Not sure if I should move to try to get a job

[dreaming.forever]

First, I'd like to apologize for the lengthiness of this. Brevity is not my forte.

So, here's the situation. I'm FTM, I came out at work back in 2011, and was fired shortly thereafter. I couldn't get unemployment benefits. Once I finally got another job, I endured the long shifts until binding became too physically painful for me to handle (I wore two binders at once to get flat); I asked to work different hours and explained about the binding situation. The managers responded with a lot of hostility, and I quit because I couldn't handle the pain of binding and I'm sure they would have fired me soon anyway. I'd really overdone it with binding, as it took me three months of not binding until I could take a full deep breath, and to this day, my ribs are messed up.

So, I just freelance online, but it's only a drop in the bucket of what I need if I want to do more than just barely scrape by each month. I can't even afford testosterone anymore (been off it for a year or so), and I consider that to be a very basic need. I really, really, really want to do everything I can to make more money and get out of this rut. Because I can no longer bind, what with my ribs being screwed up, there's basically no way I can get another job here, in this extremely conservative place (Utah).

As for making more money freelancing online, I don't have my own website so I pay a 20% commission to the site I post my services on, and I haven't got the money or skills to make my own website. Having my own website would (if I could also get enough traffic) greatly increase my income as the target audience of the one I currently use for a fee is largely composed of those who can't or won't spend a lot of money.

I'm thinking about moving to Salt Lake City after my lease is over in April 2014, since it's supposedly a more accepting (for Utah, anyway) place and the cost of living is, presumably, not too much more than here. My main reason is I think I might have a chance at a job there, but I don't even know if it's realistic or me just dreaming.

I'm a college dropout (no interest in going back, even if it was free; I'll say why if you PM me but otherwise let's not discuss it), my work experience isn't anything fancy and is a bit sporadic, my legal name hasn't been changed from my girl name yet (my pride, and my unwillingness to navigate through a stack of paperwork, prevents me from requesting a fee waiver to get it changed), and as mentioned, I can't bind so I rarely pass. I also have epilepsy (not on any medication to suppress seizures), so that's a bit of a potential red flag to employers though it's really not as drastic as one might assume (I have partial seizures, so I'm not even unconscious when it happens), but it means I can't drive.

So... is it worth it? Is there any chance whatsoever that someone would hire me? I only know one person who lives in SLC, and he may or may not even still live there (my phone got shut off so we haven't talked in ages). I also have terrible credit due to losing my job and maxing out my credit card to pay for groceries/rent, so getting housing would be difficult (a co-signer isn't an option for me), if not impossible. I know it's still a while until I could even move there, but I like to have a plan in place.

If you all don't think I could get a job in SLC, what about California? Since rent is way higher over there, I'd have to stay here for much longer and somehow increase my freelancing income, so it's not my first option, but if I could get a job there, it might be worth it.

[Alaia]

I'd suggest checking HRC's corporate equality index. Head to the Ratings by Industry section (pg. 71), and lookup companies in your industry. Then see if any of the top rated ones have a presence near where you live.

I live in Utah too. Earlier this year I was job hunting and managed to hire on at EMC. I wasn't planning on transitioning at the time and didn't even know then that they are one of the top rated companies by HRC in the Tech sector. Not only do they have a non-discriminatory policy that prohibits discrimination based on gender identity; they also have great transgender benefits that pay for therapy, hormones, and SRS (including correcting secondary sex characteristics). I bring this up to point out that even in Utah there are great places for a trans* individual to work.

Although, I'm guessing it's much harder to get into the door after you've gone full-time, even at a company with non-discrimination policies that cover gender identity. I mean how can you prove that a recruiter/hiring manager was discriminating against you by not hiring you? It just seems difficult to prove. I feel for you in that regard, job hunting can't be easy here. But I still believe it's possible to get on at the right company.

I'm sure there are a lot more friendly environments for transfolk. I hear Portland is good, and then there's the bay area in Cali. But the cost of living can be way higher in those places too. It's doable though if you want to share an apartment/house with like 4 other people. Just check on craigslist for those areas and you'll see lots of roommate wanted ads that are LGBT friendly.