"Hugs" in couple

[Samyra]

Hello everybody,

I'm a girl, in a man body. Up to now, I've only read a lot of posts about transitioning, but I'm not really sure to take the plunge of taking a treatment.

I'm with a girl who know my transgender identity.

My question is a little bit personnal, but now, I'm totally confused, and I pretty sure that your help will be very useful. During our intimity moment, I have great pleasure in doing "hugs" as if I were a girl, than a boy, contrary to my GF. I can explain why, as a boy, my pleasure is so small. 

What about you ? Am I strange ?

Thank you in advance.

[LordKAT]

No stranger that the rest of us.

Pleasure from what seems to be gender specific actions is sort of common.

[Samyra]

No stranger that the rest of us.

Pleasure from what seems to be gender specific actions is sort of common.

Really ?!
As for you, what is the importance of "hugs" in a couple ?

[Jamie D]

I love hugs.  And holding one another.

Oops, I missed the intimate part

[Bookworm]

I love hugs.  And holding one another.

Oops, I missed the intimate part

yeah I know the feels jamie d I like the hugs too. Not all that into fun with the bits. When I was in a relationship I did not mind helping her, or vise versa but I did not like it the normal way.

[Samyra]

yeah I know the feels jamie d I like the hugs too. Not all that into fun with the bits. When I was in a relationship I did not mind helping her, or vise versa but I did not like it the normal way.

How to deal with it ? How did you helping her ? Was she satisfied with this way ?
I'm asking myself a lot of question 

[Bookworm]

I liked using my hands, as well as her using her's. She did not know I was trans and that was fine with me. She knew that I was a little feminine, but that was fine. She did like my bits a good bit, but the traditional way of doing things did not do much for me.

We were at uni together, so when we had down time we often took naps together and that was nice. That was when we hugged and cuddled a lot.

[Samyra]

I liked using my hands, as well as her using her's. She did not know I was trans and that was fine with me. She knew that I was a little feminine, but that was fine. She did like my bits a good bit, but the traditional way of doing things did not do much for me.

We were at uni together, so when we had down time we often took naps together and that was nice. That was when we hugged and cuddled a lot.

With my GF, I like using my hands to. She seems to be happy, but, I don't think she's filled.
In my condition, I know it's really difficult to find a understanding GF. I afraid to lose her because of our "bed relationship". Of course, it's not the most important, but it's something influential in life's couple.

[Bookworm]

No it is not the most important, but it is something  to think about. Bedroom relations are a part of a long term relationship at some point. At the moment though it does not have to be the center of everything.

[Samyra]

Sometimes, I'd like to "fix me" to give her more pleasure, but I don't even know if it's possible. 

[Lo]

I enjoy kinky antics more than your more traditional intimacy, so I know where you're coming from.

If she has a problem with it, try getting a few toys that can give her that feeling of fullness.

[Beth Andrea]

I like hugs "as a woman." As a man, one actively hugs (strong, like a bear)...as a woman, one yields, giving themselves to be hugged.

Two women hugging will switch from strength to yielding to strength, so each share in the hug.

With intimacy, the penis is not (for me, anyway) important, but for pleasure the fingers are better, more accurate and more precise in pressure. "Sex toys" can be gotten for any degree of fullness one wants...just be sure to let her choose what she wants.

[Lo]

"Sex toys" can be gotten for any degree of fullness one wants...just be sure to let her choose what she wants.

Yes, definitely bring the topic up slowly if she's never used them. Maybe read some sensual stories about two women being intimate with each other, and share them with her if you enjoy them. It might help broaden her imagination when it comes to these things and give her ideas on other ways to be intimate with you. There are many clean and professional-looking websites that sell toys that you might be able to browse together. (The look of a hyper-sexed website might make it difficult for her to be into the idea if she's hesitant about it.)

[Samyra]

Sex toys could be a good solution.

I've try once to talk about it, but she's very traditional. I admit it's not an easy thing to say "Honey, I've my own toy, but I'd prefer to buy an other toy, and use it instead of mine"...

I think I'll have some difficulties to present my arguments... 

[Dreams2014]

Sex toys could be a good solution.

I've try once to talk about it, but she's very traditional. I admit it's not an easy thing to say "Honey, I've my own toy, but I'd prefer to buy an other toy, and use it instead of mine"...

I think I'll have some difficulties to present my arguments... 

I find it interesting that she is rather traditional yet willing to be with you knowing that you are transgender. Perhaps it is worth talking to her about it, and explaining that your needs are different?

[Samyra]

At first she thought I was half-girl, half-boy. Me too, actually.
Except now, I really don't know who I am. I'm not even sure I want my hugs are related to my dual nature.
At least she is patient. She made ​​a lot of effort. I don't want to hurt her.

I would like to keep making her happy, because I love her...

[Tessa James]

Love, hugs, intimacy and gender what a great mix.  I often hated the feeling that my male sexual libido ruled my world and featured so prominently in my relationships with people.  I really wanted the ability to turn it off with a switch so that I might more clearly understand my motivations and what animated relationships.  What is desire, attraction and love without the big testosterone drive?  How could someone be so indifferent to the same stimulus that could whip others into a sweaty frenzy of lust?  How important are those close quiet moments with hugs and cuddling?
It helps me that I am decades from that teenage level of drive when frequent unintended erections caused me to carry books to hide it.  Now in transition and, a few months into HRT that includes testosterone blocking medication, I am at peace.  Free from that urgent arousal it is wonderful to understand my continued need for an intimate relationship that features more hugs, kissing, touching and cuddling than the old tension and release.  The machine like penetration scenes depicted in some porno always left me cold and I found my penis was indeed a blunt object that i eventually thought of as someone's toy but not part of me.  I appreciate Beth Andrea's description of hugs and love to melt into the arms of a good hug from men or women.  We have an arms race that we can win by wrapping them around us.

For love and Hugs!
Tessa

 

[CallMeJess]

Hello everybody,

I'm a girl, in a man body. Up to now, I've only read a lot of posts about transitioning, but I'm not really sure to take the plunge of taking a treatment.

I kind of feel like the opposite of this in a way. I know that I'm very dissatisfied with being male and having a male body, but I really like "hugs" a lot. I'm not sure how frank I can be with my language, but yeah, I really like "hugging" in a male manner and a female manner and have enjoyed both. So I'm worried about the drop in sex drive if I were to start HRT since I like sex, and the stories I've read about it becoming painful worry me :/

Though I realize it's still a while for me before I would have to confront this for where I am in my transitioning journey.