Sexuality and HRT

[DrBobbi]

Hi,

I'm new to HRT having completed my 6th week and I love it. The dysmorphic OCD feelings are gone and I'm happier than I can remember. Then there's this, my sexuality is shifting. I was married for 23 years, have two adult children, and always loved women, but lately now find myself also attracted to, men.

We're taught that sexuality and gender identity are two separate things, but hormones must, and in my case, influence sexuality. Anyone else?

[RedFox]

I've been in multiple long term relationships with women in the past 40 years and while I considered myself Bi because I enjoyed the sex with men (in-between hetero relationships) I was never actually attracted to gay men.  After a few weeks on HRT my interests and fantasies really started shifting.  I find myself considering men (straight men) as potential partners and I suspect I look at them as any other woman would.  I'm still interested and attracted to women, but I'm not sure how much of that is habit and how much is still true interest.

[Olivia-Anne]

Before I started hormones I would have labeled myself bi-sexual. But since starting them I am definitially alot more interested in men then woman. Although in my case I attribute it to something else. For me when I started hormones, it was a new chapter in my life. I was more emotionally aware. I allowed myself to grow and find and experience emotions that I repressed for a very long time. It is my theory that this is the root of my sexual preferance. I think the attraction was always there but it took some steps before it felt ok to feel that way. For me the step just happened to be hormones. Maybe that is the case with you as well? *shrugs*

<3 Liv

[big kim]

I was bi pre HRT but I became more interested in men after a few months of HRT.

[suzifrommd]

My sexuality started a bit of a shift even before HRT. As I started seeing myself as female, the idea of my skin against rough hairy male skin didn't seem so icky.

That being said, I still haven't come across a man I'm attracted to.

[Mollie]

I am due to start HRT very soon. There are three "symptoms" that will make me stop immediately (in order of importance)

1 Suicidal thoughts or depression.

2 Changes in sexuality. (I feel guilty enough already regarding my wife).

3 Being made to feel physically unwell.

[Renee]

Had no real interest in sex before hrt and after nine years on it, still not interested in sex.

[kelly_aus]

After years of living as a gay guy, I assumed I must be a straight woman - I'd spent years chasing men, after all..

I was wrong. Circumstances were such that I realised I had never loved a man, not once. The few loves of my life had all been women. I was a lesbian and always had been, HRT didn't change my preference, just put me in a position to accept what I'd known about myself all along..

[Naomi]

A friend of mine who did HRT for 1 month told that it was that she was open to the idea of being with a man before HRT, and then when she took hormones she started to notice the guys on campus.

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

I think one thing to remember is that going on hormones means experiencing puberty the way genetic women do. I haven't read a great deal on how puberty solidifies sexuality, but I understand that many people discover their attractions at that time. So no one should be surprised that their sexuality changes. And in almost all cases sexuality  (that is the way we experience sexual attraction) will change, even if we are still attracted to people of the same gender as we were pre-hrt.

In my case, my sex drive nose-dived after two weeks on HRT. Then, seven and a half months into the process, I found men for the first time in my life. Up to hrt, I was exclusively attracted to women, but I no longer am. If I was repressing the desire before hand, I did a very good job fooling myself.

It seems like people who start hrt should be prepared for any possibility. I celebrate whatever changes take place! They're all part of the woman I was meant to be.

[bethany]

Pre Hrt I was attracted to women exclusively. Now that I am five months into my transition I feel that I am attracted more to men.

[Joanna Dark]

Pre-HRT I was attracted to men and independent, strong women. Nothing has changed except my ability to get men to talk to me. I feel exactly the same in almost every way.

[warlockmaker]

I was a real male playboy and have been married 3 times with 4 children. I've had hundreds of female relationshipI did try it with a man once when very young and slightly intoxicatd and found that it was definitly not me. Back then the idea of a TS was so out there, after all we were trying to wrap our heads around accepting gays. Today, I find that I'm not attracted to females anymore and have this hang up with men BUT its only 3 months in and I know it will evolve.

[Hideyoshi]

I was gay before I started, and I like men just as much now

[DrBobbi]

I am due to start HRT very soon. There are three "symptoms" that will make me stop immediately (in order of importance)

1 Suicidal thoughts or depression.

2 Changes in sexuality. (I feel guilty enough already regarding my wife).

3 Being made to feel physically unwell.

Estradiol is a very powerful antidepressant. And, if you're trans, HRT should make you very happy, indeed. Guilt re: your wife won't get better on HRT. THat needs to be handled by confronting the reality. Can she love you, and remain with you as a woman? Will she be ok with being labeled by the insensitive, as bisexual?

Thank you EVERYONE for confirming what I already KNOW...Estradiol changes so much!

[Heather]

Estradiol is a very powerful antidepressant.

Yeah you might want to give it some more time before making that assessment. I was all giddy and happy the first two months too. 

[BunnyBee]

I went from asexual to straight, and I know there were other things at play besides hormones, but it feels very much like it was HRT that caused that shift.  I put a lot of credence in my feels, they usually know things best.

I don't think that messes with the homosexual narrative though, cause it's not apples to apples. Also you have plenty of gay trans people.  I think, in simple terms, when you use HRT to re-wire your brain so it matches your mind, then you find out who you were actually meant to be.  Sometimes that's a straight woman, much to your surprise.

[big kim]

I'm much more comfortable as a bi woman,I was never OK being bi as a man

[Catalina]

I liked men before, and I still like men now. Being straight is as much a blessing as being gay, or asexual or whatever!

[Jamie D]

Yeah you might want to give it some more time before making that assessment. I was all giddy and happy the first two months too. 

You know, I agree with Zoey's assessment.  I felt the depressive burden lift from me from the beginning of HRT.  And the funny thing is, when I was forced to stop (hopefully temporarily), the pall did not return in force.  Perhaps it was because I had a better understanding of myself (a psychotherapeutic effect, rather than a chemical effect).

Being an anti-depressant does not mean it will completely stop all reasons for depression - no antidepressant does.