What made you unhappy today? v3.0

[Apples Mk.II]

Tomorrow is the Weekly support group, and I feel like a dog waiting for its dish to be filled. Which is a good indicator of how alone I feel...


At the same time I'm thinking that no person with a sane mind would want to leave in the same place I am, seeing how messy I am. Although maybe I am messy because I live alone and I don't expect anibody to see the place...

[Edge]

I had a bad dream.
I feel like I have too much to do in a short amount of time.
I feel like I'm running after people again. Is it too much to ask that the people who claim to be my friends say "hi" to me once in a while?
I'm still excited about having started T and want to talk about it, but I feel like I can't say anything because the people on here will either be upset because not everyone can start T or bored because it's all been said before and my friends don't have any interest in my transition.
There are other things I want to talk about that no one is interested in and, if they do, they'll just use it to hurt me and I won't be able to fight back. Again.
I don't belong and I am alone. I am still weak enough to let this bother me.

[Apples Mk.II]

Looking at all of my male clothing still mixed with the female. It's like a bad reminder that it would be so easy to break and detransition. I really want to destroy everything, and save only a few items to put in a safe box for a "bad emergency".

[Shantel]

Looking at all of my male clothing still mixed with the female. It's like a bad reminder that it would be so easy to break and detransition. I really want to destroy everything, and save only a few items to put in a safe box for a "bad emergency".

I remember the day when I pulled all the men's suits, sports jackets, belts, slacks, ties and most of the shirts and dress shoes and hauled them off to Goodwill, it was exhilaratingly liberating! I did retain a few hawaiian type summer shirts and traded men's regular cut jeans for skinny jeans rather than women's because I need the pocket space for keys and wallet. You probably need to purge out the men's stuff hon!

[Apples Mk.II]

I remember the day when I pulled all the men's suits, sports jackets, belts, slacks, ties and most of the shirts and dress shoes and hauled them off to Goodwill, it was exhilaratingly liberating! I did retain a few hawaiian type summer shirts and traded men's regular cut jeans for skinny jeans rather than women's because I need the pocket space for keys and wallet. You probably need to purge out the men's stuff hon!

I'm on it. There is also a lot of girl's stuff that it's either too small or too big, from the time I was buying on the net before learning my sizes. Now, If there was one of those clothes deposits close to where I live...



BTW, I feel like a forking disgrace in what comes to living alone. I've become a master at procrastinating, I leave clothes everywhere and barely can find things between the piles of  paperwork. I've waited to take care on the clothing that required handwashing until it was completely necessary. I try to tell me that If I wish for somebody to live with me some day, I need to change a lot of things with my way of living...

[Shantel]

BTW, I feel like a forking disgrace in what comes to living alone. I've become a master at procrastinating, I leave clothes everywhere and barely can find things between the piles of  paperwork. I've waited to take care on the clothing that required handwashing until it was completely necessary. I try to tell me that If I wish for somebody to live with me some day, I need to change a lot of things with my way of living...

Just a habit you can break by telling yourself that you have more respect for who you are becoming and then start treating your clothes as a reflection of that person rather than the former male slob that you are leaving behind.

[Lauren5]

BTW, I feel like a forking disgrace in what comes to living alone. I've become a master at procrastinating, I leave clothes everywhere and barely can find things between the piles of  paperwork. I've waited to take care on the clothing that required handwashing until it was completely necessary. I try to tell me that If I wish for somebody to live with me some day, I need to change a lot of things with my way of living...

Hon, I live with a roommate, and I have piles of clothes and papers everywhere. It was like that living at home too. It's not just you, although having someone to remind you would be nice.

[Shantel]

Hon, I live with a roommate, and I have piles of clothes and papers everywhere. It was like that living at home too. It's not just you, although having someone to remind you would be nice.

You just have to get used to using hangers rather than throwing them on the floor. Once you get the mess bulldozed up you'll enjoy your space all the more and may want to keep it neat and tidy.

