It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

[Jenny07]

So anyone else feel sad on their birthdays?

I have always hated it as it reminds me of how long I have suffered dealing with these feelings and been truly unhappy.
Even when I was young I hated this date every year, not a normal thing for a child. Birthdays are meant to be the best day of our lives.
Often I would cry because of it 

Any way after shedding some more tears today I plan for this year to start hormones that I have been yearning for to change my body to what it should have been.

Perhaps next year today can finally be my first happy birthday.

Very sad
J

[stavraki]

Hello there Jenny,

Happy birthday..... *hands u a tissue* - ooo, I've had a few doozies of birthdays, and some Hoopla of Hoorah Shin Digs (Shin Dig is an Ozzie term for 'let's party').

Do a 'Take Two', I've done quite a few on my birthdays.....re-celebrate until I get the one I want...

What's ur favourite thing u love doing?

[kelly_aus]

Jenny is one of us, I'm sure she knows what a shin dig is.. 

I've not celebrated a birthday in a long, long time.. I hate them.. Well, I did.. I'm thinking of having a small celebration on the anniversary of the date I came out to myself. Maybe that will work as a new birthday for me..

[stavraki]

Jenny is one of us, I'm sure she knows what a shin dig is.. 

I've not celebrated a birthday in a long, long time.. I hate them.. Well, I did.. I'm thinking of having a small celebration on the anniversary of the date I came out to myself. Maybe that will work as a new birthday for me..

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.....

Nice to meet u Kelly I'm a Melbournian--man it's sooooo cold here tonight...

[kelly_aus]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.....

Nice to meet u Kelly I'm a Melbournian--man it's sooooo cold here tonight...

I grew up in Melbourne.. I remember how cold it can be - although I'm not convinced it's really any warmer here in Adelaide..

[Jenny07]

Stavraki

I loved to ride my bike as I used to be one of the very best in the world when I was younger.
I had a reputation as a strong man on the bike that used to drive me hard to push harder.

I missed my big chance when I got very sick, was given the night to live by the doctors, scary stuff.
My mates went on to the things I wanted. They won Olympic gold medals, Hawaii Ironman's and did the TdF. What could have been?

I just got myself a brand new bike and was looking forward to riding it this weekend but have been in bed sick since Thursday. Not happy....
Usually like to ride 100-120k a day on weekends.

Would have seen my ex partner as well, long and sad story there but I was too ill even for that.

Looks like another day in bed tomorrow.

J

[Jenny07]

I grew up in Melbourne.. I remember how cold it can be - although I'm not convinced it's really any warmer here in Adelaide..

Can't be as cold as Cooma!

-10 there now this time of year.

Now that's cold.

[stavraki]

okay - now I'm grinning - I hear ya - there's quite a few of us down-under-ians here, I've noticed (or maybe cause of time of day here when rest of world is asleep) - except a moderator or two I reckon   I actually really like Adelaide btw - many fond memories of visits as a kid, and had an activist GLBTI guy-friend-who did a stint in ur city....

better keep this on topic--let's leave Jenny with a BIRTHDAY SURPRISE when she gets back....hmmm, I know......I'll sing the "birthday song" in Greek

Hronia Polla, se sena
Hronia Polla, se sena
Hronia Polla agape Jennie
Hronia Polla se sena

there, that'll do it

[FrancisAnn]

Jenny, Happy birthday young girl. We all know your pain. Not sure if you bake at all however baking yourself a nice cake with candles & everything might be fun. Invite some friends if you can.

Take care & good luck.

[stavraki]

Can't be as cold as Cooma!

-10 there now this time of year.

Now that's cold.

woowah Cooma!  Of *bleep* yeah!  MINUS WHAT!

[SaveMeJeebus]

Again, Happy Birthday. I completely understand as i am always blue on my birthday, even when i do things, so it saddens me to hear you are. Hormones around the corner for you? Yippee! I hope your next birthday's more pleasant.

[Cindy]

My dear Jenny,

On your birthday may I wish you nothing but love. Hope for the future. The knowledge that your brothers and sister are with you. And the deep feeling that Aussies have for each other that no one can describe.

I love you and respect you.

