Years of waiting then all of a sudden.....

[Mollie]

After delays and waits and appointments and more appointments: after more than two years......all of a sudden its time. On Wednesday morning Oestrogen will pervade my system. Is this what it was like for everyone else? Did your world just suddenly become surreal. Today a letter came in to take to my GP on Wednesday, and that's it?........It just doesn't seem real. Is this making any sense at all? Something that was vague and ethereal and seemingly out of reach is oh so real and imminent. I am really not getting over what I'm talking about am I.....and I'm terrified also. I never saw that coming!!

[Shodan]

Yeah. I have no idea how I'm going to feel when I finally cross that bridge. I'm envious. My insurance very explicitly doesn't cover anything that's related to transsexual, and I don't have the kind of money to do it out of pocket, so I'm kind of stuck on that front.

[jamielikesyou]

Oh wow that's so good to hear and I wish you the best. It is awful that it took so long; you must have had an ogre of a gatekeeper :/

[Vicky]

3 years 360 days ago I was in your high heels, and yes it is a surreal moment when you actually have the stuff in your hands staring at you. Some darn near drop the bottle, and others just stare at it like they are afraid of it.  It is quite a ride though, and when it becomes just part of your daily routine, you can feel a bit let down.  Don't let that shake you though, you are still on the road and traveling.  Happy Birthday to come.  It really does make all the difference in life if it is really for you and really what will put you on the road to your best health. 

[xchristine]

That just sucks...
I can get hrt when I want in Canada
No wait no jump through hoops
Even from doctors who have never met me before

And I don't present female. .I am upfront with it
Rle after ffs

[Carrie Liz]

Yup. And I must say, that feeling of "Oh my God, I'm finally doing it! I'm really actually doing it!" Is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Scary, yes, because you don't know how anything will work out. But nonetheless amazing, because the whole world, and your future, are opening up before you.

Good luck! You're going to love it! I guarantee!

The first day that I was on estrogen was seriously one of the happiest days of my entire life.

[suzifrommd]

Actually I was scared. It was the first non-necessarily-reversible step I had taken. That was before coming out at work, to friends, etc.

But looking down and seeing breasts where they should be. Amazing.

[Jennygirl]

Yup. And I must say, that feeling of "Oh my God, I'm finally doing it! I'm really actually doing it!" Is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Scary, yes, because you don't know how anything will work out. But nonetheless amazing, because the whole world, and your future, are opening up before you.

Good luck! You're going to love it! I guarantee!

The first day that I was on estrogen was seriously one of the happiest days of my entire life.

+1!!

[FlyingPenguin]

I just started HRT two days ago. I know how you feel. I got my prescription about 2 weeks ago and could of started then, but choosing to start HRT is a VERY big decision! I was very nervous and anxious about it. Even though before I even went to the doctor I felt none of these feelings. It is easy to imagine transitioning in theory, but when it actually starts happening it can be very scary (especially if you are not "out" with everyone and still present as the gender you were assigned at birth). What helped me finally make the decision and start was reminding myself that I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Talking to my supportive friends and therapist helped as well.

Best of luck!

[Misato]

I took video when I took my first pill.  I was terrified.

At this point my past life seems surreal.  It's strange that I lived for 34 years as a guy and that feels like a distant memory or a dream after only just less than six months.

The T blocker was a bigger deal for me.  That gave me sanity over myself.  But I remember when I went to my Endo and she put the script in for my E.  10, 15 minutes, including a physical.  In and out.  That's all it was.  A lifetime of laying in my bed at night dreaming, craving, fearing the day I would go to the pharmacy to pickup my estrogen... I think that was the surreal thing.  When it was time, the moment passed by so quick it was practically anti-climatic.  But scary all the same.

Good luck Mollie.  May you have a wonderful transition!

[Teela Renee]

The moment I first put my E patch on, it was like a kuwala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain.

[PepperedIssy]

The moment I first put my E patch on, it was like a kuwala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain.

  That is possibly the most interesting way anyone's ever explained anything. Ever.

Well, if I ever have doubts on the matter, all I must think about now is 'a koala bear will crap a rainbow into my brain'... and ...  THAT SOUNDS AMAZING! But no no, not being mean! I just find it humorous is all, expected "oh it was so good" or "it wasn't much", but instead got that. Hehe..