[Shantel]

Gawd I already raised my own kids, wtf!

[Edge]

I am a freak. A subhuman freak that no one could ever like. A weakling that is so stupid, it feels loneliness even though that is f-ing WEAK. No one is there. No one will ever be there. Someone like me shouldn't want someone to be there.

[Sephirah]

Gawd I already raised my own kids, wtf!

And if they're anything like you, you should be very proud, hon.

[Shantel]

And if they're anything like you, you should be very proud, hon.

You're so sweet, but mistaken!  Virago here with short fuse for BS, so you kids shape up or else! 

[Apples Mk.II]

Just a habit you can break by telling yourself that you have more respect for who you are becoming and then start treating your clothes as a reflection of that person rather than the former male slob that you are leaving behind.

When I arrived here as male, I was a net freak. I suppose my mother's influence started fading. Depression doen't help a lot with moving faster.

Oh, and I don't want to talk about the "hard things". I really need to move the bed and retrieve al sort of things I can't get with a 40 cm ruler, But that means dismantling the three different elements it seems to be made of... And I don't want to even thing about installing that liquid cooling system for the computer that has been delayed for more than a year...

You just have to get used to using hangers rather than throwing them on the floor. Once you get the mess bulldozed up you'll enjoy your space all the more and may want to keep it neat and tidy.

I have clotheshanger in nearly every door handle. The cause is that I always ssay (I want the clothes to air a bit before putting them in the wardrobe), but then forget about them until I can't walk without stepping on something pointy



Seriously, Do you know that I even have a vibrator the previous owner left? I don't know to which recycling container even goes since it mixes ruber with electronic parts. And I don't plan on chopping a rubber dick, then I'd  start thinking about GRS again. It's kind of the closest thing I have to a roommate here. And I don't plan on talking to the styrofoam head where I hang the hair extension...


Well, At least I've managed to find a way for organising the hairpins, hair rubber bands and piercings without having to lose them...

[Danielle Emmalee]

I feel like crap.  I shouldn't have drank so much yesterday.

[MadeleineG]

I am a freak. A subhuman freak that no one could ever like. A weakling that is so stupid, it feels loneliness even though that is f-ing WEAK. No one is there. No one will ever be there. Someone like me shouldn't want someone to be there.

You're making me unhappy with your needless flagellation. You rock. Period.

[Lauren5]

More alterations and false accusations made by the guys next door. I think I'm really going to move out this week to somewhere better.

[Jasriella]

Finally done with my National Guard weekend. Yesterday I passed everything in my fitness test except for te run wich I missed by 9 seconds.......9 freaking seconds! Okay, fair enough until I find out that someone else missed it by a whole minute and his grader fudged his score so he could pass.

To add insult to injury, today we got weighed and body fat percentages taken because the standard changed. According to the Army now I'm fat..... So even if I did pass my fitness test it doesn't matter I'm red flagged from any promotions or benifits until I maintain the standard. I've never been overweight, never a large person, I'm 6'2" and 215lbs and I fit a size 35" waistline. But now I'm fat..... I drove home crying the whole hour......

[Shantel]

So even if I did pass my fitness test it doesn't matter I'm red flagged from any promotions or benifits until I maintain the standard. I've never been overweight, never a large person, I'm 6'2" and 215lbs and I fit a size 35" waistline. But now I'm fat..... I drove home crying the whole hour......

That sounds really bogus, how could you be fat beyond maybe a little spare tire?

[Shantel]

My baby brother said he was having an upper stomach ache, turns out he has liver cancer and 3/4 is shot according to biopsy plus a spot on his lung. He's starting chemotherapy and has a positive attitude though. I cried for him, dear God it isn't fair, it should have been me instead.

[King Malachite]

My baby brother said he was having an upper stomach ache, turns out he has liver cancer and 3/4 is shot according to biopsy plus a spot on his lung. He's starting chemotherapy and has a positive attitude though. I cried for him, dear God it isn't fair, it should have been me instead.

-Hugs-