(I am genderfluid rather than transsexual, but this seemed the appropriate place to put this topic, apologies if it's wrong and needs to be moved =) )
Yesterday morning I had a long discussion with one of my two friends that knew I'm identifying as fluid. She's been very supportive, and was trying to make it clear yesterday that she wants to understand and help, but she's confused and struggling to get her head around it. I expected that to be honest, I don't think it's an easy thing. She kept saying that she feels this is sudden and I've 'always been a girl' and now she doesn't know who I am or how to react and stuff. Which I think goes to show how much of myself I've been repressing around friends. =/
Her reaction was fresh in my mind as I went to my parents' house yesterday evening for dinner. I hadn't planned to come out but the topic naturally came up (maybe because it's so focused in my mind right now). My Dad was out in the garden, my brother playing the piano in the dining room and my mum and I sitting at the dining table chatting, and I decided that I might as well be honest with her. Her reaction was very much as I expected - 100% accepting and understanding. I asked her if she thought this was 'new' or abrupt and she said no. In fact before I mentioned Genderfluid and explained that, I started off by saying that I didn't feel female all of the time, and she said that she has often felt that Gender is more of a sliding scale with many varieties. God, I could have jumped up and hugged her right then, just for that. She hit the nail right on the head and in actual fact it meant that I didn't have much explaining to do at all.
My brother finished playing a song and turned around to join in the conversation. I didn't think he'd struggle with the idea as he has a trans-male friend and as expected he seemed pretty accepting. I asked him if he found it suprising or unexpected and he said no.
So finally, I had to go and talk to my Dad. He's the one that I'd worried about. My Dad is very liberal and accepting of most things, but I know that he struggles to get his head around trans* identities. A few years ago I dated a trans-guy and my Dad openly said to me that he struggled with the idea that my boyfriend was male when he looked physically so female. He often slipped on pronouns and I could see there was something about it that he found uncomfortable. Before I went to talk to Dad, I mentioned this to Mum and she said that she felt that Dad just wanted me to be happy.
I headed outside and had a rather more awkward conversation with him. (Starting with him asking me if I was coming out gay - obviously he'd caught a few words of my conversation with my mum! I told him I was bi and I thought he'd already known that, and he nodded.) While I was talking he pretty much stayed quiet and carried on working on his bike (occasionally asking me to pass him something lol), but I felt his reaction was pretty positive, even if it was how I expected it to be. He struggles with the idea of it, but he wants me to be happy. He voiced concerns that I would face discrimination and opposition. He also said that he thought facially I was very feminine and would struggle to pass as a guy so in effect would be opening myself up for abuse if I did. I understand where he's coming from - he's worried about me and wants me to be safe. He proposed quite a few questions and scenarios (as he put it 'playing devil's advocate'), not all of which I had answers to as I haven't got everything 100% figured out yet, and I was honest about that. In the end though, his stance was obvious - he accepts how I feel and whatever I decide, he just wants me to be careful and not rush into anything.
So all round it was a positive experience, none of my family seemed shocked or surprised and all of them very accepting. =D I think with my Dad especially, it will take a while to come around to things and I think from this point onwards it's probably best if I move slowly around him in particular, but I feel very relieved that I got it out in the open.
