Tips for girls new to guys

[JennX]

Mainly I want this thread to be for people to ask questions or state tips/opinions on how to act around guys romantically.

Just be yourself and be open and honest. That way you don't have to act in any certain prescribed manner. If you and a partner hit it off, it should be due to real, genuine, honest affection towards one another. Not due to having to act in a particular fashion to capture their interest, romantically or otherwise. Personally for me, transitioning was due in a large part, to the fact that I got tired of living a lie and having to act like someone I'm not. Or in some prescribed manner in which I was not comfortable.

Just be yourself.

[Jamie D]

jamie d is that a pick of you and your boyfriend? you look so young lol

Thank you Lily, but no, that's not me.  It was an illustration of what I was saying.

I look much more like this:

[Magnolia88]

I always thought I acted too feminine with guys and tried to be more masculine so I wouldn't be judged. Now that I know who I am, I embrace it. I would say just go with your natural feminine instincts and you should do great.

[xchristine]

Was going to write something

But than I realized I have nothing
Every man is differant...some have mushy wants..
Others just have wants :-P

Oh plus I'll he called s sexist..transexual misogynist
Or a hoe....hehehe

Let's just say I have had about enough fun for half a
Dozen respectabe girls....

[eli77]

I look much more like this:

Nothing like. Can't fool me. I know what you actually look like.


And why does everyone make this stuff sound so complex? Positioning is super simple. Inside = feminine gender role. Outside = masculine gender role.
If you spoon. You get to be little spoon.
If you hug, your arms go around his neck and his around your waist, or yours around his waist and his around your shoulders. So that either way, you are inside his hug.
When you lean into him, its on the inside of his shoulder. When he leans into you, its on the outside of your shoulder.
It extends to everything really. Accepted feminine norms say your knees stay close together, your elbows stay close to your sides. Accepted male norms are to spread out and take up as much space as possible. It's all down to body language that says you are vulnerable, that you want looking after.

Of course... some guys like masculine body language in their women. It tends to imply confidence, arrogance, even sexual permissiveness. Depends on the bloke.

Also. I am so glad I'm not straight. No offense. I just get bored easily.

[Horizon]

Nothing like. Can't fool me. I know what you actually look like.


And why does everyone make this stuff sound so complex? Positioning is super simple. Inside = feminine gender role. Outside = masculine gender role.
If you spoon. You get to be little spoon.
If you hug, your arms go around his neck and his around your waist, or yours around his waist and his around your shoulders. So that either way, you are inside his hug.
When you lean into him, its on the inside of his shoulder. When he leans into you, its on the outside of your shoulder.
It extends to everything really. Accepted feminine norms say your knees stay close together, your elbows stay close to your sides. Accepted male norms are to spread out and take up as much space as possible. It's all down to body language that says you are vulnerable, that you want looking after.

Of course... some guys like masculine body language in their women. It tends to imply confidence, arrogance, even sexual permissiveness. Depends on the bloke.

Also. I am so glad I'm not straight. No offense. I just get bored easily.

But if you play big spoon, you get to be a jetpack!

[Sammy]

But if you play big spoon, you get to be a jetpack!

[calico]

But if you play big spoon, you get to be a jetpack!

lol ,

advice? I would say this, - be yourself with him and things will come naturally, you can be silly, weird, whatever as long as you are you! , however I will note if you are pre-op you need to be extra careful, mainly because of safety

[Ltl89]

Just be yourself and be open and honest. That way you don't have to act in any certain prescribed manner. If you and a partner hit it off, it should be due to real, genuine, honest affection towards one another. Not due to having to act in a particular fashion to capture their interest, romantically or otherwise. Personally for me, transitioning was due in a large part, to the fact that I got tired of living a lie and having to act like someone I'm not. Or in some prescribed manner in which I was not comfortable.

Just be yourself.

I agree with this one hundred percent.  You shouldn't have to feel like you have to put on a persona for him.  Just be yourself and everything will come naturally.  You'll do fine.

[bullwinklle]

NekoKoNeko's advice on cuddling: channel your inner cat. Seriously. Have you ever seen a cat that wants attention and loving in action? They know what they want and exactly how to get it.

