Quote from: Just Shelly on January 30, 2014, 11:04:52 PM
First off I think your story is aspiring!!!!
But I do think some of what you show is glamifying transsexuals and trivializing something that really isn't a hobby or a life style but more something that is done in desperation to be happy with who we have always felt we were. You do tell this story but some f the pics tell another one.
The only reason I say this stems from what I seen in a few pics I seen in a earlier post. I noticed some ambiguous poses and I also noticed what looked like your penis showing in one. This is fine, you have the right to post whatever pics you want, but if we are to be taken seriusly and respected I don't think it can happen if some of what is seen could be classified as porn.
Please don't take my response to mean I think badly of you! This is not the case, in fact I would of loved to show your story to my children but after viewing much of it I thought better. I wish I wouldn't have!
I'm very glad you find my story inspiring, especially after seeing your interpretation of it.
It's not about anything that is degradable, meaning (anything materialistic or physical). I could truly care less, if right this minute, I passed or not.
It's about truly accepting yourself without this very skewed image of the stereotypical standard of "Beauty" that society fabricates for us and then sells to us. It's all in YOUR head.
I changed my TOTAL lifestyle around to match the way I felt I should as a Woman. Pass or not pass, I wanted to live past 40. I wanted to stop eating garbage.
I believe my mental state positively increased the more as I learned about my new way of life while NOT PASSING as a female. I didn't care. The Sona from day1 is equally as beautiful as Sona now.
I never thought I would pass. So I simply learned to pass for myself on the inside and love myself, and respect my new identity. That is far more important than passing hands down.
I wanted to reach new levels of understanding. Yoga opened my eyes.
Society mean nothing to me. This video could be deleted from every web site in the world right now because I know that I have reached out and truly connected with at least 2 people who needed. (That was the point of the video in the first place).
I find it hard to reflect my emotions and intentions through a internet video. I had to use some music, my words and images to explain my story in a timely manner that was compelling and vibrant enough to keep people from switching to something else.
My physical changes are just physical............. Hold on.... Let me say that one more time for you,
My physical changes are just physical. I could get hit by a bus 60 years or 60 mins from now. My body will start to decompose in 6 weeks, my implants with simply fall off, and all the physical changes that I have made in my short life would mean nothing at least to me.
What actually does mean something to me is that for 443 days of my 31 years on this planet were at least genuine. That's all that matters to me.
With me embracing and accepting my self with my eyes closed shut from this fake world, I had already won my own battle.
My eyes open up into the bathroom mirror and I see my temporary shell that will represent me until it dies off and becomes nothing.
As I look at my body, I (As Sona, not HIM, but me finally), I simply said that I love my self. I'm beautiful, but I still want to make some changes and not just to change my appearance but to be the woman I have always been.
I hope you're still paying attention to this, because it is going somewhere I think....
I started burning candles, and listening to classical music. I discovered that I love to paint and draw, and do yoga. I learned that I really didn't want to smoke cigarettes anymore, etc etc and so and so on.... So, my sipirit was happy for that. The lifestyle, the mountain biking, the diet and outlook, everything changed... everything inside, and I did it only for that, not my parents, my friends, just me,
not even the look in the mirror. Just my soul and spirit.......................
The drastic changes that happened inside my mind began to reflect on this temporary, physical, degradable, decomposable BODY.
It was all just icing my make own cake, a cake that I baked just for me, not society. Not you, not Katy Perry or Fashion magazine, but me.I felt the best parallel to showcase my internal/MENTAL transition, was to use the reflected bi-product of my physical transition, since, ya know, that is what everyone else seems so focused on around here.
Nose jobs, boob jobs, foot jobs, stomach jobs, hand jobs, heart and mind jobs, whatever you want to say..... None of it matters to me. If people thought I looked horrible, that's their mistake. My boobs, and or weight loss do not make my mind. My smile will be just as wide if I looked downward and saw them missing. They're nice to have, sure. Lots of women like their breasts. But they do not make me a woman. My mind does. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
Others can focus and simple, primitive things like boobies, finger nail polish, and long hair as a benchmark in their womanhood, not me. Only if I, and I only want those things.
I think porn is great. It's natural, it's ancient, it's exciting for many. I don't watch much of it, but I don't judge any one for what they choose for a career or the types of movies they watch, or the type of thoughts they may or may not have. I just don't care. lol
I don't care if people are perverted at times, it happens. People are so insecure with things that do not matter.
My penis means nothing to me... ABSOLUTELY nothing. I would prefer a Vagina, but again, does , me having my vagina make me more of a women now than I was pre-op? Umm NEGATRON my friend. It does NOT! To you or anyone else, sure, maybe, perhaps, I don't really care. lol
This is all just my own
thought that makes me ME. So I'm not wrong and you could be right....
I had a girlfriend who liked to wear bikinis at the beach....
I asked her why she liked to wear them thangs?
She said it made her feel more feminine and sexy, crap, at least she honest.
I have a bikini of my very own. Why? Because it has a funny print on it and it makes ME feel even more feminine than I already do. PERIOD
I have picture of me wearing it.
I had an idea of using it to compare my parallel reflection of my metal transition to the static photo of "Him" or Kimbo Slice before.
I mean, That's the whole idea, right?
??
Are you with me?
I didn't post that bikini picture because I wanted my friends (both current and past who never let go of "him"), to view it and NOT feel too uncomfortable.
Why, Women wear bikinis everyday. I see it on the front pages of magazines on the bathroom floor of my Mom's church... So what.. Is it porn to you? Maybe, sounds like it could. I don't care either. lol
I chose the last comparison pic because it was simple and physically revealing and I didn't feel the need to have my friends view me in a thong bikini just to show the physical change.
So, I picked that so perhaps as you say
"PORN" photo to use, my mom and I both thought it would be more appropriate, and I wanted to have my genitals region covered. I could have used a sports illustrated (swim suit edition) to cover it up, but I used my hands instead.
Sorry you interpreted the video it the way you did. I think if you actually knew me you wouldn't have a doubt. But you don't.
So yea. bottom line is...
If you think its porn... Then maybe to you it is. Maybe that's how you view it. I'm not sure where you're mind is wondering when you stop, and take moment to look at that image. If you think it is, than go for it. Here's a box of tissues! You'll be the very first person to bring that term or even the idea up after several hundred people I know personally seeing it. I have heard it's "revealing" though by one person.... I ask her if she meant my entire video or just the material flesh decomposing in it?
I hope this helps you. If not, oh well.
Thank you for the compliments to did give me!
I do appreciate it.
