What can I expect?

[Renee Amanda]

Hey, T-girls! My name is Renee Amanda. I've fully embraced that I'm a woman inside, and I'm going to do the transition process. I have a few questions, though. Any who've gone through this, can you help out a fellow lady? Thanks!

Okay, so, questions.

How much does it cost?
How long does it take before the operation? The HRT?
Do I have to get rid of ALL the organs, including the testes?
Will the HRT hurt?
Will the operation hurt?
How long is recovery after the operation?
Will I have to do HRT or another method for the rest of my life?
What can I expect from the transition?
Am I doing the right thing, messing with God's choice for me?
Will I still enter Heaven?
Are there any sites someone can reccomend for research?
Can I still sing baritone afterwards?

Thanks, all. You can answer any or all of the questions, I'm not picky.

[Jamie D]

Let me just chime in to say hello, Renee Amanda!   

We have lots of topics in various sections of the boards which discuss your questions in detail, as well as our wiki resource.

[Christine167]

Hey Renee like Jamie said there's a lot of information here to help and don't forget the Wiki on the home page here.

That said depending on where you are in the world the rules and associated costs are different. So start there. Also you need to decide on the extent of transformation that you are looking for. That is not everyone goes through gender reassignment surgery or even HRT. I'd suggest seeing a therapist or someone who can be an impartial person to confide so that they can help you sort your feelings out on this topic. Then you can start making a transition plan.

As for going to heaven or hell that is really dependent on your personal beliefs. Personally I have faith and not religion so heaven has an open door for me. You need to take such considerations in and make that decision for yourself.

Also you aren't messing with Gods creation. God gave you a challenge. How you resolve it is up to you. There is not a wrong answer to this. Otherwise people born without legs have no business with prosthetics and I think that we all know that would just be silly.

Welcome and please take your time with this. I was in a rush when I first came to terms with my gender issues to. Now I know that taking it slow and planning a head is the least painful approach because physical pain is one thing and goes away quickly but emotional pain is something else entirely.

[Riley Skye]

First I would like to say welcome to the forums! You will find many helpful people here.

As for your questions you can find all the answers on the sites wiki and just looking about on google and even youtube but I would say most of them are of people own accounts. But to answer your question on HRT it doesn't hurt per say, unless you count those growing pains you get in your breasts lol. It's different for everyone, to me it has been a very emotional experience. To start HRT first you will need to see a therapist for at least three months and you will get a letter of recommendation to start it. When you get the letter you will need to see an endocrinologist who will prescribe you hormones and review blood tests that you must get to make sure you are healthy. And when you go into it expect only that it will bring your body in line with your mind. Do not have unrealistic expections that it will turn you into an absolutely drop dead gorgeous girl and such but that it will help turn you into the woman you were meant to be. Lastly with the HRT have patience and don't even think about it, only focus on the things you can control and just let it be, in time the changes will come!

As for sexual reassignment surgery which I'm assuming is what you are referring to I will first say about is that you have to think long and hard about it, once you get it you can never go back. It should be the final step in your transition after every other outlet you have is exhausted, I would honestly look into facial feminization surgery also. But to get it you need to have at least one year of real life experience, living as a woman full time, before you are eligible for the surgery. That said I would highly suggest you do research, look up what the procedure is, all the details you can find.

Well I can't really answer you on the religious questions you have I would suggest you pray or meditate on them, perhaps this might be gods challenge for you. Honestly I don't think god would punish you for becoming who you really are. Otherwise I wouldn't bother worshiping a god that would send you to hell simply for being who you are.

Basically just relax and take this all one step at a time, do not rush anything. First thing you should do is to go to your local LGBT center and ask for help, they'll be more than glad to point you in the right direction and may even find a good therapist for you. With all that said i wish you the best of luck and if you ever need to talk don't be afraid to send me a PM!

[A]

Hey, T-girls! My name is Renee Amanda. I've fully embraced that I'm a woman inside, and I'm going to do the transition process. I have a few questions, though. Any who've gone through this, can you help out a fellow lady? Thanks!

Okay, so, questions.

