I have to say, sometimes the best defense is not to hide behind a law, a legal code or expect compassion or understanding.
Sometimes the best option is to steal the initiative, and then move on, leave the situation behind and not let it further influence you.
Just let them eat your dust and move on.
I have not yet felt a need to use a woman's rest room, but, some day I hope I look well enough I will look more wrong in the men's room than the ladies room. But hey I can't see myself being soooo lucky I look totally correct to everyone. Subtle tells are a pain to eliminate.
But one thing I don't wish to do, is surrender to persons wishing to be confrontational.
I play a lot of wargames, games that are all about strategic thinking. Complex thought patterns of how to defeat a situation from many different angles.
I am used to pondering 'how would I deal with....?'.
I think if asked by an indignant female 'what the heck was I doing in the ladies rest room?' I would prefer to respond with 'my husband gets annoyed when I sneak into the men's room to look at men peeing'. It takes the initiative, makes the woman confused, you just mentioned your husband, something normally only a woman would have and you misdirect her belief you are a man. Don't defend your use of the ladies room, make it idiotic to not use the ladies rest room.
It's never going to be an easy flat effortless road being transgender unless fate made your form easy to alter in appearance. It sure didn't make mine a simple project. Male pattern baldness means wearing wigs or else. No breasts means faking them. Seated posture is not easy to remove after a life time. So you basically need to have it in your head, you will need to periodically be ready to take the initiative away from the negative. You won't always pass, and you won't always meet people that are innately and understanding. Some will call you by your preferred manner of address as they just know that is the proper manner to employ. And some people will just be nasty.
I am always ready and willing to extend my appreciation to those that earn it.
I am also always ready to steal the moment back from someone trying to be mean to me.
I have a quick wit, and I can either use it to make you laugh, or to see to it you sharp pointy end.
I will NOT be someone's victim.
I am not an easy target.
I am fortunate MY life is not job vulnerable, not complicated by dependent children any longer. But I still need to be able to go out among people like the rest of us eventually. I have to buy groceries, and pay bills. I spend time in stores looking for things. Just walking down the street can be a task.
You simply can't walk through life and not be ready to defend yourself.
