It should not be a question of if its a choice to be transgender or not...

[Katelyn]

I think it's funny how when people think it's a choice it always just so happens to line up exactly with whatever their agenda is.  They have no experience with it, they've never thought about it for more than 12 seconds, but boy are they ever sure they are right!

That's what I call a snob, and I mentioned it before.  The snob believes that whatever they think the world is IS the way it is and that if others don't conform to it, that they have the right to go and tell them what the "right" way to do and be is.  They can be "knowitalls" and very assured of their own opinions (may even think of them as facts.)  The snob doesn't respect other people, and wants to impose their views on things on other people if the other person's ways irritates them too much or they are not afraid of.  The snob is very stubborn with their view.  There are all types of snobs, liberal snobs, conservative snobs, libertarian snobs, religious snobs (evangelicals / fundamentalists for example), etc...

Merriam Webster Definition, definition 3B of snob:

"one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste"

[Jess42]

The question should be:  Why should anyone have the right to tell someone else how to live their life when the only "harm" that someone does to others is get bigots, snobs, and social dictators angry?  Most often its the religious conservatives the ones that make up these wild fears about the "consequences" of "deviant behavior" that turn out to be unfounded, look at what they accused everyone from rock n roll bands in the 50s to gay people nowadays of, that turn out to be BS / baloney.

People that hate transgender people have a problem with themselves and most likely are often irritating / annoying  / judgemental ->-bleeped-<- type people in general,   In other words, its their problem, not ours.

I believe the best answer to that is people have the incessant need to feel good about themselves and stroke their own ego and the best way to do that is to belittle others that they think are not like themselves.

[Katelyn]

For me, the only reason I care about friends or family's opinions is because I don't really have much of a choice, in that I don't have a "trans family" or group of good accepting friends I can rely on to be able to replace the "cis-friends" or family that I know.  And I do need some people in my life at least for whatever happens, as I've been in situations where if I didn't have the help of a friend or a family member, I'd be seriously screwed.

[BunnyBee]

I believe the best answer to that is people have the incessant need to feel good about themselves and stroke their own ego and the best way to do that is to belittle others that they think are not like themselves.

I think it is devotion to order that makes people behave that way.  In order to categorize and create order from chaos, you must draw a dividing line between all gradients.  On this side, black on that side white, put them on their shelf.  Good and evil, right and wrong, the world is separated into absolutes.

Artists turning a world of vibrant color into 2-bit black and white.  They shape existence with verve and flair.  Partitioning, apportioning, separating—radiant sunsets become blotches of ink on paper.  They constrain the whole of existence and fit it in a manageable box.  Now they understand the entire universe and it's every nuance.  Now nothing is unknown.  Now they are truly in control.  Now they are safe.

[Katelyn]

I believe the best answer to that is people have the incessant need to feel good about themselves and stroke their own ego and the best way to do that is to belittle others that they think are not like themselves.

The whole point though is that especially with civil rights movements, its about not judging people based on stereotypes, differences, and other preconceived notions, and not reducing people's identity to certain categories, as such thinking is what has made men to judge women, white people to judge black people, Americans to muslims, etc...   

[Katelyn]

I think it is devotion to order that makes people behave that way.  In order to categorize and create order from chaos, you must draw a dividing line between all gradients.  On this side, black on that side white, put them on their shelf.  Good and evil, right and wrong, the world is separated into absolutes.

Artists turning a world of vibrant color into 2-bit black and white.  With unbound creativity they shape existence with verve and flair.  Partitioning, apportioning, separating—radiant sunsets become blotches of ink on paper.  They constrain the whole of existence and fit it in a manageable box.  Now they understand the entire universe and it's every nuance.  Now nothing is unknown.  Now they are truly in control.  Now they are safe.

Thus, these are people that are fearful of life, fearful of the world, and often fearful of change.  They look for any model that simplifies life, whether it is religion, or an ideology, and try to fit life into that box.

The way that one reacts can often give away what they think or are trying to hide.

[Just Shelly]

You know all people want to be liked or loved unconditionally....

Everyone has conditions they either are attracted too or need....children seem to be the only ones that can love unconditionally....by being trans it automatically asks others to like or love you as long as they accept you.

This is one reason I like to remain stealth...I am not putting anymore conditions on someone to either like or love me....they either like or dislike me for reasons that may be vein or personal...but at least I know its not for "what" I am!! Eventually a time will come where new friends will need to know....at least they will know who I am before they find out "what" I am!

The friends and family that remain friends and still love you the same are truly the ones that like or love you unconditionally....for some it seems you have put too many conditions for them to continue on with their friendship....no biggie...they never were a friend to begin with!

This is also why I try to make some friendships with similar people as I....There are no conditions I need to hide!!

[DeniseD]

I have only a few people that know of my trans tendencies, a couple of them are totally accepting and don't see it as a "choice". One very close GG friend is sort  of accepting, but from her questions over the last several months about how I identify or perceive myself, I get the impression that she totally believes it is a choice. And I'm OK with that, in her instance because she is overall very supportive of me and helped me immensely in the aftermath of my wife's death last year (and the fact that I'm immensely attracted to her and think I would love to have a LTR with her), perhaps I overlook some things because of that attraction. My attempts to become the female I sometimes think I want to be have been difficult, I spent many years trying to be the man society/family wanted me to be, repressing the female thoughts time after time until they would burst through again and at age 64 I'm not sure I want to go through the upheaval that totally coming out might involve. Choice? My female side is not a choice, it is there in spite of whatever I do, the only choice I see is what to do with it in my remaining years, at this point in time I'm comfortable in simply knowing what was behind so many issues in my life, now I can live more peacefully since I can acknowledge to myself what was happening.