OK that ->-bleeped-<-s has been done. Wake up bitch you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You are young gorgeous and beautiful. If you want to complain about you're leg, give it to an American.

They complain; we don't 

Any time any day any week of any year in any century in any universe.

You know my promise

I am Cindy, and you are my sister.

Happy Birthday Honey

Cindy

[stavraki]

My dear Jenny,

On your birthday may I wish you nothing but love. Hope for the future. The knowledge that your brothers and sister are with you. And the deep feeling that Aussies have for each other that no one can describe.

I love you and respect you.

OK that ->-bleeped-<-s has been done. Wake up bitch you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You are young gorgeous and beautiful. If you want to complain about you're leg, give it to an American.

They complain; we don't 

Any time any day any week of any year in any century in any universe.

You know my promise

I am Cindy, and you are my sister.

Happy Birthday Honey

Cindy

That brought a big grin to my face

[V M]

LOL... Even most of us Americans know what a shin dig is 

My birthdays tend to depress the hell out of me, I've gotten to where I usually just try to ignore them anymore... Besides, most folks forget it anyway and I'm tired and feel awkward to remind them

But oddly, even now in my 50's there is still a small child inside me that wants to scream "I'm here!!! I exist!!! Today is my day!!!" Sometimes I'll pipe up about it, but usually I just go on about like any other day

Anyway...

Happy Birthday Jenny!!!

Hugs

[stavraki]

Stavraki

I loved to ride my bike as I used to be one of the very best in the world when I was younger.
I had a reputation as a strong man on the bike that used to drive me hard to push harder.

I missed my big chance when I got very sick, was given the night to live by the doctors, scary stuff.
My mates went on to the things I wanted. They won Olympic gold medals, Hawaii Ironman's and did the TdF. What could have been?

I just got myself a brand new bike and was looking forward to riding it this weekend but have been in bed sick since Thursday. Not happy....
Usually like to ride 100-120k a day on weekends.

Would have seen my ex partner as well, long and sad story there but I was too ill even for that.

Looks like another day in bed tomorrow.

J

wooah!  Awesome - ur one v-fit human being!  Bring the party to u....get on the blower, and pull em in!  And make sure they don't remind u it's your birthday...  

PS - hope u get better soon

Cheers J
stav

[stavraki]

Would have seen my ex partner as well, long and sad story there but I was too ill even for that.

Jenny -- if u wanna tell the story, I wanna hear it.  If u don't I understand

As for me n my partner -- we broke up in January, this year.  When I was hospitalised, April, after being attacked, my mum rang him - thinking he'd be pretty upset if he didn't get told I nearly died, and all that.

He didn't even return her call.  Never came to mine--hasn't contacted me to find out if I'm better, has rung some of my friends to find out "is it true!  Did that happen!" but never bothered to see if I was okay.

I tell u what - that was the greatest grief in the whole event.  I have never felt so abandoned in my life....

But - I got over it - (or am) and found u guyz here and my loved ones and my relationships with my beautiful friends are strengthened.

About my ex - meh some human beings are just not equipped for selflessness.  Too hard for him.  No language for the kind of situation, and he walked.

Yes, I was very sad.  But I'm doin' okay

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Happy Birthday Dear Jenny,

[Jenny07]

Thanks everyone

Still fell nasty sick but its now B+1, so that's better.

Now I have to wait for my holidays to book some time for me.
Time to see a therapist and book some electro sessions.

I just find birthdays hard to deal with due to my feelings and living by myself.
My Aunt did cook me a box of her peanut butter choc chip cookies.

They even out do Janet's!

[Anna++]

Happy (belated) Birthday!  I look forward to reading a post about how birthdays are awesome this time next year

[Jenny07]

Thanks Anna

I plan this one to be the last unhappy one and for next years will be tears of joy instead.
I really want to start hormones now, not tomorrow but have been so busy with work I have not had time for the past 6 months even for myself. As soon as I get holidays the wheels will start to move with therapy and HRT as I did have a referral from last December.
Very exited with this as I have waited my whole life for this exact moment.

I am sure everyone here can relate to this innermost feeling.

I swear I will not hurt any penguins for you.