Physical contact. Touch. Rub. Nuzzle. I'm not necessarily talking the sexy-times goodies, just random parts. Hands to face. Face to chest. Lots of kitty cat kisses.

Be playful about it, if you're in the mood. A cat will swat at your hair, play with your ear, or maybe come investigate your fingers. Unless you have allergies or hate cats, you can't help but smile at this behavior. Hug your partner's arm. Play with their hair. Trace an imaginary line on their body with your finger. Find out where they are ticklish (and then attack! ).

Positioning. You could look up scores of cuddling positions on Google for inspiration, but again, the cat instinctively knows what to do. A cat walks right on top of you, makes itself comfortable, and you to adjust to it. Human cuddling can be like that except it's a mutual activity. You have to read your partner's placement and fit yourself into it, or ease yourself into position while letting them accommodate you. Let them cradle you like a baby. Put a pillow on their lap and plop your head down on it. Straddle their legs, sit on their lap and face them. Chest = giant pillow.

[Jamison]

When flirting and touching, you want to make sure you use the right gestures to imply the right meaning. Certain touches will make me think a girls into me, other touches let me know I could probably get laid tonight.

Flirty touches include: laughing at my jokes and touching my shoulder/arm, hand on my knee/leg (but too close too my junk and I think they want to mess around atm).

More intimate touches/cuddling include: head on shoulder, hand on chest (slowly rubbing is nice), caress of stomach if the dude has abs (but just watch how low you go).

I wouldn't advise to do any "patting," that's immediate friend zone status. I probably wouldn't touch the face either while kissing or cuddling- it's definitely more intimate in a loving kind of way and if done too soon might make the dude think you're more into them than you are. I'd keep the hand on the chest or on his neck. Since being on T, I still like being touched, but in very, very particular ways. Soft, caressing touches can be kind of annoying, same with soft kisses.

The best thing to do is to take cues from him. If a girl is doing something I don't like, but I want the physical attention, just in a different way, I tend to try to reposition myself a little like as if I were trying to find my groove in the couch. Or I just flinch a little bit. There's nothing wrong with asking if he likes something your doing, but always suggest, "but would you rather" option, because I hate feeling like an ass and just saying "please don't do that."

[FrancisAnn]

Don't be afraid to allow yourself to be smothered by him. I love the thought of his male scent being left on me. Being held against him closely always makes me feel feminine. Be gentle and "glidey" with your touches, especially with your fingers. It always helps to know that he's stronger than you too. Do things that test his strength a little, such as grabbing his arm, wrist, whatever and feeling how heavy it is or getting on top of him and trying to hold his arms down (wrestle with him a little) - but I wouldn't do that unless you know he's stronger than you are.

Honestly being with a guy makes me feel more feminine than anything else for so many reasons. It's one of the reason I'm so attracted to them

I agree being with a man is so feminine, pleasant & normal. Just enjoy being yourself/a woman totally & let your man be himself/a strong stud. The chemistry will come together soon.  However men kind of need to be shown that their advances are welcome. Maybe a light touch or a phone call that you miss him or cook a nice dinner & invite him over.  For myself & since I love to cook I would go all out for a candle light type dinner sometimes. It was fun preparing a very nice dinner & my man knew I cared for him & things normally went very well later in bed.

[xchristine]

In all honesty it happens naturally

It's innately programmed in us....and sometimes you meet a
Man that beings it out...it can never ever be drawn out with force

It is something that needs love affection commitment surrender ..

[Bookworm]

just relax. that is the key to all relationships

[Miranda Catherine]

When I was in relationships with women I was always accused of being the feminine part of the relationship, but now I'm just me. I'm madly in love with a good man I've been with for nine months and I'm finally me without worries or reservations. I'd transitioned for thirteen months before meeting and falling for him, finding I can finally be silly and fun, and let my feminine side, always the dominant part of me, come out and play for good. As a woman, I'm no longer worried about being too feminine or girly, because my body finally matches my soul. When we're at the movies or watching t.v. I love to lightly touch or tickle his arm, put my hand in his masculine hands, softly rub up against him, lay my head on his shoulder and tickle his inner thigh. Especially at night when it's cold, I love to wrap my arms around him, and feel his warmth and strength as he envelops me, still two inches taller than me even in 4" heels. I love to hold his hand, feel his arm around me when we're in public, and be totally his when we make love because he also gives himself to me. He loves it afterward too, when I tickle him softly with my nails and lay my head and long curly hair against his naked chest. And I love the feel of washing his back and playing with him in the shower. And like most girls it seems, I love being spooned. There's so much more to it, but like Alaina said, being with a man makes me feel more feminine than almost anything else and it's one more reason why I'm so attracted to them (him).

