I haven't been able to come on here lately as much as I would like because I've been busy working 80 hours a week and stuff, not that I participated in discussions as much as I should have, I mostly just lurked around and read everything. Anyways, on May 17th I had surgery with Garramone and I thought it might help people who haven't had top surgery yet if I shared some of my experiences.
As far as the process goes many people have already written stuff about that so there's no point in repeating all that so I'll just mention the things that surprised me. However, if anyone has any questions I would be more than happy to answer. Everyone always talks about how nice Garramone is and I don't really see it. I mean he was nice but more business like than I expected. He came in and did his thing and left, no chit chat which maybe he was just like that with me because I didn't really talk at all because I was scared as anything. But yeah, I guess that didn't bother me because I just wanted to get it all over with but I just expected him to be friendlier. He did talk to me 100% like I was a guy which was nice though I wouldn't expected anything different considering what he does. My mom went with me and she got really annoyed because the day of my pre-op appointment they called and asked if I could come in later and then when we got there they kept us waiting forever. I think we waited like an hour and a half before we saw Garramone, which is ridiculous but I was so busy being scared to really notice. My mom really wanted to do stuff in Florida before my surgery since we were there and so it did really inconvenience us and so I don't blame her for being annoyed. We had to wait a long time when we went for the post-op too but neither of us really cared because it's not like we would have been doing anything interesting and we were both smart enough to bring a book the second time. Anyways, that's my big advice and insight, bring a book. Lol
In case you didn't notice there's a reoccurring concept, my fear. I get that the process scared me and that I expected, doctors, hospitals, surgery, all that is naturally very frightening. But the concept itself scared me too. Before, during and after I doubted whether or not I was doing the right thing. It's such a drastic, final thing. One day I got really brave and excited and booked it and then the closer it got the more I tried not to think about it because it scared me. The hormones were gradual, I mean I wish they weren't, but it did make starting them easier and most of the effects are reversible. I kept thinking that once I do this it's done and that scared me. I used to bind with ace bandages and so then when I had the money to buy real binders I guess I was so appreciative that they were so much more comfortable in comparison that wearing it didn't really bother me. And then when I started taking the hormones between my chest getting smaller and my confidence growing I realized no one could actually notice my chest and I started to feel comfortable in like t-shirts and stuff.
For a couple of weeks after the surgery I felt sick thinking about it and I think I had even more doubts about whether I did the right thing. I can officially say now that it is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I knew it would be nice not having to bind but I guess I didn't know how nice. And I definitely never realized how good fabric feels on your chest or the wind or just looking at myself. But it also feels different. It just feels so right. Even with the scars I just want to look at or touch my chest all the time because it just makes me so happy. I guess I just wanted to let anyone who's nervous about doing it know that it's worth it in ways I can't even describe and you can't realize how much happier it'll make you until you do it.
I was also worried about the results because at first it looked really gross but everyday it's getting better. It's only been five weeks so of course the scars are really noticeable but even if nothing changed at all from this point it was worth every penny. I love looking at my chest even with the scar. If it wasn't for the acne all over my back I would literally take my shirt off constantly. The acne is my bigger problem right now but that's gradually getting better too. The fact that I'm not binding anymore helps and I'm putting acne stuff on it almost every night. But yeah, Garramone did an amazing job, I do plan on posting pictures at some point but I'm kind of waiting a little longer for it to heal a little bit more but it looks great.
Anyways, I apologize I don't have time to go into more details right not. I'm just crazy busy but if anyone has any questions I have no problem sharing and thank you to everyone whose posts I read that convinced me to do it in the first place.
