A little courtesy goes a long way

[bethany]

As many of you know I am looking to move out of the nursing home I live and and get back into the community. This morning I was talking to a woman who is going to help me find a place and the help that I need. Anyway she called at a time I was unable to get to my phone. I had changed my voice mail to reflect the name that I wish to be called. Of course this confused her. When I returned the call I told her that I was trans and she went on to ask me if I did in fact wished to be called Bethany; we all know the answer to that by now. So she put a not in my folder about this and so if anyone elce from where she works will know to call me Bethany. I went on to thank her for this. Her reply was it's just respectful of your wishes no need to thank me.

Now why can't the nursing home be the same way? 

[Joanna Dark]

Why won't the nursing home call you Bethany?

[bethany]

Why won't the nursing home call you Bethany?

Thats what I would like to know. Every time I bring this up I get this. "There are some people here that are uncomfortable with your transition and we need everybody on board. Once you have your name changed then we have no choice in the matter. but for now this is how it's going to be"

I filed the papers already to have my name changed so that process has started.

[Beth Andrea]

Before I legally changed my name, I "informally" asked the places I routinely associated to call me by "my" name (Beth)...all of them did, without questions to justify it...although it was pretty obvious I was quite...glittery, shall we say?

Yeah, it's nice when professionals and non-professionals alike treat one with respect.

Bethany, is there an ombudsman you could call for help with the name issue? It *is*, after all, a question of respect, and I'm sure the home has a list of customer rights--one of which is usually "the patient has a right to be treated with respect."

[bethany]

Beth I did talk to the ombudsman months ago. She is in total agreement with me on this and has argued upon my behalf with no results. On Monday there will be some things said to the administrator when she comes back from vacation. (here's a laugh for you she is my cousin. Her grandmother and my dad are brother and sister LOL)

About a month and a half ago I walked with her to her car just to talk as cousins; not resident and staff. and even then she would not call me Bethany. Told me she can't.  I think it more like won't then can't.

[Beth Andrea]

Next time she says she can't, call her on it.

"You mean you won't."

...Because she physically *could* say it, after all it's just 7 letters, and easily pronounced...but it is her MIND that prevents her, and therefore = won't. She is choosing to disrespect you.

Well...you're about to get out of there, yes? In the military, we called that "being short." As in, having only a short time left.

SHORT!!! 

[bethany]

Oh I plan on calling her on it. And yes I am hopefully out of here soon but who knows how that will go but thats the plan. I have a woman coming here on Monday afternoon to talk about my housing options. Can't wait.