Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PM
It's easier to live as a man, period.
The way you start your post almost makes it seem like an impossible debate... it's discouraging to discuss anything with anyone who starts by stating that their opinion is a fact. =/
It is not, I'll give it an attempt at explaining why...
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PMIf a man looks raggedy he can get away with it without being chastised by both genders.
This is the worst arguement possible. "Men get to look like crap and nobody will say anything"... Is this really an advantage? Who seriously
wants to look "raggedy"? Is that supposed to comfort anyone born in the male sex? Perhaps some appreciate it but I'm sure most men out there want to look their best and feel as desirable as their female counterparts. Being able to get away with looking bad isn't a social advantage, it's to balance things out for having a restricted wardrobe with limited clothing expression in comparison to the other sex, for being uncapable of wearing make-up without facing public ridicule, along with a lot of other factors. It simply wouldn't be fair for the same expectations regarding appearence to be equal for men and women... A woman has a pimple? She covers it up with make-up... a man has a pimple? He sucks it up or risks listening to snarky remarks for wearing make-up. I'm sure most people like to feel attractive and cover their flaws... men aren't given as much option regarding this as women are, therefore men have to be cut some slack.
Me, as a person, regardless of what gender I identify with, want to look good. Is it not fulfilling for most people to feel they are good-looking? It is a human need, not a gendered one.
I always wanted to express my own individuality and to seem pleasant to the eye; women have a lot more tools at their disposal for accomplishing this. I got shunned for waxing my legs as a teen, but the fact is that I was simply trying to be comfortable with myself. Of course that on the other side you have women that will get laughed at if their legs are hairy... my opinion? A man should be able to be as pretty as a woman if he desired to, a man should be able to get rid of every single hair on his body if that's what he aspires to, a woman should be entitled to have a forest under her arm-pits if that's what she wanted. It's basically freedom of expression. Just don't tell men "being able to look raggedy" is something to be thankful for, when most of us know how fun it is to get all dolled up. I will stress again that feeling attractive is a human need, not a gendered one, so men should groom themselves all they want if it makes them feel good and fulfilled. Men have a lot less to look forward to when it comes to pampering themselves and feeling good about themselves... Some men are okay with this, some are not; people are people, not genders. The way I see it, things come down to whether you feel good expressing femininity, masculinity or a blend of both.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PMLet a girl walk in a room wearing something that makes her look fat. Oh, and if a woman can't get a man in todays society, she can at least make it - but she can almost expect to have a mediocre career that IS somewhat based on looks, where men will not take her seriously and women will target her to take her down if she is better at what she does than everybody else.
I think that's a huge exaggeration... there are problems, but I don't think any gender is antagonized that dramatically. Have you ever wondered why women are taken "less seriously" in their workplace? It's to do with the false assumption that they're more emotional beings, whereas men are more likely to suck it up, "be men" and "man their way through it". Men inspire more confidence in workplaces, which is absurd if you ask me... Like I said, people are people, there's a lot of women who're better leaders and more competent than men at any given task and vice-versa. The thing is men are emotional creatures too and if society acknowledged that fact as much as it does with women, there'd be less gender-stereotyping and stupid assumptions being made. Now, it must be stressed that only certain profiles are capable of holding positions of leadership, because they generally involve more masculine traits, such as dominance, power, assertiveness and such. Women
can and possess these traits, it's just sort of expected that men are more likely to possess them because society lives on the pathetic assumption that masculinity = men and femininity = women.
I would respect fellow co-workers regardless of their gender and try to make no assumptions of their personality, however, it's a bit of an automated process to question their seriousness if they were say, for example, parading themselves around the office in revealing clothing, which women are much more likely to get away with. I hate generalizations but, to my eyes, it's a little undeniable that women are way more free to exert their sensuality to get ahead and gain attention, whereas men tend to have to downplay themselves and rely solely on their skills. Again, I'm not saying this is commonplace or not, I'm a student and never worked in my life, but the impression I have of society as a whole is that women have the
option to exploit their sensuality to get ahead way more than men do, and as such, a whole gender loses a certain amount of credibility. I think it's a defensive mechanism to respond to the way society works...
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PMAs a man, I could go in and interview and almost expect to walk away with a job. As a woman, I'm hoping it's a guy that thinks I'm attractive. If it's a woman, then she'll likely find a man, if it's a married man, then he'll more than likely pick the lady that his wife isn't going to be threatened by if I'm working with him on a day to day basis, if the interviewer thinks I'm unattractive, they'll probably throw my resume away just because women are suppose to uphold a standard of attractiveness.
To me that sounds almost dellusional and insulting to most men and women... I don't think people are hired based on what they look like, nor that whoever is hiring people for a specific job is necessarily interested in who they're hiring, that sounds almost disgusting... there's a point in life where people settle down to raise a family and don't really care what their coworkers look like as long as they're competent? I don't think high school mentalities really stick around with most individuals? People have their own relationships and won't be forever seeking to surround themselves with good-looking people, come on...
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PMAnd it's not that much easier as an attractive female. If women think you're attractive (especially those 40-50 year old women), they'll feel threatened by you. They'll look at you without a smile and be very evasive of you. Not to mention they'll plot against you. I had a "friend" tell a couple guys that I may be HIV positive (I'm not) just because she saw me as competition. I've also had a "friend" tell a guy I am trans because she liked the guy and the guy liked me. Women are ruthless.
I think it's more that people are ruthless, rather than women being ruthless... There's good and bad people in both genders, it's not strictly a problem with women. Men are just as competitive in my experience, just the modus operandi of each sex is different because of their roles in society.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PMIf you're attractive in a mans world, yeah you can smile and make them do whatever. But the next cuter girl that comes in (especially if she's promiscuous), they'll flock to her and totally forget about you, and you wont get your talking "privileges" back. Any time you talk you'll be dismissed as the not so pretty girl who is just jealous because you're not the cutest thing around.
You're basically implying all men are whores -.- That's not been my experience... so many guys just want to settle down with one person and aren't on an everlasting chase for the perfect woman... *sigh* But whatever. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but will a guy who's in love really keep looking for other girls just because they might be more attractive than the person he loves? I don't know, maybe it happened to you or your experiences have been frustrating, but everyone has feelings, regardless if they're men or women, and that's what drives them... perhaps if someone moves away from you and onto someone else it's because there was no chemistry in the first place...
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 30, 2013, 11:09:22 PMBeing a woman sucks. I wish I was a guy, because I'd rock it if I could.
How about detransition? If not, I don't really think you "wish you were a guy". People (specially cis) say they wish they were the opposite sex far too frequently and far too unaware of the global picture... the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
There are gay guys, there are masculine guys, there are feminine guys, there are guys who want to be strong, there are guys who want to be next to someone strong. Some have it easier than others in our society, a "guy" is an abstract concept, because they're essentially people and being human is what's hard, not being a gender.
I'm not sure if my views are a bit radical, I hope not... but I do not see myself as a "woman" or a "man", I am not a box, I see myself as a person with feminine tendencies that must live as a woman to be able to fit the molds of society and coexist at peace with everyone else without receiving weird looks. I think it's a mistake to see people as women or men, because everyone is unique and nobody should make assumptions about what satisfies anyone or grants them fulfillment. I don't know how one can feel they are a "gender", I just feel me.
I'm more comfortable as a woman, which in turn should make me one, but that's not what I'm trying to be; I feel it's too dull and empty to only aspire to becoming a gender. I think we all are a lot more than that =)
