Newly MtF Seeks Counseling

[Lost_In_TX]

Hello All,

This is my fist post and I would like to start by thanking you all for the wealth of information and positive contributions found on this website.

I'm a male in my mid thirties who is overwhelmed by thoughts of being trans. I just scheduled an appointment with a counselor for next week and I'm wondering if you all have any advice for screening criteria or any specific things I should look for in my first visit? I guess a little about my background is in order...

I first sought counseling a little over five years ago. I was quickly diagnosed with Bipolar II as I presented strong symptoms and I have a lot of mental illness on both sides of the family. I have come to terms with this and have been on meds for five years. It took me a while to find the right cocktail but I've been stable for a couple years now.

During my counseling I not only dealt with the Bipolar diagnosis but I came to terms with my sexuality as well, finally admitting to myself that I am attracted to men as well as women. I uncovered a lifetime of repressed thoughts and fears and it took a lot of hard work. Despite my efforts to discover the authentic me, I am still on that journey. You see, during that period I had not come to terms with my trans feelings and hid from them until a couple years ago. Part of the reason is due to my father...

When I came out to my mother as bi (she is my biggest ally and best friend) she mentioned something about my dad dressing part time as a woman. This didn't seem to go over particularly well with her. Shortly after this my dad came out to me as transgender and he started to step things up, dressing fully and going out in public in addition to attending a support group. My mother is still dealing with tremendous struggles surrounding my dad's new identity. Their relationship is strained to say the least. Due to this I haven't been able to discuss any of my feelings surrounding the matter with my mother and it's killing me.

As a result of this I made the counseling appointment. I realize I'm rambling here and I'm sorry for the long post. Just at a stage where I need to talk and get some help but my normal avenues for support have been closed off. Any suggestions other than sticking to counseling and perhaps seeking my father's advice (I'm pretty sure I'm going to do this very soon)?

Thanks in advance for any help you all can offer! :-)

[Jamie D]

Well, lost, we are pretty good listeners here.  Welcome to the site.

You already have a counselor?

[Lost_In_TX]

Thanks for the welcome Jamie!  And yes I found a counselor after reading some local TG resources online. This counselor happens to specialize in mood disorders and gender issues so my hopes are high. I've been through a LOT with counselors in the past but this will be the first time discussing my trans thoughts. I can call the b.s. when it comes to my mental health and sexuality issues but dealing with gender is new to me. If there's anything I need to look for in a good counselor (I realize not all fit in that category) please everyone speak up.

[Lost_In_TX]

To those who have PM'd me unfortunately I can't respond... Presumably due to a low post count. And to clarify I'm located in New Braunfels and the counselor I found is located in San Antonio. Feel free to keep in touch and I will reply when I'm able.

[Silvermist]

Hi, I live in Austin but go to school at Texas State, so I'm in San Marcos often. The reason why I PMed you is because I honestly don't have trans friends IRL (nor many friends in general), so I would be happy to meet with you sometime and offer my support as a fellow trans person. I imagine that there aren't many trans people in New Braunfels, considering how small it is.

[Jamie D]

To those who have PM'd me unfortunately I can't respond... Presumably due to a low post count. And to clarify I'm located in New Braunfels and the counselor I found is located in San Antonio. Feel free to keep in touch and I will reply when I'm able.

I l-o-v-e New Braunfels ... and Gruene too!

Yeah, you get more abilities after 15 posts.

One listing I use is "Find a Therapist" on Psychology Today.  You can search by area, then filter by those who advertise they have "transsexual" expertise.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?sid=1374175989.6895_22805&city=New+Braunfels&county=Comal&state=TX&spec=187&lmore=22

But if you are happy and comfortable with who you have now, I'd say run with it.

[Lost_In_TX]

Hi, I live in Austin but go to school at Texas State, so I'm in San Marcos often. The reason why I PMed you is because I honestly don't have trans friends IRL (nor many friends in general), so I would be happy to meet with you sometime and offer my support as a fellow trans person. I imagine that there aren't many trans people in New Braunfels, considering how small it is.

Thanks Silvermist...I'd like to take you up on that offer. And you're right, doubt I'll find much support locally in NB.  Once I reach the critical 15 post mark I'll PM you my email and perhaps we can grab a coffee or something when you're in SM?

[daisybelle]

To those who have PM'd me unfortunately I can't respond... Presumably due to a low post count. And to clarify I'm located in New Braunfels and the counselor I found is located in San Antonio. Feel free to keep in touch and I will reply when I'm able.

Lost - I am in Austin... maybe when I have some time down that way we can connect.

Silvermist - maybe we can connect sometime - that is if you don't mind a forty'er.

D

[Lost_In_TX]

I l-o-v-e New Braunfels ... and Gruene too!

Yeah, you get more abilities after 15 posts.

