The only time I like being physically male

[Dreams2014]

Is when It involves sex. But then It's odd because I think about having sex as a woman, and that turns me on. But then I get turned on as a physical male and then I wonder what it would be like to not have the libido or the genitalia if I went through a transition. I find it a little scary. But I feel so vulnerable having male genitalia, it's odd.

It's really confusing. But when all is said and done and the libido takes a rest, I just think about how much I want to be female again.

Anybody else get this kind of conflict?

[Cindy]

Well remember sex and gender are different.

I remember so well the first time my boyfriend and I explored. I was so nervous - I'm a Guy - I don't have sex with Guys!!! (apologies not insulting just stating the moment).

I melted and ................

Ye don't worry about it, biology has ways of dealing with it all, just relax and enjoy and let the body take over.

And have pity on the guy, - that was nice lets do it again- seemed to interrupt his sleep pattern.



Cindy

[Jess42]

The act of sex is strange and mysterious in itself but in a very good way. We can't control what turns us on pretty much the same way as we can't control being trans or gay.

"Ye don't worry about it, biology has ways of dealing with it all, just relax and enjoy and let the body take over" I think Cindy's got it right though, just roll with it and have fun.

[kathyk]

As Jess and Cindy said, absolutely don't worry about it.  What you're thinking has gone through the minds of many of us also.  And much like you, in the old days I always fantasized about being the woman during sex.

Things change during transition.  Wow do they change, but I won't even try to explain it. 

Again, don't worry.
Kathy

[suzifrommd]

I'd say the only thing that I even slightly miss about being a man is the ability to penetrate women and give them pleasure. I never really cared about the sensations for me, but feeling a woman arch with pleasure was always something that I relished.

[Dreams2014]

Dreams 2014, HRT is reversible up to about 1 year.  If your HRT were to include Spironolactone, or other similar Androgen blocker, that effect is quite likely very close to no longer having male responses.  Frankly, it's a mixed blessing to me.  I've never liked testicles, mostly because they suck as a body part, so freaking precious and yet so sensitive.  Taking Spiro has greatly reduced the importance of my male parts, and it's nice to have that much relief from them.  My libido is also in the mud, but my sex drive continues out of habit.  Libido is not necessary to have orgasms, it only helps the process to proceed.

I'm on the "try before you buy" plan, just HRT for me, no permanent physical changes until I see how HRT goes for a while.  Currently, I have to say that transitioning is in the lead for me.  I have a lot of concern with doing major, permanent revisions to my male parts, but I am very, very much liking having my brain running on girl juice.  Remember tha tSRS isn't mandatory, there are many transwomen who hold off at doing some or all of the usuall surgery.

I'm not actually on HRT. I'm just a person with strong MtF feelings. So what I meant by what I said was I barely feel comfortable as a male, except for rare moments.

[JillSter]

Dreams2014,

We're kinda the opposite actually. When I get horny I get very frustrated with my body. My libido only reinforces the disconnect.

Honestly, I do enjoy the sensation of being inside a vagina but I can't say I'd miss it all that much. (I haven't started HRT either.) I get anxiety whenever my genitals are involved. Sex would be more enjoyable if I didn't have this damn thing.

But everyone is different.

I think of gender identity like this: Your identity is not one entity, but rather made up of many parts. Your gender may differ from part to part. In some areas you may be more masculine, while in other areas your femininity may be dominant. These opposing gender identities manifest in our lives in different situations where different parts of our identities come forth and play a central role in how we interact with people, problems, the world, etc. This is why I think some transpeople experience feeling "male" in some situations and "female" in others. Some people would identify as being completely male or female, while others might consider themselves about 50/50. Then there are people like you and me who are predominantly feminine but have masculine aspects to our personalities, which in my case has made me able to present as male all my life with little difficulty. Unfortunately in my case sex is not one of my masculine areas; I have very little male instinct to penetrate. It's very possible that you are predominantly feminine except where related to sex.

I have no idea if any of this is true or not. It's just the way I try to make sense of myself.

[CallMeJess]

Is when It involves sex. But then It's odd because I think about having sex as a woman, and that turns me on. But then I get turned on as a physical male and then I wonder what it would be like to not have the libido or the genitalia if I went through a transition. I find it a little scary. But I feel so vulnerable having male genitalia, it's odd.

It's really confusing. But when all is said and done and the libido takes a rest, I just think about how much I want to be female again.

Anybody else get this kind of conflict?

As someone else who has not started HRT at all, yes to pretty much everything you just said. My best sexual experiences involved crossdressing because I get really turned on by the thought of having sex as a woman and playing it out. But, like you said "I get turned on as a physical male" and I enjoy my male genitalia in those moments. However, the random boners and the male genitalia when I'm not having sex/masturbating just drives me crazy sometimes! Also, I do find possibly losing my libido if I were to transition to be a little scary as well.

[Dreams2014]

As someone else who has not started HRT at all, yes to pretty much everything you just said. My best sexual experiences involved crossdressing because I get really turned on by the thought of having sex as a woman and playing it out. But, like you said "I get turned on as a physical male" and I enjoy my male genitalia in those moments. However, the random boners and the male genitalia when I'm not having sex/masturbating just drives me crazy sometimes! Also, I do find possibly losing my libido if I were to transition to be a little scary as well.

It sounds like it's demon testosterone having a control over us!

If when the primal urge has been satisfied, the mind returns to clarity over its identity, then it must be?

[JoanneB]

To add more to the confusion, most times when I had sex with a woman the only way could climax was to get really into my fantasy of being the woman. Never really picturing a male partner's face, mostly the feelings of both mind and body.

[Jess42]

To add more to the confusion, most times when I had sex with a woman the only way could climax was to get really into my fantasy of being the woman. Never really picturing a male partner's face, mostly the feelings of both mind and body.

I can really identify with this.

[Lilyyy]

justa quick question. what does libido mean? i here it a lot and ive never looked it up. is it like body odar or something?

[Dreams2014]

justa quick question. what does libido mean? i here it a lot and ive never looked it up. is it like body odar or something?

sex drive

[CallMeJess]

It sounds like it's demon testosterone having a control over us!

If when the primal urge has been satisfied, the mind returns to clarity over its identity, then it must be?

Yup, that must be it. "I like my sex drive but not the masculine way it is currently manifesting itself" is probably the best way to put it.

[JillSter]

Yup, that must be it. "I like my sex drive but not the masculine way it is currently manifesting itself" is probably the best way to put it.

This might be TMI, but I find that masturbating like a girl eliminates the ugly side of my sex drive. I lose myself in the moment in a way that's just impossible if I do it the "right" way. It's a much more emotional experience. Unfortunately there's no orgasm because, well... I don't have a clitoris! But it beats the alternative imo. And it makes me feel like a woman, which is always a nice feeling.

Probably TMI. But if it helps anyone... Even if you have a male body, don't be afraid to be female in private.

(I haven't even clicked "post" and I'm already embarrassed! )

[suzifrommd]

(I haven't even clicked "post" and I'm already embarrassed! )

No need to feel embarrassed. I do this a lot. I can't climax that way, unfortunately, so inevitable I switch methods and get my O.

My favorite has been to use a double panty tuck method, so I'm tightly tucked, with my male part pointing straight back. It's aligned sort of where the clitoris would be, and feels almost exactly like a female bottom would feel.

Quite nice.