at all).

Seriously, even if there were no trans people in the world, single-sex schools would be an abobination to me. Yeah, studies prove that most guys optimally learn differently from most girls, and blah blah. But that's just a matter of teachers being more creative and flexible. Not to mention there's probably a lot of guys who learn "like girls" and vice versa.

And I seriously don't see how people haven't understood yet how utterly unhealthy it is to separate genders in such a manner. It impairs people's social abilities, and contributes to perpetuate the meaningless "male clique" and "female clique" that stay separated. Not to mention it can easily deeply hurt any person who doesn't quite fit with what's normal for their gender, trans or not.

Sigh. I pity you all. I was in a two-week Cadets summer camp where I was put in a dormitory with only guys. Immature teenage guys who talked about sex and how they liked to be cruel to animals, and who smelled awful. There were girls on the camp, just not in the dormitory. It was hell. Anything remotely military is inherently hellish, but being stuck with only guys for such things was unbearable. Pretty sure being stuck with guys was a bigger part of the reasons why I cried and begged to leave after a few days. At least we had individual showers. If not I don't think I would have lasted one day.

[Elsa]

I was in an all boy school and it wasn't untill about 3 years before I left the school that it became co-ed.

Honestly, I hated it and hated the fact that every time I had to pretend to be happy in a miserable instituition where bullying and fist fights were common.

Although I did learn how to fight people larger than me - guess that's a good thing. I'm pretty sure I used to beat the crap out of guys that used to bother me to an extent where I coudn't stand it anymore and there were a lot of guys that I got into fights with especially a guy who had a thing for my butt (I had a girls buttocks then and thanks to HRT I have it once again)

The first thing that the school/class teachers did when it became co-ed was group me with the girls because I hated all the guys and coundn't get along with them as much as they hated me.

[CalmRage]

I never really fought, though really i should have, but ever since i left that school for the one i'm on now, i'm not taking crap like theirs anymore.

[AdamMLP]

One thing that really gets to me about going to a girls school is that there's no male uniform. It has strict uniform rules, and there's no way I can get permission to wear a male uniform because there is none. I have to spend another year and a half wearing a skirt every weekday.

The heck. The only allowed bottom uniform for females is a skirt? What are they, perverts? Not to mention... what do you do in the winter? Wear super warm tights with your inappropriate skirt? Sheesh, there's only one private school with uniforms around here, and both genders have a choice of quite a few kinds of clothing for top and bottom, including shorts, skirt and pants. Wait, maybe there's not even a skirt. Not sure. Anyway, they're quite special. Forcing people to wear a skirt regardless of weather (or preference -- trans stuff aside, many girls just do not like to wear skirts at all).

Even in my old private co-ed school all the girls had to wear skirts, all the time, and there was a male uniform, we just weren't allowed to wear it.  Ever since I started there until I left five years later, I was trying to convince them to let me, and other people if they wanted, to wear trousers/the male uniform.  Surprisingly I got almost no support.  Either the girls thought that they would be laughed at for not wanting to keep their femininity or something like that, or they were convinced they'd never get a boyfriend if they couldn't get their legs out the whole time.  In the depths of winter they were rolling them up at the waist to make them even shorter than before.

Anyway, it wasn't the skirts which were the cold part in winter, that was the fact we had to wear stupid blouses which didn't close up at the top, as well as v-neck jumpers, so you permanently had a cold chest.  Scarves were allowed in certain situations if they were the right material/colour, but that was the only thing that would keep your chest warm, you couldn't even wear a t-shirt beneath or it would show.  In the end I found an abandoned tie and wore it regardless of the rules with the excuse that it kept me warm.  The only teachers who mentioned it said that it suited me and was a good idea.

And Luke, I feel your pain.  I set fire to my skirt once towards the end of summer holidays.  (Un)fortunately I got the skirt I'd outgrown (they cost >£40).

[Liam]

The heck. The only allowed bottom uniform for females is a skirt? What are they, perverts? Not to mention... what do you do in the winter? Wear super warm tights with your inappropriate skirt? Sheesh, there's only one private school with uniforms around here, and both genders have a choice of quite a few kinds of clothing for top and bottom, including shorts, skirt and pants. Wait, maybe there's not even a skirt. Not sure. Anyway, they're quite special. Forcing people to wear a skirt regardless of weather (or preference -- trans stuff aside, many girls just do not like to wear skirts at all).

Yep. Summer uniform is a dress, winter uniform is a skirt with tights. No other options. You can only wear pants for sports.

[Rachel85]

All boys private catholic high school, co-ed in primary. Looking back at high school, yes, it was hell, at the time, yes, it was hell too.
I still don't hold it against my parents, they had no idea and were supportive of me, I just didn't fit in at all and bounced between groups of friends the whole time. The only things I enjoyed were drama and science!
I would love to have gone to a co-ed school but I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not. It was a pretty good school and generally there wasn't all that much homophobia/trans*phobia but boys will be boys and you kinda cant escape it. Yes, "That is gay" was the catch-cry of anyone who though you didn't fall in "the box". In fact, yes, I think that I was terrified of realising that I was trans then because of the environment I was in so yea, HIGH SCHOOL SUCKED!
Ah well! I'll go to a reunion one day, that will be fun.

[Constance]

I would love to have gone to a co-ed school but I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not.

Yeah, I feel this way too.

[big kim]

There was a lot more bullying(not by me) in my mixed senior grammar school than the all boys junior school.I learned to fight pretty good by the time I was 14.My Dad offered me £5 if I could manage a week without getting in a fight,it was a safe bet as I never managed it once between 11 and 16.