How much does it cost?
Vastly depends on your country. In Québec, Canada, SRS is covered, and hormones, like all medications, are covered at 80 % (up to a total monthly medication cost of around 85 $ after government insurance, after which everything is free). The rest, however, like hair removal and non-genital surgeries, are not covered at all. Wait, hair removal can be covered if performed by a doctor... but there exists no doctor who does laser themself.
How long does it take before the operation? The HRT?
Vastly depends on your country, and even the professionals that you see. Here, a safe estimation is probably 1 year with a psychiatrist for HRT, and one year of living in the target gender to have SRS.
Do I have to get rid of ALL the organs, including the testes?
Well, the testes are pretty much the first thing you'll want to get rid of. Not everyone gets rid of the penis, but no one gets rid of it while keeping the testes. Testes are what produce testosterone, and removing them is the least costy surgery. Not to mention that if you want a vagina, the skin of the scrotum is necessary. If you want any genital surgery, the testes have to go.

Are you worried about your fertility? You know, once you start HRT, you accept that you will no longer be fertile after not so long. If you want to keep the possibility of fathering (because yeah, technically, you'll be the biological father) a biological child, you need to store your sperm at a special facility before starting HRT.
Will the HRT hurt?
Eh, no. Why would it? Oh, wait. While growing, breasts are sensitive, and you might get a bit of temporary pain. Nothing major, and you might not even feel much if any pain.
Will the operation hurt?
Eh, you'll be unconscious during the surgery. So in that sense, no, it doesn't hurt. But yeah, you're getting your flesh cut and rearranged. Of course there's going to be some pain while it heals. Dunno how bad it is though. I haven't had it yet.
How long is recovery after the operation?
A FULL recovery (with sexual function entirely unlimited and not a lot of dilation) takes a bit more than a year, I think. The "basic" recovery takes two weeks, I believe, after which you can go home. But I'm not sure how active you can be at that point. Probably safe to assume you're not going to be kicking and running and swimming for a good month or two at least.
Will I have to do HRT or another method for the rest of my life?
Well, yes. If you want to stay healthy, you'll need to take hormones. Your body needs hormones of either sex to work. Not to mention most of the changes HRT has brought your body will gradually revert if you stop HRT.
What can I expect from the transition?
Eh, this is a really vague question. Basically, if you truly are transsexual, and this is the right choice for you, then you will feel happier, more yourself, more free. Something like that. Not sure what you want to know.
Am I doing the right thing, messing with God's choice for me?
Are you asking me? I don't give a damn about God because his chance of existing is the same as any other god, and all of his "sayings", assuming they were his to begin with, were severly distorted by Churches along history. Are you asking about how religion will take your choice? If they don't take it well, then they've understood their god wrong, because the philosophy of the christian religion is to accept people the way they are. God, or any other divinity, didn't choose your gender identity. The intrauterine hormone levels when your brain developed its gender did. And that, my friend, is quite random and influenced by tons of factors, many of which are vastly unknown. One thing is sure: if you're a girl inside, it's not your fault, and no one could have changed that. It's a fact that was there from birth and won't change. Making your body follow is just healthy, and anyone who tells you otherwise is most likely being irrational.

Don't let religion dictate your choices. It'll always be a mistake to do that. Wasn't it christianity that said that God created humans so that they would make their own choices? If YOU feel it's right, then go for it. No bible or priest needs to be involved.
Will I still enter Heaven?
[cynical mode]Chances are that you won't, because given the numerous beliefs about life after death, statistically there's a good chance that christianity is NOT the one who is right about this.[cynical mode off]

More seriously speaking, from what I know about christianity (I'm technically catholic), there is no reason any homosexual or transgendered person would be committing a sin for being true to who they are. Actually, lying to oneself and dishonesty is much more of a sin, according to religion, isn't it?

People claiming homosexuality and transsexualism are sinful do so on political, conservative grounds, and use religion as an argument of authority to convince people. The reason why "religion" is against LGBT stuff is that some priests, not God, not even the Pope, are homo/transphobic. A reason I can see is that the Church has always been for a very prosper development of the human species: make babies, sixteen of them at least, no matter if you can't feed all of them well, they said, a few centuries ago. It's much less extreme today, but still, they want to make "little children of God".

The reason to that is that like too many religions, the christian ones have a tradition to force children into them before they can even understand what it is and choose a religion freely. Thus, believers making babies is by far the most effective way to increase the number of worshippers. And religions are always on an influence war regarding who has the most believers, not to mention funds come proportionally with the number of people. Aaaaand many priests want as many people as possible so they can politically manipulate them, tricking them into thinking that's what God wants, like they seem to have done with you. Same with parents/children. Much easier to convince your children of your irrational ideas if you tell them the big guy who'll decide whether they burn in hell or be happy forever said so.

