teen.. locked in the closet

[Ravenna]

so im 18
im living at home.. in the closet..  metaphorically of course lol
im about to start college and im going to see a psychiatrist soon for anti anxiety meds hopefully
i have a sister that thinks i might be gay and i think shes half uncomfortable half accepting even though im trans
not gay.. i have a brother that wouldnt take it well.. i live with my grandparents and mom.. neither of which would like it.. i think this transition from highschool to college isnt a good time to try and see a gender therapist
plus.. i dont have any money.. but im just itching to go
i dont know what to do

[Pia Bianca]

I'd say try your best to see a therapist. In your age, there's a lot possible; if you're really trans and it sounds like that, you'll bite your ass off, if you miss your chance. I know what I'm speaking about.

That said, only do what you're comfortable with. Sometimes it's better late than sorry.

[Katie10]

I don't know what college that you would be going to buy colleges generally have services on campus for lgbt people.

[suzifrommd]

One word:

Allies.

You need to find people who will support you in your efforts to get help. Couselors/teachers you met in school that you can trust? Close friends?

Is there some type of LGBT organization in your area? Pflag? This is a heavy burden to accept alone.

Find help wherever you can.

And of course, we are all here for you.

And I agree with JulieR. Tell your psychiatrist. He needs to help you get the help you need. That's his JOB!

[Joanna Dark]

When you get to college there will be LGBT groups and maybe even trans or genderqueer orgs. Join them. The colleg prolly has a counselor just for LGBT persons. See her. You might not think now is the right time, but really when is the right time? There will always be a reason to put it off. If you really need to transtion, it's best to start now before you become self-destructive. By your age, I was already in complete self-destruct mode. Act now. Do something.

[JillSter]

What everyone else said. You will have people around you who can help you tremendously. You just have to seek them out. It's one thing to know; it's another to do something about it. The first step is talking to someone. You have a lot of people here in your corner. But you need someone in your life who knows about gender issues to discuss your feelings with. Seek them out and do what's best for you. If you decide you need more than someone to talk to, they can help you with that. If not, then just talking about it will help you understand yourself better. Whatever you do and whatever you decide -- Good luck and be strong!

There will always be a reason to put it off.

This is true. If transition is what you need, don't fall into this trap.

[missy1992]

One thing which you should do is get one hormones ASAP. The longer the wait the higher the regret. In the age of the internet you can surely use local tools in order to obtain hormones/start HRT. At 18 you are starting at a good age, even better than someone in their 20s. Don't squander this opportunity.

[Ravenna]

thanks everyone
im in quite the pickle
i found an email address to a gender counselor about an hour and 45 minutes away from where i live
shes the closest specialist
i typed out an email but i dont want her to think im some insane kid looking for free advice
should i send her an email ? what should i say ? :d

[Jess42]

There may be one closer to you Ravenna. Call a therapist closer to you and ask if they have any knowledge with GID. Some, my own therapist being one, is well rounded in different issues and even if not they may know someone who is and can point you in the right direction. My therapist doesn't out and out say it but one of the questions on the paperwork when I started was about Gender Identity.

[suzifrommd]

i typed out an email but i dont want her to think im some insane kid looking for free advice
should i send her an email ? what should i say ? :d

If she's a decent compassionate gender therapist, she will reach out to you. She will understand how hard the situation is that you're in.

I would tell the truth. Say you're a transgender teen who is unhappy about being in closet. Your means are limited, but you know you need help.

If she doesn't respond, she probably wasn't the right therapist for you to see anyway.

[kariann330]

Point of advice, act soon!! Trust me you don't want to be almost 30 and kicking your own butt for denying who you really are for so long.

[Ravenna]

so far ive messaged one therapist
two gender specialists
and one lgbt friendly endocrinologist a little wiles away
why couldnt i just be born female
even if they respond.. i dont have a car.. i dont have a job
i bet endo visits are expensive too.. my birthday is september 26th
im going to be nineteen in less than 2 months
the older i get the less the mones are going to work

sorry im making this thread like unnecessarily  long

[mrs izzy]

I don't know what college that you would be going to buy colleges generally have services on campus for lgbt people.

Not sure if you are in the lower 48 (USA) but if you are.
A lot of the collages now in just the last year have forced there school health insurance companys to include all services for GID. Maybe the one you will go has changed there policy? Keep in mind if you are in the lower income bracket, public assistance can help with some things..

Luck on your lives path,
Izzy

[Ravenna]

thanks again guys : )
i message a local gender specialist social worker in my area
this was my emai to her

Hi Ms.Lerner,
I found your email on compassglcc.com
I'm an 18 year old transgdered girl in the area
I have a few questions:
do you have experience with transgendered clients ?
If so how many sessions with you is standard
before you'd write a letter of rec for hrt
thank you for your time!

this was her reply (so nice lol)
Hi Ravenna,
I am so happy that you found my info and have decided to reach out to me. Yes, I have experience working with transgendered clients. It really depends on the individual regarding how many sessions it takes before getting a letter of rec for HRT. I am a solution focused therapist so I try and work as quickly as possible to get results.
I look forward to hearing from you. Please let me know if you have anymore questions.
(i was excited it was so positive lol)
and then i laid my cards on the table lol
this was my reply
Hi Ms. Lerner, its exciting to hear back from you!
  I do have a few questions, but I believe telling you about my current situation would be appropriate
I am about to start college soon.
I am also without a car or job at the moment so therapy is on a whim right now.
I know some doctors do not require letters of recommendation, but I have yet to find one. 
I am absolutely sure of who I am, while also being reluctant to tell my family.
Do you know of any endocrinologists in the area that are able to work with transgendered people?

im anxiously waiting for her response.. i know theres nothing she can really do but its nice to feel
like im doing something to start transition
sorry this is so longg

[Ravenna]

heyy ladiess
the therapist social worker lady didnt really work out
im trying to find an informed consent clinic : d
i think thats what its called
i live in south florida : d
ive searched and searched but im not getting anywhere !
maybe you know something that might help me : d
im turning 19 in less than two months..
i dont wana wait any longer : d

[Jamie D]

so im 18
im living at home.. in the closet..  metaphorically of course lol
im about to start college and im going to see a psychiatrist soon for anti anxiety meds hopefully
i have a sister that thinks i might be gay and i think shes half uncomfortable half accepting even though im trans
not gay.. i have a brother that wouldnt take it well.. i live with my grandparents and mom.. neither of which would like it.. i think this transition from highschool to college isnt a good time to try and see a gender therapist
plus.. i dont have any money.. but im just itching to go
i dont know what to do

I think college can be a great place to experiment with your gender expression.  And if you are on a student health plan, or have access to a student health center, you should be able to get ongoing therapy.