Dealing with the stop stare laugh lookback laugh people.

[Shannon1979]

But yeah, just ignore them (says one that is so scared of actually leaving the house dressed like my true self).

Most are afraid of going out of the house when they start out. But once you do it yes you do have to put up with morons on occasion you can start living life. I was petrified the first time i went out at a time when there where people about. and it does take time to build that confidence. i imagine there are very few of us that never felt this when going out.

[xchristine]

I was petrified also...but also ....saturated with booze!!!
But I started going out dressed in my mid teens...
By the time I got onto hrt I was already accomplished...

It's all just so many things one can't say this or that for sure...
Being taken as a woman...a lot is how you act...

[Elle16]

I was just wondering if you wear a wig Shannon? Or is that your real hair?

I've though about buying one as I can't stand going out in "boy mode" anymore... I just feel false it's really weird!

I'm looking at several on Ebay - some are really nice, good prices too. Does it make passing easier?

[blue]

It helps my state of mind to respond as actively as possible. I have shouted back in a one on one situation or I had some backup, I believe in naming the behavior and shaming people for it. Otherwise, I glance over the group and then my surroundings and assess: are they likely to escalate to violence, where is my nearest possible source of witnesses if not support that would serve to deter violence, how can I get off the street/out of the situation. Make a plan if I need it, and I often will make a plan just for practice even if I don't.

Even if the negativity is unlikely to escalate to violence, just running through this checklist consciously puts my mind in a better place. It reminds me that I am not a doormat for the world's idiots and I can make active responses.

Perhaps I can do nothing to protect myself from hurt feelings, my heart is big and tender, but I am as ready as I can be to take care of myself. This helps enormously with the hurt feelings. I think it is because if I am ready to take care of myself, that means I think I have value no matter what some creepy people are saying. Then it is easier not to care about them.

I think all women and non-binary folks may benefit from a self defense course if a supportive instructor can be found. My experience with martial arts instructors has been positive, maybe I have been lucky but mine have all had in common a deep loathing for bullies and a desire to empower vulnerable people who are targets, wherever they fell on trans awareness.

[xchristine]

Definitely self defence....
Ive often dreamed of taking a year in Thailand to
Train in muay Thai or boran....
.....or jsut what u used to do...
Carry a ridiculously strong pepper spray
Which one time I had to spray a man...
Not for assukting me...he was going to
Rape me ...and if I had not had the spray. .
He would have been successfull and I would
Be traumatized

[Corwynn Jade]

I tend to smile back at them when this happens, which usually catches them enough off guard that they've left the area by the time they start joking about me again, if they even recover this much. Either way, if i can handle the initial annoyance, it is usually short lived because of this tactic

[Shannon1979]

I was just wondering if you wear a wig Shannon? Or is that your real hair?

I've though about buying one as I can't stand going out in "boy mode" anymore... I just feel false it's really weird!

I'm looking at several on Ebay - some are really nice, good prices too. Does it make passing easier?

Hi yes it is a wig. I do have hair ie i am not going bald, but it is not long enough yet to be styled. I ordered mine from a company online called simply wigs. I chose it because it frames my face correctly and does help with passing. I would recommend going for one that has a similar color to your own hair, and also its worth spending the money for a decent one. It doesnt nessisarily have to be real hair but quality is important.

However i will warn that if like me you still require one when you go full time they can be a pain in the preverbial. i have now clipped mine back into more of a pony tail style due to constantly combing out tangles. in my case i shouldnt need it for much longer, if you do require to wear one permenantly tho i would recomend a carefull choice of one that doesnt require so much maintenance.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I know Ur a UK girl so think of Donna from my transsexual summer.  Her attitude disarmed things like that quite well.  It's still available to view on the channel 4 website. 

[Elle16]

Hi yes it is a wig. I do have hair ie i am not going bald, but it is not long enough yet to be styled. I ordered mine from a company online called simply wigs. I chose it because it frames my face correctly and does help with passing. I would recommend going for one that has a similar color to your own hair, and also its worth spending the money for a decent one. It doesnt nessisarily have to be real hair but quality is important.

However i will warn that if like me you still require one when you go full time they can be a pain in the preverbial. i have now clipped mine back into more of a pony tail style due to constantly combing out tangles. in my case i shouldnt need it for much longer, if you do require to wear one permenantly tho i would recomend a carefull choice of one that doesnt require so much maintenance.

Great! thank you 

I'll probably get one in the near future, I did go out with extensions on and it was really fake, not me at all and keeping them on under my hat left my hair in a right mess, lol!

I've watched my Transsexual summer, the girls on there are so brave to come out on tv! I think almost everyone in the area knows about me now anyway, I keep hetting stares when I'm out even in boy mode...

[GendrKweer]

I think it is also important to point out that you shouldn't always assume laughter you hear is directed at you. Although you may be more sensitive to try to pick up on it, people do laugh and screw around in groups without it always being at you.

[Mollie]

My mobile phone (cell phone) is my friend. Until recently I was a teacher in a secondary school. OK I never wore a skirt but I wore women's trousers, blouse, shoes, make-up, woman's hair style, nail varnish....and remember, a school!!!!  Lest you're not aware of this, teenagers can be cruel. Anyway, back to the phone. I just found it a great distractor to take out my phone and pretend to be using it when I sensed a s->-bleeped-<-fest approaching......And if that failed? My machete did the trick. Decapitated heads rolling about the ground and blood spurting up the walls. Get the leaders first and the rest get the hint. (and if that didn't work? Detention )

[Shannon1979]

I think it is also important to point out that you shouldn't always assume laughter you hear is directed at you. Although you may be more sensitive to try to pick up on it, people do laugh and screw around in groups without it always being at you.

Very true. while that particular incident was directed at me, you are correct you become hyper vigilant and when you do hear laughter you can easily assume its directed at you without really checking. that does die down after a while though as you get used to it.

[barbie]

Two days ago, I entered the women's public restroom in a beach at night while wearing skirt and 5-inch heels like the following photo.



The restroom was locked and needed a key card. A relatively tall and pretty young girl behind me opened the door for me by her card. She smiled at me. She was so kind and beautiful to my eyes 

After finishing my job, I came out and glanced at another young lady washing hands in the front of the mirror. She wore a yellow top, and looked like her early 20s. I just went out. Suddenly she approached behind me, smiling and then saying like "I am wondering whether you are a transgender." I looked at her and her tummy was relatively big compared with other young girls in the beach. Then she said "I ask you because you are so tall.". I did not say anything and just left.

In a ten minutes, while I chatted with my old friends in the beach, I saw her again. She walked with an aged woman, probably her mom. She did not looked at me, but the aged woman did watch me and smile (or laugh) in the distance.

As I looked very tall, a lot of people pay attention to me when I wear heels. It is inevitable. Also people pay attention to my friends who walk with me, and my friends say that they were surprised that I attract so many eyes in the street. In the above photo, you can notice that one aged woman watches my back in the distance.

Thus, some people seem to think I am too tall and suspect I may be m2f transsexual. Through TV and newspaper, people here know well about transsexual. And I noticed that there was a 'transgender bar' near the restroom. I have never entered there, but I heard that extremely beautiful m2f transsexual ladies serve there.

Anyway, they watch me and smile (or laugh); then I watch them and smile (laugh?) with my old friends while chatting about them. It is the same game.

barbie~~