All that to say that the church is against anything that decreases the number of children people will have, with no very good reason. After all, humanity is clearly having an overpopulation problem, and it would be much better if more people had 1-2 children (actually decreasing or maintaining themselves) instead of multiplying. Less people, more food, less pollution, less violence.
Are there any sites someone can reccomend for research?
TSRoadMap is good, even though it's outdated. This very site contains pretty good stuff too, even though it's quite disorganized.
Can I still sing baritone afterwards?
Yeah. Unless you get your voice surgically changed - and most don't need to do that - your training will only ALLOW you to speak like a woman. It won't remove any of your ability to speak or sing like you used to, unless you absolutely don't practice it at all and effectively forget how to make your old voice. Though personally I'd recommend that you try to learn to sing more like a woman, if you intend to live as a woman. A woman singing like a man does sound awkward, doesn't it?

Thanks, all. You can answer any or all of the questions, I'm not picky.

[Renee Amanda]

So, losing my testes won't cause me to lose my male voice? Because that was my main fear. I don't care about being fertile. I'm going to marry my boyfriend, anyway. I'll wait to do the vaginoplasty until it's the absolute last step before I can fully become who I'm meant to be. Thanks!

[Jamie D]

Once puberty has changed your male voice, you have to retrain it to sound female.  The capability is there, and if you are not satisfied, there is always voice surgery.

[Renee Amanda]

What about the face feminization? Can I have it done all at once, or is it a one-procedure-at-a-time thing?

Oh, also? I've heard a lot of horror stories about estrogen tablets or any type of it causing cancer. Is this true, and if it is, can I prevent it in any way?

[Jamie D]

Hmmm.  I really don't know.  I suppose it depends on how much reconstruction the doctor has to do.  I leave this for others to answer, but most do it sequentially.

[Joanna Dark]

So, losing my testes won't cause me to lose my male voice? Because that was my main fear. I don't care about being fertile. I'm going to marry my boyfriend, anyway. I'll wait to do the vaginoplasty until it's the absolute last step before I can fully become who I'm meant to be. Thanks!

No the E will not change your voice whatsoever and neither will SRS. It may slightly alter pitch and resonance. I think it is easier to speak womanly now however. Wherever your voice is now it will stay that way. So you don't want to sound female? Just look female and speak with a baritone voice? Just curious.

[Renee Amanda]

No the E will not change your voice whatsoever and neither will SRS. It may slightly alter pitch and resonance. I think it is easier to speak womanly now however. Wherever your voice is now it will stay that way. So you don't want to sound female? Just look female and speak with a baritone voice? Just curious.

Oh, no, it's not that! It's just... I'm a really good singer, and baritone is all I've got. If I lost my voice... I don't know WHAT would happen. Still wondering about the E causing cancer, though.

[Joanna Dark]

E doesn't cause cancer. There's no evidence of that. Liver problems and breast cancer are a myth and I have read many studies and haven't seen one case of mortality from either of those things.

[Renee Amanda]

E doesn't cause cancer. There's no evidence of that. Liver problems and breast cancer are a myth and I have read many studies and haven't seen one case of mortality from either of those things.

Oh. Well, then why do so many discourage it? Also, can I take a supplement to enhance a girlish figure and encourage breast growth with it? Or will it just do all the work for me? And how long do the hormones take before they... Develop?

[A]

Eh, well, I guess if you're not sure you get all the vitamins, etc. you need, you could take a multivitamin. You don't need anything special though. The growth speed varies according to corpulence (thinner = less breasts, in all likelihood), age and genetic factors, but I think it's safe to say that after one year or less (assuming you have a decent dose, unlike me) your breasts should be very noticeable and maybe at 75 % of their final size. After two years I think it's safe to assume your breasts will be very near to completion. I think they'll then grow very slowly until they finally reach their final state, after a total of, what, 3-5 years? But it can divert from that a lot.

As for cancer... I think the best answer is "because they're ignorant". IF you somehow get a specific kind of cancer, THEN hormones can encourage its growth. But on HRT you're going to be followed by a professional who'll make sure that doesn't happen.

