a Man...

[JillSter]

I know the feeling. Every time a see a cute girl my first impulse is jealousy. It really interferes with those days when I'm trying to embrace my man-ness. 

[Heather]

It's a little worrisome for me because I'm a little distrustful of men, and frankly a lot of them kinda scare me. I really don't want to find myself attracted to them.

I guess I won't know until I know.

LOL

Yes they are men you should be distrustful of. But there are some women I would say the very same thing about. Really it comes down to the person and how good are you at telling the good from the bad. The thing with men is a lot of them like to pretend their all big and bad but most of them can be very sweet and caring once they drop that front. 

[Pia Bianca]

but most of them can be very sweet and caring once they drop that front. 

And some of them are even more like you than you might think... *cough*trans*cough*

[Heather]

And some of them are even more like you than you might think... *cough*trans*cough*

A man can be sweet and caring without being trans or gay that's just a stereotype. 

[Pia Bianca]

A man can be sweet and caring without being trans or gay that's just a stereotype. 

I didn't say that. But I assume that it's the way 'round. A trans women pretending to be a man is sweet and caring most of the time if not always. And since there might be more man like me which didn't allow themselves to realize their state...

[Heather]

I didn't say that. But I assume that it's the way 'round. A trans women pretending to be a man is sweet and caring most of the time if not always. And since there might be more man like me which didn't allow themselves to realize their state...

I actually built my male persona to be the opposite of sweet and caring. I didn't want anybody to see the real me.   

[JillSter]

I actually built my male persona to be the opposite of sweet and caring. I didn't want anybody to see the real me. 

I did the same thing when I was younger. But I wasn't very good at it. I was never hard and I knew it. But everyone was convinced because I looked tough.

[Sammy]

I did the same thing when I was younger. But I wasn't very good at it. I was never hard and I knew it. But everyone was convinced because I looked tough.

Exactly! If we pretend good enough then it becomes convincing. I found it very amusing when I learned out that in my twenties I had a reputation of a guy not to be messed with ...  It really helped in terms of protection
Yet, it went in a package with me being a bit ,,soft guy" – kind of peacemaker who is on good terms with everyone. Very kind hearted guy and would never refuse to help out – just dont push him and behave yourself, because then he will kick your butt.
Btw, I never had to kick any butts to prove I was able to . It was good, because although I was able to, yet I always hated hurting other people physically.

[big kim]

I actually built my male persona to be the opposite of sweet and caring. I didn't want anybody to see the real me. 

Me to I had a  reputation as a bad ass not to get on the wrong side of

[JillSter]

yet I always hated hurting other people physically.

Me too. I hated fighting. People would crowd around like animals salivating over the kill, and I'd get physically sick. I just can't do the violence thing. It's just not in me.

[big kim]

Me too. I hated fighting. People would crowd around like animals salivating over the kill, and I'd get physically sick. I just can't do the violence thing. It's just not in me.

I disliked fighting though I was pretty good at it,fortunately I lacked the mean streak as I was a big kid

[BeefxCake]

^^^^^

what's funny to me, is (as a girl right now) whenever my friends and i get rough.  they'll keep me out of the rowdiness, with the whole, i would never hit a girl thing. it bugs the crap out me, i see em having fun being stupid guys and i want in on that, regardless if it's smart to or if ill get hurt.

i only have one friend that treats me like a guy. and i like him to. we greet eachother like a couple of a$$holes and that's just our humor. i hit him ont he back, he hits back and we laugh it off. it's great i love it and wsh i had more friends like him.

not saying i like abuse or anything wierd like that but i like being on the same playing field ya know? none of that, because you're a girl bs..

[Sammy]

we greet eachother like a couple of a$$holes and that's just our humor. i hit him ont he back, he hits back and we laugh it off.

Ah, yeah, that guy bs
No offence meant

[Heather]

Me to I had a  reputation as a bad ass not to get on the wrong side of

Now I would in no way ever define my act as a bad a**. Since I was big and athletic I kind of modeled myself after someone who was athletic. As crazy as it may sound modeled most of my attitude after John Elway One of the things that always struck me about him was not only did he go out there and win. He would also carry himself like he just went out there and won. Even when he lost to so in other words he came off as cocky!
So when I realized I needed to develop a male act I patterned him to be cocky and brash and someone who was kind of arrogant. And you know what's crazy it kind of worked. I actually wish I had figured that out when I was younger maybe I wouldn't have been picked on so much in school.

[monarch]

Funny, I have yet to lose my masculine persona, and I started transition years ago.

[Heather]

Funny, I have yet to lose my masculine persona, and I started transition years ago.

I kinda lost him some time back. I reported him missing but last weekend I had him declared deceased.  Time to move on. 

[Beth Andrea]

Funny, I have yet to lose my masculine persona, and I started transition years ago.

I can still pose and talk like a man...or at least, what passed as manly pre-transition. It always leaves me shaking and worried that I might've hurt someone if things escalated...I have a lot of unresolved (and undiscovered) anger somewhere inside me.

[monarch]

I kinda lost him some time back. I reported him missing but last weekend I had him declared deceased.  Time to move on. 

lol

I can still pose and talk like a man...or at least, what passed as manly pre-transition. It always leaves me shaking and worried that I might've hurt someone if things escalated...I have a lot of unresolved (and undiscovered) anger somewhere inside me.

I would not have suspected this at all.  You always strike me as funny and warm on this site, and I am kinda fond of you.  Anyway, I really hope you can work through these issues.

[Beth Andrea]

Thanks Monarch...that's very sweet of you.

*hugs*

[monarch]

Odd but I have the opposite problem Beth, I worry about doing damage in girl mode, although not physical damage per se.  My male presentation has always been a sort of big huggy bear that no one wants to mess with.  Getting in touch with my real self and starting Estrogen has brought me to some sudden and quite unusual emotional outbursts.  A few days ago, my downstairs neighbor came up to complain about my cat, but she started out the "conversation" by swearing at me.  My old male side would have shrugged it off but the new me took offense and I lit into her with a verbal barrage.  She is attempting to get a protection order (she's one of "those" ex-wives) but she's not having much luck because the incident happened on my doorstep with her as the aggressor.

Yeah, I have noticed that I stand up more for myself since hrt, but sometimes I can be real snarky with people.  There are times when I really need to dial that back.  Before hrt, I could be upset at a situation and no one would be the wiser.