[FrancisAnn]

When I was in relationships with women I was always accused of being the feminine part of the relationship, but now I'm just me. I'm madly in love with a good man I've been with for nine months and I'm finally me without worries or reservations. I'd transitioned for thirteen months before meeting and falling for him, finding I can finally be silly and fun, and let my feminine side, always the dominant part of me, come out and play for good. As a woman, I'm no longer worried about being too feminine or girly, because my body finally matches my soul. When we're at the movies or watching t.v. I love to lightly touch or tickle his arm, put my hand in his masculine hands, softly rub up against him, lay my head on his shoulder and tickle his inner thigh. Especially at night when it's cold, I love to wrap my arms around him, and feel his warmth and strength as he envelops me, still two inches taller than me even in 4" heels. I love to hold his hand, feel his arm around me when we're in public, and be totally his when we make love because he also gives himself to me. He loves it afterward too, when I tickle him softly with my nails and lay my head and long curly hair against his naked chest. And I love the feel of washing his back and playing with him in the shower. And like most girls it seems, I love being spooned. There's so much more to it, but like Alaina said, being with a man makes me feel more feminine than almost anything else and it's one more reason why I'm so attracted to them (him).

Miranda, Such a nice pleasant story. Thank you for your time to post it.

[monarch]

There's so much more to it, but like Alaina said, being with a man makes me feel more feminine than almost anything else and it's one more reason why I'm so attracted to them (him).

Wow, Miranda, your relationship sounds amazing.  I had some thoughts on the above quote, but I won't go there as to avoid derailing this thread.

[Miranda Catherine]

There's so much more to it, but like Alaina said, being with a man makes me feel more feminine than almost anything else and it's one more reason why I'm so attracted to them (him).

Wow, Miranda, your relationship sounds amazing.  I had some thoughts on the above quote, but I won't go there as to avoid derailing this thread.

Truthfully Monarch and FrancisAnn, I don't see my honey enough for either of us, because he has his own business and works way more than either of us want, but he's owned this business for years before I met him and it wouldn't be right for me to pressure him too much to cut back on it. It's his career and a big part of his life and he loves it, but when it's practical for him to, he's brought it up that he will. Still, I know I'm a really lucky girl, because he's an honorable, good and decent man who loves me. He's also not into my present frontal plumbing, and I don't want him to be anyway! Monarch, as far as what attracts us to guys and/or makes us feel more feminine, thankfully, we have as many varied thoughts, feelings, ideas and ideals as cis women, as well we should, because we're women too. I know lots of women who love being women even more because they love men and appreciate them for their physical and emotional strength and how they make them feel sexually. I'm one of them. I'm definitely NOT into other women other than friendship, emotional support and they will understand me in ways men never could and I'm fine with that. Women just don't do it for me sexually. But....hugs, Mira                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

[Tessa James]

Yes this is fascinating and fun.  I have been intimately involved with men in my life but not previously acknowledged as a transgender person.  I fantasized I was the girl during intimacy and that helped me cope but now?   My gay male friends are clearly less interested.   Straight cis women also are ok with telling me I am less attractive to them and so far I have had only one online trans ->-bleeped-<- to deal with.  This is not unexpected but what I didn't expect was the different reactions straight men have to me.  I formerly found it comfortable to have strong eye contact with men.  Now I am much more careful about my eyes and expression sending that "come hither " look.  Men size me up and down and look for a response that means something...?  Some men who have known me as Jim interrupt conversation sooner and perhaps see me as less of a threat now?  I am currently monogamous and not dating so my post is more general about changed relationships overall.
The posts about being with a man and feeling so feminine do totally resonate with this Bi person, thank you!
And don't we all want to feel special to some one?  How do you help someone feel special?

[Bookworm]

But if you play big spoon, you get to be a jetpack!

Nice