Oh yeah, and your voice... Once you train yourself to talk like a woman (which 99 % trans women need to do, because sadly, voice isn't changed in any significant way by HRT, unlike in FTMs) it's no big stretch to train yourself to sing as such as well. Of course soprano is quite a stretch, but alto is probably not out of reach if you work hard. And if not, well, contralto, which as I recall is just a barytone who sounds female, is absolutely, completely doable.

[Renee Amanda]

Huh. I did not know this stuff. Could someone recommend a good therapist in TX? Also, what will they generally ask, and WHY do they ask these things? Will I be guaranteed to begin becoming Renee full time after the therapy? What vitamins should I take? Will I still be able to get a big belly? (My boyfriend's kind of into big bellies) I have so many questions!

[A]

Eh, most likely, no. Anyway, big bellies are very unhealthy, so tell your boyfriend to find a better fetish. AND 99 % of the planet regards a big belly as unattractive.

I'm sorry, I don't know how it work s in Texas at all... All I know is that it's doctors, not therapists, who prescribe HRT. So your most effective course of action is probably to find a doctor who will prescribe HRT, and then see whoever that doctor asks you to see.


Vitamins... Nothing in particular. Just make sure you have your recommended daily intake of everything.

Therapists... generally, tbeu will aim to 1. make sure you're transsexual, 2. make sure you're mentally ready to transition and 3. help you come to terms witb your gender identity.

[Renee Amanda]

But WHY should I have to come to terms with it? I KNOW I'm a lady! I HATE testosterone for turning me into this monster! I just... I want to be happy in the body I need. BTW, A... Maple Leaf SMACK! *Canadian attack!* glad to meet a fellow Canadian T-girl! Was... Was it hard for you, becoming who you truly are? Do you ever regret it? Will you take me on as a sister, an apprentice of sorts? Also, will my feet and hands shrink, or will I have to wear big shoes and jewelery?

[A]

But WHY should I have to come to terms with it? I KNOW I'm a lady! I HATE testosterone for turning me into this monster! I just... I want to be happy in the body I need.
The therapist doesn't know that. And maybe somewhere deep within, you still have little knots that need to be untangled. If you don't have any problems and yoou're fully ready, then it'll just make the process faster. Not to mention there are many who KNEW and were SURE, and then either turned back or deeply regretted their choice. The role of these professionals is to make sure you don't make a mistake and that everything goes as smoothly as possible when the time comes.
BTW, A... Maple Leaf SMACK! *Canadian attack!* glad to meet a fellow Canadian T-girl!
Wait, what? What about Texas?
Was... Was it hard for you, becoming who you truly are?
Hard to find the courage, yeah. Apart from that, no. It just feels good. Been having trouble with stubborn and/or unknowledgeable professionals, but that can't be helped, and is majorly bad luck-driven.
Do you ever regret it?
Uhm, no. Even by thinking hard, I see absolutely nothing remotely good in being a guy, at all. It's like asking me if I regret escaping some slavery camp. The answer is easy.
Will you take me on as a sister, an apprentice of sorts?
Ehm, I can answer any question you feel like asking me, I guess. Not like I'm a seasoned expert or anything though. I've just gone full time, like, 2 weeks ago.
Also, will my feet and hands shrink, or will I have to wear big shoes and jewelery?
Hands, no idea; probably not. Feet, probably not; BUT there have been people who lost several shoe sizes for mysterious reasons. Someone even got quite a bit shorter, at almost 30 years old. So don't count on it, but it might happen. And don't buy tons of shoes before going full-time and being on HRT for a good while, in case you end up frustrated with shoes that are too big.

[Jamie D]

Could someone recommend a good therapist in TX?

BTW, A... Maple Leaf SMACK! *Canadian attack!* glad to meet a fellow Canadian T-girl!

Do you plan on relocating soon?  And to what part of Texas?  I can get you a listing of therapists with GLBT experience.

[Renee Amanda]

So a therapist basically helps you down the transformation (that's what I call it, I think it sounds better) and gives advice? Neat!

Yeah... I'm Canadian, but when I begin my transformation, I'm moving to TX, because of social issues, and possible problems here.

When could I get the orchiectomy?
Once I have it, the testosterone stops, right?

Right now, that's all I've got for questions, A. I'm glad to have met you. Your journal, btw, especially the beginning, is EXACTLY what I feel like. Is your family situation better, at least, or did you have to make a new family, as I have?

Oh, and to Jamie D. Yes, I'm planning on relocating early next year, to around the Dallas area (Plano and the like) for work reasons.