Disliking myself because my voice isn't like it should be, but moreso because a friend apparently hates it when she can't hear me, and I feel like I'm going to make the situation worse if I explain why, or try to explain why and still end up not being heard - my voice almost cannot project, the only somewhat effective way is when it gets higher (which I'm highly uncomfortable with for a number of reasons), I'm still not good enough at projecting a deeper voice to be certain it won't sound off, and I tend to get quieter when I'm uncomfortable anyway. I almost hate speaking, but this was one of the biggest gripes this person had about me - that I wouldn't carry on a conversation in the past, and I'm somewhat scared that she'll take my difficulty in speaking (I'm fine over email, but... she tends to get angry easily) as a renewded reason to just dump me altogether. I honestly cannot believe I'm worth much to anyone, much less this person, though it seems I've become somewhat dependent on her acceptance to feel decent about myself half the time. I... really don't know how to step right with her, though I should by now. I'm afraid to make her angry at me.
*Sigh* Probably making mountains out of molehills, but the fear stays. I'm probably jinxing myself by writing this.
