Quote from: Kristal on November 30, 2013, 11:08:08 AM
I had a conversation with my mom the night before last about misgendering and using my preferred name. She did the usual "I've known you for so long" spiel. I asked her to at least try. I told her that I didn't care as long as she corrected herself afterwards. She said she would. I thought we had a nice moment.
The next morning I woke up and heard her recounting the conversation with my father and my brother E. E has been very good about gendering me correctly and getting my name right. And yet he was right there with them using male pronouns and my boyname. They were complaining about how I was being rude and mean for asking them to get my name right.
It's such a huge burden that cis people bear, having to respect other people. I mean, who could possibly remember a name and set of simple pronouns? It's unthinkable!
I'm not even nearly at that point and it astounds me how my family treats me. My parents defended my BIL to the end about his decision that I shouldn't see his kids again once I started transition (when? Who knows... I've already started
). Above all, my wife's family has been more supportive and welcoming of me, but they're also probably (and probably rightly, though that certainly depends) under the assumption they'll see much less of me once my wife and I are divorced.
The worst part is that they talk. Not to me, they're talking to each other and making group decisions based on bigotry and bullsh.
The worst people during transition have to be family... mine are at the same time supportive and backstabbing, pleasant and derisive.
This year... I give thanks that I'm me and I'm alive and well enough to be me. My therapist, when we were going over my HRT letter (which he's writing now), seemed to think it was a miracle I made it this far (that is... to 35 years old) without transitioning or worse.
