Hi there, I am Annika maybe
After silently reading in this forum for some months, I finally like to participate since I feel I have a lot to discuss.
While there were no clear signs for being transgender in my past, it really hit me like a hammer 16 months ago, at the age of 41 after a strange revelation in a dream. Before, I always thought that wanting to have a female body was merely sexual phantasy, something that would not affect other fields of my life. The strong urge toward transition came when the sexual component and the shame it produced suddenly diminished and I realized what might have been the cause for never fully identifying as male since being a child.
Although I am going to a therapist for 10 months, there are still so many open questions and doubts that makes it hard for me to trust my feelings and allowing myself to go for the next steps. I am still not sure whether this is a gigantic mistake, some sort of midlife crisis.
However, the main problems I am now confronted with are the same as for many others: Being married, having two children, 5 and 7 years old, as well as an increasingly uncertain job situation.
At Susan's I found an extremely helpful and supportive place - in contrast to other forums that I have visited (especially in the German speaking area
) - and I love to read posts from all over the world. A big compliment to all the staff, moderators, and admins at Susan's!