One listing I use is "Find a Therapist" on Psychology Today.  You can search by area, then filter by those who advertise they have "transsexual" expertise.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?sid=1374175989.6895_22805&city=New+Braunfels&county=Comal&state=TX&spec=187&lmore=22

But if you are happy and comfortable with who you have now, I'd say run with it.

I've only been in town a few months but I really love it here also. I went to SWT (shows my age) during the name change and I've longed to move back since I left many years ago.

As for the counselor I found this one through the San Antonio Gender Alliance. I spoke with him on the phone and things went well. I'll give him a shot and see how things pan out. The link is much appreciated, however! :-)

[Lost_In_TX]

Lost - I am in Austin... maybe when I have some time down that way we can connect.

Silvermist - maybe we can connect sometime - that is if you don't mind a forty'er.

D

That sounds wonderful to me! I'm actually trying to get my sailboat moved to Lake Travis. If that happens I'll be in NW Austin quite frequently. Either way let's try to connect in Austin or when you're down south. :-)

[Jamie D]

It sounds like we've got a Texas-style get-together a-cookin'

I know we have a bunch more Texans on the boards.

[Lost_In_TX]

It sounds like we've got a Texas-style get-together a-cookin'

I know we have a bunch more Texans on the boards.

Let's make it happen! 

[Erin Brianne]

I've been on all types of boats but never a sailboat.  I'm about 4 hours to the east of you near Beaumont and just getting started in my transition, so meeting someone could be very beneficial.

[Lost_In_TX]

I've been on all types of boats but never a sailboat.  I'm about 4 hours to the east of you near Beaumont and just getting started in my transition, so meeting someone could be very beneficial.

Sailing is a blast! If you're ever in the area we should hit the lake. :-) It's not too bad of a drive...Just moved from north Houston myself.
I

[SamiT]

L.I.T.

I am from the San Antonio area. When I started looking for a Gender therapist after working the rounds of shrinks in SA I went to Houston. Found an EXCELENT resource for both therapy and an Endo. If you don't have a car or budget is limited Houston is a tough one but I Can tell you this the resources in Houston are much more plentiful and have a great deal more experience. Its definitely worth going over even if its only every 3 months.

The boards are great to help fill in for those of us in outer lying areas but I have found a face to face support group is one of the best things you can find. San Antonio has a Small Group with a HUGE heart. Saga meets twice a month and is in a north San Antonio location, So 30Min from NB..

Sami

[daisybelle]

Found this link for a doctor in Austin---
https://transtexas.org/index.php/component/kunena/11-health-care-providers/4597-hormone-therapy-and-doctor-care?Itemid=0

https://transtexas.org/index.php/component/kunena/11-health-care-providers/4597-hormone-therapy-and-doctor-care?limit=6&Itemid=0&start=18#4674

[Lost_In_TX]

L.I.T.

I am from the San Antonio area. When I started looking for a Gender therapist after working the rounds of shrinks in SA I went to Houston. Found an EXCELENT resource for both therapy and an Endo. If you don't have a car or budget is limited Houston is a tough one but I Can tell you this the resources in Houston are much more plentiful and have a great deal more experience. Its definitely worth going over even if its only every 3 months.

The boards are great to help fill in for those of us in outer lying areas but I have found a face to face support group is one of the best things you can find. San Antonio has a Small Group with a HUGE heart. Saga meets twice a month and is in a north San Antonio location, So 30Min from NB..

Sami

Thanks for the input Sami as traveling to Houston is something I've considered. My family has migrated here over the past couple years and my dad mentioned how much stronger the trans community was in Houston compared to what he's seen in Austin and SA. I'm looking forward to my first counseling session in SA this week and I'd like to attend the next SAGA event as well. Hope to meet you there! :-)

[Lost_In_TX]

Found this link for a doctor in Austin---
https://transtexas.org/index.php/component/kunena/11-health-care-providers/4597-hormone-therapy-and-doctor-care?Itemid=0

https://transtexas.org/index.php/component/kunena/11-health-care-providers/4597-hormone-therapy-and-doctor-care?limit=6&Itemid=0&start=18#4674

Thank you DaisyBelle...this is a great resource! :-)

[Lost_In_TX]

I wanted to give a huge collective "Thank You!" to all who have reached out to me both here and privately. I found this website a couple years ago when I was digging around on the net but I quickly suppressed my thoughts (again) and went back into denial. I forced myself to post a thread this time hoping it would keep me around. The response so far has been amazing. What a terrific group you are to offer your support and love to a stranger. Thanks again and I hope to meet some of you locals in the very near future.

Chris

[Jamie D]

We are family, Chris.  Someday, there is going to be another person like you, hesitant to come onto the boards, worried about the gender issues, and you will be there to lend a helping hand.