Had a slightly disturbing dream last night.

[Dreams2014]

I have only recently accepted that I am transgender, so naturally I have mixed feelings on the matter.

I had a dream last night that I had undergone SRS, except the problem is it was botched, and it was a disaster. Anyway as I was walking down the street people would stare at me and laugh at me, and for some reason my pants would keep falling down (weird I know). Anyway I confronted one group, smacked one of the girls in the face, said group apologized.

Dream ended with my walking up a steep hill to what I think was a train station. I haven't looked into deciphering dreams too much but I can take a guess the dream means I have fears, there is a steep hill to get up yet, and the train station symbolizes that I must decide my next destination.

Anybody else have these cryptic dreams?

[Jamie D]

What dreams aren't cryptic?

But given the specifics of your dream, the first thing I would do is buy a belt. 

[Dreams2014]

What dreams aren't cryptic?

But given the specifics of your dream, the first thing I would do is buy a belt. 

We've got a genius here! lol

I was thinking the pants falling down may symbolize my fear of being exposed, like being an open book for all to see. As away from here I am a very private person, and the thought of people seeing me without all the covers can really scare me.

[LordKAT]

I think your brain is simply telling you that you have some fears and perhaps doubts to work through.

[sam79]

We've got a genius here! lol

I was thinking the pants falling down may symbolize my fear of being exposed, like being an open book for all to see. As away from here I am a very private person, and the thought of people seeing me without all the covers can really scare me.

I'm getting into that between-part of transition where you're not quite one or the other. A year ago, I was terrified at being in the place I am now. Terrified of the stares, ridicule, comments etc.

Now that I'm here, I don't hide away from the world. I still go to work, go shopping, and still go for coffee. It's just a fact that anyone in this position is going to be noticed. But, even with my odd appearance, not one person yet has said or done anything to me, or anyone else from what I can tell. I do get plenty of stares though, to be expected until I get to the other end I think.

So in terms of the fear, yes, it is still kinda scary. But you won't give it a second thought when and if you get to that point. There are so many more important things to worry about .

[stavraki]

I have only recently accepted that I am transgender, so naturally I have mixed feelings on the matter.

I had a dream last night that I had undergone SRS, except the problem is it was botched, and it was a disaster. Anyway as I was walking down the street people would stare at me and laugh at me, and for some reason my pants would keep falling down (weird I know). Anyway I confronted one group, smacked one of the girls in the face, said group apologized.

Dream ended with my walking up a steep hill to what I think was a train station. I haven't looked into deciphering dreams too much but I can take a guess the dream means I have fears, there is a steep hill to get up yet, and the train station symbolizes that I must decide my next destination.

Anybody else have these cryptic dreams?

I dunno, sounds to me like you've pegged the message in the dream to me: fear of persecution, shame in public exposure, and -- best bit -- you go girl and slap that transphobe!  Awesome

[cheeky]next time ur teased, take ur clothes off and slap the twat who teased u--and if it's a he, smear some lippy on his lips[/cheeky]

[Tristan]

I think your dreams are normal. Like others have said its most likely just trepidation of surgeries and things of the like. I had the same kind of thoughts the day before my srs

[Theo]

If I may suggest: write dreams like those down, as they can be very good discussion points during sessions with your therapist.

Dreams basically build upon your thoughts and experiences. Anxiety at the beginning of a journey of this scope is perfectly normal, and hence will be reflected in your dreams, so don't worry about it too much.

[Sephirah]

I have only recently accepted that I am transgender, so naturally I have mixed feelings on the matter.

I had a dream last night that I had undergone SRS, except the problem is it was botched, and it was a disaster. Anyway as I was walking down the street people would stare at me and laugh at me, and for some reason my pants would keep falling down (weird I know). Anyway I confronted one group, smacked one of the girls in the face, said group apologized.

Dream ended with my walking up a steep hill to what I think was a train station. I haven't looked into deciphering dreams too much but I can take a guess the dream means I have fears, there is a steep hill to get up yet, and the train station symbolizes that I must decide my next destination.

Anybody else have these cryptic dreams?

Just to throw in a different take on it.

Perhaps it doesn't mean you have fears about it. Perhaps it's symbolic about your recent acceptance of being transgender, and is sort of a residual mental argument between the different parts of yourself. As you say, mixed feelings. The botched SRS could be some part of yourself which believed, or believes that transition won't be enough for you, and no matter what you do, it won't give you the results you want. The people staring and laughing could be a manifestation of the remnants of yourself that have doubts. The pants falling down, rather than a fear of exposure, could be a symbol of your ability to remain in a male role just won't "stay up". It keeps slipping, no matter what you do, and revealing your true self. The confrontation could be a symbol of the decisive part of yourself, which has accepted who you are, and is determined to be that person, no matter what.

The hill and the train station could mean you expended a lot of effort (mentally) to arrive at a place whereby you knew you would have to go on a journey. Maybe one of self discovery.

That's the funny thing about dreams, the subconscious just throws lots of imagery at us and is all like "okay, you sort it out!"

Go with what feels right to you.

[Cindy]

Dreams are odd.

I still (as my ever patient fellow staff members know) have screaming nightmares that wake me..

But peaceful dreams have come to me after going on HRT.

I think your dream is very much an acceptance type of dream.

[kariann330]

I have only recently accepted that I am transgender, so naturally I have mixed feelings on the matter.

I had a dream last night that I had undergone SRS, except the problem is it was botched, and it was a disaster. Anyway as I was walking down the street people would stare at me and laugh at me, and for some reason my pants would keep falling down (weird I know). Anyway I confronted one group, smacked one of the girls in the face, said group apologized.

Dream ended with my walking up a steep hill to what I think was a train station. I haven't looked into deciphering dreams too much but I can take a guess the dream means I have fears, there is a steep hill to get up yet, and the train station symbolizes that I must decide my next destination.

Anybody else have these cryptic dreams?

I agree with your thoughts on the dream, and while i don't have cryptic dreams, i have way worse.....dreams so real it's like im still awake.

[Sandy]

Dreams are odd.

I still (as my ever patient fellow staff members know) have screaming nightmares that wake me..

But peaceful dreams have come to me after going on HRT.

I think your dream is very much an acceptance type of dream.

Interesting.  I too had regular screaming nightmares throughout my life pre-transition.

Since then I have had only two in the last six years.  Both involved my penis growing back.  That tell you something?

To the OP:
To me it sounds like you have fears of transition but not intention.  Meaning that you accept your inner gender, but fear the many changes it will bring about.  You may fear things like bullying (being laughed at), exposing your secret (pants falling down), and the ability to pass (botched surgery).  The hill and the train station seem to represent the effort involved to achieve your goals.

-Sandy

[Northern Jane]

The worst dream I ever had wasn't the least bit cryptic! It was plain terrifying!!

About a year after transition and SRS (prior to which I was suicidal!) I awoke to find that transition, SRS, and my new life had only been a dream. I woke up screaming and in a cold sweat. But the "waking up" was itself just a dream. It took hours to stop shaking and realize everything was okay.

[Jamie D]

We've got a genius here! lol

I was thinking the pants falling down may symbolize my fear of being exposed, like being an open book for all to see. As away from here I am a very private person, and the thought of people seeing me without all the covers can really scare me.

Oh gosh, I get really disturbed by naked dreams.